Not everyone who says “I love you” actually loves. But alas! What about those who lovingly accept even a false “I love you”! Not everyone kisses out of love—some kiss simply because they enjoy kissing. Then why must the kiss be given to someone who receives it out of love? I admit that kissing brings pleasure. But why must that pleasure come at the cost of causing someone else pain? How can anyone know which love contains no love at all? Love, after all, has no grammar!
February 14, 2008. A phone call came! “Hello! Sumi? This is Monir. Do you recognize me?” “Monir bhai from Zoology?” “Yes, yes! Didn’t Sompa tell you I’d call?” “Yes, but are you really you?” “How strange! Happy Valentine’s Day!” “You too! Bhaiya, you sing beautifully!” “Hahahaha… just a little here and there! Put anyone on stage and they can do the same.” And so it continued. At first they talked occasionally, then more and more often. The mobile service company gained another devoted pair of customers.
One day Monir suggested taking Sumi on a trip to Gazipur. Sumi didn’t agree. Though she said “It’s OK” outwardly, inwardly she was quite annoyed by the proposal. The conversations continued. Two months passed. After a few more unsuccessful attempts to convince her to go out, Monir completely stopped contacting Sumi. Meanwhile, Sumi’s mobile phone was stolen. Monir’s number wasn’t saved in her new phone. One evening a message arrived: “Sumi, how are you?” The number was unfamiliar, so Sumi didn’t reply. Some boys are born just to inquire after girls’ well-being. There’s nothing worth replying to such people.
About a week later, while idly scrolling through her phone, Sumi suddenly spotted the message. Women’s hearts—vast oceans of needless curiosity. For no reason at all, Sumi called that number from a different phone. When someone on the other end began hurling the most obscene abuse, Sumi hung up in fright. Then, furious, she sent a text: “Why did you behave like that with me? You had sent me a message. Since I didn’t recognize your number, I called to make sure who you were.” In her message, Sumi included that number along with the date and time of the original text. Then calls kept coming from that number repeatedly. Sumi, still angry, refused to answer. Finally, a text arrived: “Actually, I was really upset about something else, so I didn’t realize it was you calling. I’m truly sorry. Please pick up the phone. I miss you so, so much.” Even then, Sumi didn’t answer. The next morning, a call came from a new number. As soon as Sumi picked up, the voice on the other end pleaded, “Can’t you forgive me just this once? Please, just once! Please!” The words were spoken in such a humble, sweet tone that after a few seconds of silence, Sumi lowered her voice and asked, “Who is this?” “I’ll tell you—first say you’re not angry anymore.” “Look, I don’t think I know you. Why would being angry with you even come up here?” “Sweetheart, why are you acting like this? Just say you’re not angry with me anymore.” “What do you mean? Okay, fine, tell me.” “I’m Monir.” “Oh, it’s you? Why would I be angry with you?” “Actually, since you wouldn’t agree to anything I said, I stopped calling you for a long time. I got caught up with some work too. And I’m really sorry for scolding you like that yesterday.” “No, no, it’s fine. You were talking to me thinking I was someone else. That’s probably why!” “But isn’t my number saved in your phone? Just thinking about it makes me want to cry!” “It wasn’t there—when I changed phones, it’s not there anymore.” “My number should be etched in your heart! I know your number by heart! I really, truly miss you so much. I made a mistake. Can’t you forgive me?” At these words, Sumi felt a strange tenderness, and a little anger at herself. “Actually, I’m the one who’s sorry. Please don’t mind, brother. I’ll remember your number from now on.” “You really are so good! Always stay this sweet, okay?” In some inexplicable joy, sweat instantly beaded on Sumi’s nose, her cheeks flushed red! The foolish girls of this world always have a little too much tenderness in their hearts. That tenderness suddenly spills over in all the wrong places. Once it starts flowing, it doesn’t stop until complete disaster strikes.
After that, they began meeting regularly. At TSC, on the university grounds, everywhere. Sumi knew quite a bit about Monir. Monir’s cousin was her best friend’s boyfriend. Monir was an active member of Balama’s party—Sumi knew this too. But she never said anything to him about it. Monir continued calling her every day as before. Their relationship shifted from the formal “you” to the intimate “you.” One day, in the middle of casual conversation, Sumi found herself asking, “Tell me, do you really work for Balama? Tell me the truth.” After a moment of silence, he answered, “No, I’m with the opposition party.” “But I heard that…” “Do you believe what you hear, or what I tell you?” Sumi said nothing more. Love begins with few words, or with words kept hidden. Love can make a person believe all manner of lies.
That afternoon, Monir asked Sumi to meet him at Stanley Hall field. In the most convincing way possible, Monir shared many things about his life with Sumi. Sometimes he even managed to bring tears to his eyes. “You’re right, I do believe in Balama’s ideology. But everyone knows I’m with the opposition. Soon our committee will be reorganized. I’ll get a position. Please don’t ever tell anyone about this! I promise you, with my hand on your head, that whatever happens to me in life, I’ll stand by you forever. Please never leave me!” Looking into Monir’s eyes, something like tears began rising from deep within Sumi’s chest. A profound tenderness bloomed for Monir. In women, this tenderness is what they call love—feminine love. Once a man skillfully achieves this, there remains nothing that a woman wouldn’t give him if he asked, though she might refuse. Sumi made a promise to herself that no matter what came in life, even if it meant defying the entire world, she would always remain by Monir’s side.
