216.
The 'I' itself is false, and so everything seen through its eyes is illusion. 'I exist'—this very awareness is actually a delusion. And since we see, know, and feel everything through this sense of 'I', all of it too is unreal, maya, mere fleeting shadows without substance.
What are the fundamental elements of this 'I'? The five elemental substances (panchabhutas) and the three qualities (sattva, rajas, tamas) that underlie body and mind. From the essence of these arises this knowledge—"I exist".
Now the question arises: can that which depends on the elements of body and mind, that which itself is temporary, ever-changing and perishable, ever be eternal truth?
Never. Because truth is that which is self-founded, indestructible, independent of anything else. From that perspective, the 'I' too is a delusion, a floating sensation that momentarily awakens, resting upon body and mind. And since we perceive the entire world through the eyes of this 'I', everything in the world—all of it is unreal, dreamlike, reflection, illusion.
In Advaita Vedanta, the sense of 'I' is not the Self; it is a temporary notion that arises within the sense of Atman. This awareness arises and disappears within the body-mind constructed of the five elements and three qualities. Therefore, it is changeable, perishable, and hence false.
Everything seen through this 'I' is seen through the filter of this delusion—so it is not real, not eternal, but rather time-bound, changeable, illusory in nature. What existed before this 'I', what this 'I' rests upon—that is real. You are that, the one witnessing even the 'I'.
The sense of 'I' is itself false, because it is temporary and dependent on body-mind. Whatever is seen or felt through the 'I' is also false and illusion. The world, experience, thought, personality—all are constructed through this false 'I'. Therefore, to know truth, one must let go of the 'I' itself, and abide in the silent absolute that lies beyond it.
217.
"I remember my past births"—not of the person, but of the continuity of consciousness. In the Gita, Lord Krishna says—"I remember all my past births." But this remembrance is not of personal identity or name and form—He means to convey—"I am that consciousness upon which this sense of 'I' has repeatedly arisen."
Krishna is 'Parabrahman', that is, your and my true nature—consciousness, formless, non-dual. Birth after birth, the elements of body-mind (panchabhutas), qualities (three gunas) and circumstances have changed—thus names and forms were different, but each time that one sense of 'I' arose—"I exist".
Krishna's realization actually means—He remembers the continuity of the 'I', not of personal identity. Not "I was that one, then that one"—but rather—"I am that consciousness upon which the 'I' of all births has arisen and dissolved."
In the language of the Gita, Krishna is the supreme consciousness, upon which the drama of all births and the sense of 'I' unfolds. When He says—"I remember past births", it means: "I am that consciousness which no time has touched, upon which there has been only the coming and going of 'I'."
Birth means the arising of 'I', death means the disappearance of 'I'. This 'I' came in different forms according to body, qualities and circumstances, but each time it came upon one formless consciousness. That consciousness, that Krishna-nature—nameless, formless, without birth or death. When Sri Krishna says, "I remember all births", He is not remembering the person, but rather the continuity of 'I'—that consciousness upon which the sense of 'I' has come repeatedly, that is what He speaks of.
Body, name, form, roles—all have changed, but 'I exist'—this sense of being has eternally remained the same. Krishna is that Parabrahman, upon whom the drama of 'I' unfolds, and you and I too are that same consciousness—only mistaken, we have held ourselves to be some particular form.
218.
When the 'I' is absent, who is absent? You are not always joined with the sense of 'I'.
This is not permanent—in the arc of life, it awakens, then sleeps, or dissolves into unconsciousness, into death itself.
For a time after birth, the ‘I’ remains dormant, and during sleep it is suspended. Yet it persists in a manner like an absent presence, hovering in the background. Most of the time you exist as ‘I’ + ‘this’ or ‘that’—as in “I am a man,” “I am a teacher,” “I am successful,” “I am a failure.” You become so entangled in these additions that you lose the pristine clarity of the ‘I’ itself.
Thus life passes in a dreamlike state, where the ‘I’ ceases to be a mere sensation and becomes a practical mask. Now the guru speaks: return to that primordial, luminous, wordless ‘I’—where there is no addition. And when you begin to abide in this pure ‘I’, even the sense of ‘I’ dissolves.
Then arises the question: when the ‘I’ vanished, who was there to know it had vanished? Then you understand—there remains an eternal, silent, imperceptible Being, which was witnessing even the ‘I’, and finally absorbed it, transcended it.
