I'll kill you!

 After so many days, you look at me today, wanting to show compassion, because my heart has broken. Before, you never had even this much time.
  
 Well, do you know how cruel a person can sometimes become when their heart breaks like this? The way you see me today—this is what I have become from enduring my heart's fierce shattering.
  
 In this life I have only given, thought only of everyone else, never expecting anything in return. Truly, when I would see you happy at the end of each day, all my pain would disappear. The more joyful your heart remained, the more strength you found to move forward. Watching you advance toward your goals filled me with such gladness. I would try with all my might to care for you even more tenderly.
  
 One day you truly reached your destination. Perhaps no one was happier than I that day. From that day forward, I gradually began to understand that you no longer wanted to remain in my life. Whenever I would ask you, "You'll stay beside me, won't you?" you would make fun of me, laugh it off. We both could sense that your success was creating distance between us.
  
 You who once couldn't bear to go without speaking to me—from that same you, I had to struggle to extract even a word or two. Those few words you would speak in such a way that listening felt like someone pouring terrible poison into my mind and soul. I was gradually breaking apart and coming undone, yet I was the one who had once taught you to be strong.
  
 I was changing terribly; rapidly. Then I needed you beside me; I didn't have you. You were growing busy, you were vanishing from my life. It felt as if you had never existed in my life at all!
  
 Your behavior toward me was such that it seemed I was merely a plaything. You were happily playing with my heart. I understood too late; you had never loved me—in your difficult times you had only wanted to receive my love and care. Nothing more than that had ever existed between us.
  
 As the days rolled on, I wanted you near me all the more desperately. I had so very much to say to you. Then you stopped meeting me altogether, eventually wouldn't even answer my calls. Weeping and weeping, one day even my mental strength to cry was exhausted.
  
 Now I have learned to live in pain. Now I know how to breathe even through suffering. The agonies have gradually murdered me, leaving me numb today. So today I don't want you to ever contact me, not even by mistake. My one fear is that, unable to control myself, I might truly kill you, and then destroy myself as well. Never come before me again.