Where
Monir used to call once or twice a day before, after that day Sumi began
calling him constantly, pestering him every moment. Had he eaten on time,
had he gone to class, where was he, what was he doing, and so much more! Often
she couldn’t reach him on the phone. Monir would say, “I have to study, so I
keep the phone off.” Many people would tell Sumi, “Monir has multiple SIM
cards. He talks to many others using the rest of them.” Sumi never believed
such talk. One of Monir’s married cousins showed Sumi some very intimate
photos of herself with Monir through Sumi’s friend. Sumi had told her friend,
“It’s all Photoshop! I don’t believe it. Monir is nothing like that!” A girl
from Promila College had called Sumi to tell her how Monir had promised
marriage and been physically involved with her for days on end. She also
mentioned five other girls whom Monir regularly exploited under political
patronage. Hearing all this, Sumi had unleashed whatever came to her mind on
that girl. Monir could speak very beautifully, was extremely humble in his
words and behavior, always spoke with a smiling face. And then there was his
extraordinary singing voice. Girls would go crazy hearing him sing at various
university programs. Many people would tell Sumi all sorts of things about
Monir. When Sumi would question Monir even slightly about these matters,
Monir would lovingly tell her, “Sumi, everyone says these things out of
jealousy toward me. You should only believe what I say. Even if the whole
world says something different, I only consider what you say as truth. If I
can trust you this much, why can’t you?” Once a woman falls in love with
someone, she can never think of him as despicable. In love there is neither
truth nor lies. In love there is only endless fascination and support for
everything about the beloved. In that infinite fascination, even the greatest
truths of the world become false in an instant if they are not in favor of
the beloved. For Sumi too, Monir himself was a greater truth than the
greatest truth in the world.
Once Monir had a terrible toothache. Sumi called throughout the day to check on him, reminding him to take his medicine. When the pain subsided a little at night, Monir called Sumi and said, “The way you’ve cared for me today—no one in this world except my mother has ever cared for me this much. Stay by my side for life and care for me just like this, won’t you? Never let go of my hand. I truly can’t live without you.” Hearing this, Sumi began to cry. “I’ll never leave you,” she said, “never, ever. Not even if I die!” They talked on the phone almost every night. Sometimes Monir couldn’t be reached. When asked, he’d say he had turned off his phone to study for exams. Sumi believed him completely. In reality, he was talking to his student from Viqarunnisa, a first-year intermediate girl, with a girl named Nipa from Badrunessa, with a female lecturer from his university, with one of his sister-in-laws, and many others like them. Monir had physical relationships with most of these women. Sumi knew nothing of any of this. She would pray after her namaz for him to do well on his exams. Thinking of Monir staying up all night studying while managing so many tutoring jobs made her heart ache with pity and love. Love and compassion are such strange, mysterious things. They can make you believe convenient lies even about the most obvious truths!
One day, very late at night, he called Sumi and said, “Are you sleeping alone? I can’t fall asleep without you. I think about you all the time. Everything feels chaotic to me. Look, I’m walking alone outside the dormitory, thinking of your eyes.” Then he sang to her: “Never ask what brings me joy, what brings me pain…” The magic of Monir’s voice sent shivers through every fiber of Sumi’s being! Monir continued, “Sumi, I can’t take it anymore. Wherever I look, I see only you. When I walk down the street, I mistake other girls for you. I think I’m going crazy! If I don’t sleep properly, I’ll definitely fail my exams.” “If you keep this up, I’ll go crazy too, darling. You have to become something great. Whatever I need to do for you, I will. But please don’t do this to yourself.” This was exactly what Monir had been hoping for!
Munir never studied. What he did instead was: give tuitions, play politics, gang up to beat ordinary students, maintain relationships with countless girls, harass women, suck up to political leaders, organize meetings and rallies, and eat on credit at campus shops. Sometimes he and Sumi would have terrible fights because he’d often skip exams for no reason at all. Once, Sumi was so hurt that despite great effort to suppress it, she held her silence for a whole week in anger. During that time, Munir recorded a song on WhatsApp and sent it to her: “For you alone, in the forest of my heart, endless monsoon rains fall…” Hearing the song, Sumi felt both pleased and furious. That day she called him and scolded him thoroughly, saying, “Never call me again!” He had said, “I love you far too much. I can never do that. Never, even if I die!” Hearing this, Sumi was overjoyed! She said, “Then study properly. You just study—I won’t need anything else.” He replied, “Stay by my side. Then everything will be fine for me.” “Whatever you want will happen!” Once a man can make a woman fall in love, the biggest thing men demand from women seems like a very simple matter to women, because women consider even that as just part of love—they don’t think of it as anything separate. What is mere sexual gratification for men becomes priceless love for women. From that day on, during Munir’s exam periods, they would often stay together at his older brother’s house. He was married, his wife lived in the village and sometimes came to Dhaka. At Sumi’s insistence, Munir quit his tuitions. Sumi had never tutored before. She started tutoring two students solely for Munir’s sake. She would hand over the entire 5,000 taka from tutoring to Munir at the end of each month, and managed her expenses with the money that came from her home. Munir became even freer than before and started doing all of life’s pointless activities with greater vigor, except studying.
