I didn't know what true love was, Until the day you slipped away. Since then, I've cursed every word that left my lips, Each one I hurled at you in that blinding rage. I was furious, thoughtless, burning— But I had to make you feel my pain. I couldn't swallow it any longer, Not after the way you turned from me. A whole world crumbled inside me then, I'd believed you loved me, faults and all. I never wanted it to come to this. But I had no power to hold it back. Even before that, I was already broken, Fate toyed with us both, and he changed his mind: He snatched what he never truly gave, And I received another blow. I've lived like this since—alone, alone, alone— Bound to someone, yet starving for a companion. Because nothing feels the way it did, That wild certainty I'd have given you everything. Now all I can really wish for Is to find the way back to you, To forgive you for every word you spoke, Words that tore open my heart and left it bleeding.
# Repentance I have sinned against the morning light, against the dew that trembles on the grass, against the bird that sang at my window when I turned away, heavy with sleep. I have sinned against the old woman who asked for alms—I saw her eyes and looked through her, as though she were a pane of glass the world shows through. I have sinned against the child's question, left it hanging like a question mark in the air between us, unanswered, while I busied myself with trivial things. I have sinned against my own heart, taught it to close its doors, to draw the curtains against wonder, to mistake caution for wisdom. I have sinned against the night, refused its invitation to stillness, hurried past the stars as though they were merely holes in darkness. I have sinned against love— not the grand, announced kind, but the small, daily love that asks only to be noticed. And now I stand here, palms open, waiting for the rain to wash me clean, knowing that forgiveness begins when we finally stop running from ourselves.
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