That ‘Being’ is what you are—the substratum upon which the ‘I’ rises and falls—and you were never that ‘I’ at all. The sense of ‘I’ itself is not permanent—it awakens at birth, is lost in sleep, dissolves in death. This ‘I’ is merely a sensation of temporary self-identity, conjoined with name, form, identity, and desire—then you become ‘I’ + something.
When you meditate upon this ‘I’ in its wordless, unadorned state, it gradually dissolves. Yet something still remains that knows—’I’ is now gone. This knowing proves that you are that knowing-consciousness itself—belonging to nothing, merely awareness.
The sense of ‘I’ is bound only to its comings and goings. When you meditate thinking of nothing but the ‘I’, the ‘I’ too becomes invisible. Then the question arises: “Who perceived that the ‘I’ was lost?”—this very inquiry carries you to that eternal consciousness, which is neither ‘I’, nor ‘thou’, nor ‘anything’—merely Being.
219.
Abide in the ‘I’, dissolve within it, then transcend even that. Within this sense of ‘I’ lies an unprecedented power. This entire creation, this world, time, body, mind, thought—all have emanated from this ‘I’. Within it dwells such a stable, relentless presence that it sustains the cycle of birth and death, and humanity, entangled with this ‘I’, carries forward a dream called life.
To transcend this powerful ‘I’ for liberation, one must first know it truly—wordless, formless, in pristine clarity. Then through meditation, one must become established in it, in such a way that you become one—united with the ‘I’ itself.
And in that very moment will occur a miraculous event—the ‘I’ will dissolve within itself, and you will no longer exist in the ‘I’, but in that eternal silent existence beyond it—what is called ‘Parabrahman’, supreme consciousness, your true self.
The sense of ‘I’ is the primal thread of creation, the first manifestation of consciousness, and through that very thread the whole experience unfolds. It is so powerful that within it weaves the entire net of the world’s perception and conception. But for liberation, this power is not to be suppressed; rather, it must be fully understood, rested in, dissolved within.
Then the ‘I’ itself spontaneously vanishes, and you silently roll into that state which is neither ‘I’, nor ‘not-I’, but rather a voiceless, formless, non-dual supreme reality.
In the ‘I’ dwells infinite creative power—from it emerges the world. For liberation, it is not to be denied but understood in purity, to be established in it, to become unified with it. In the depths of that meditation, the ‘I’ itself dissolves itself.
Then you arrive at that immutable existence beyond ‘I’—what is called the ‘Supreme Brahman’ or the Absolute.
220.
‘I’ is the guru dwelling in the body, while the ‘True Guru’ is that invisible Absolute. ‘I am’—this awareness present in every body, this foundation of all perception, the root being-sense of all life. You may grasp this ‘I’ as your guru—an embodied guide who will lead you deeper still—into your own nature, what is called the True Guru.
This ‘True Guru’ or Supreme Guru has no form; he is unmanifest, formless, silent. He alone is the eternal witness, beholding the ‘I’—beholding the guru housed in flesh, beholding waking, desire, thought.
Thus knowledge and meditation on ‘I’ is the path to reaching the True Guru, and the ‘True Guru’ is that silent Self who never is born, never speaks, yet sees all, knows all, remains.
The sense of ‘I’ is the first step in self-remembrance—it arises within the body, and through it the knowledge of Self begins. This ‘I’ is called guru because through it you begin to see yourself. Yet this ‘I’ is not the Self itself—rather, it is a mirror of self-perception. He who beholds this mirror, who witnesses the arising and dissolution of this ‘I’, he is the ‘True Guru’—unmanifest, supreme, the eternal witness, ever present and ever to be.
The sense of ‘I’ is the form the guru takes in the created world, while the ‘True Guru’ is the hidden truth of that Self, dwelling at the root of all consciousness. Accept the ‘I’ as your embodied guru, he who will lead you toward self-knowledge. Within this very ‘I’ lies the gateway to reaching the True Guru.
Who is the True Guru? He is that eternal Absolute dwelling within you, who beholds the ‘I’ itself, yet never manifests. Thus your practice is this: to dwell within the ‘I’, and at last, transcending the ‘I’, to stand in the silent witness-hood of the True Guru.