Yes, it’s true that from then on Munir did study a little more, but he had decided in his heart that he couldn’t stay with Sumi anymore. Men can tolerate love up to a point—once love’s strict discipline begins, they start looking for alternatives. Munir rationalized to himself that Sumi was humiliating him. Having to listen to Sumi and sometimes make decisions according to her wishes didn’t suit him. Whenever Sumi said something for his own good, he felt she was deliberately trying to belittle him. Both their families knew about their relationship. One day Sumi’s uncle had told Munir, “You’re almost at the end of your fourth year now. When you interview for jobs somewhere, let me know beforehand. I’ll call and put in a word for you.” This comment made him feel that Sumi’s family was looking down on him. Most importantly, almost everything he needed from Sumi, he was getting without even asking! Money, mental support, sex, care—everything! Once men get everything, they can discover at least a hundred excuses to distance themselves! This talent is innate to all males. From then on, whatever happened was all acting for Munir and love for Sumi.
At that time, Munir used to see a girl named Sima occasionally. He had told Sima too that he would marry her, couldn’t live without her, and so on and so forth. He never mentioned Sumi to her. When he was with Sima and Sumi called, he would tell Sima that Sumi was his cousin. When Sima discovered his relationship with Sumi, Munir said, “Oh, that’s nothing. I just chat with her sometimes to kill boredom. She has a boyfriend anyway.” Sumi had thought, “Fine, let him say that! What does it matter? Munir is mine!” On nights when Munir stayed with Sima, he would tell Sumi that his cousins had exams, so his uncle had asked him to stay over and help them study. Sumi had grown accustomed to staying happy with just this thought: “Munir is mine!” Women can construct the most convincing explanations in their minds for whatever they want to believe, and can go on day after day without emerging from that delusion. Munir also frequently visited the home of one of his students, Dola. Since both of Dola’s parents worked, she was home alone, and Munir took advantage of that opportunity. Sumi only knew that Munir sometimes talked on the phone with various girls. Nothing more. Beyond that, Sumi never wanted to believe anything else. Munir’s physical relationships with various junior political girls were pretty much an open secret, but if anyone told Sumi something like that, she would actually think ill of them instead. She would tell Munir, “Why do you talk to so many girls? I can’t stand them, just thinking about them puts me in a bad mood. Everyone says all sorts of things about you, and I don’t like it.” Munir would reassure Sumi, “Oh! Why do you get so angry, my golden bird? They’ll never have me. I’m only yours! Once I finish my honors, I’ll find a job and marry you right away! Then you’ll see them burn with jealousy when they look at you. And why are you hurting yourself over false words from worthless people? When you’re hurt, it makes me feel terrible.” If women even just imagine that other women are burning with jealousy seeing them beside their beloved, they experience something close to orgasmic pleasure! Of course, in this case, men think exactly the opposite! Sumi broke into a smile, lost in some private happiness.
When Monir was with Sumi, he would speak to her with such tenderness. Whatever Sumi said seemed sweet as honey to him—at least that’s how he acted. He would speak badly of other girls, and Sumi would brighten with pleasure hearing such talk. Women, even when they understand everything, surrender themselves like innocents. Sumi did the same. In the days following their intimate moments together, he would transform completely. If Sumi showed too much care, he would say, “All this love-shove business is third-class stuff! I can’t stand your melodrama anymore. I want my freedom.” Sumi would fall silent in fear. What if Monir left her! She had forgotten how to live without him! She would think, fine, I’ll accept it! Nothing Sumi said could be tolerated by him. Sumi would silently accept all his words. Even when Monir made mistakes, Sumi would accept them as her own fault. On each of Monir’s exam days, Sumi would fast. She even performed tahajjud prayers night after night. Many days she fell ill from fasting, but never once told Monir anything. When his exams went poorly, Monir would say, “The exam went badly because of you. When you call and bother me all day, when am I supposed to study?” Sumi would reduce her phone calls. It hurt, but still she would think, let him be well. But then one day out of nowhere, Monir would suddenly say, “Why won’t you talk to me? Have you started a relationship with someone new? How many days have you been with this new boyfriend? More fun than me, isn’t it? Gives you more pleasure, that’s why you won’t talk to me. You don’t need me anymore.” Oh! These foolish girls can’t even recognize what the boy actually wants from such words! Sumi couldn’t either. She would only cry!
Once a marriage proposal came for Sumi. The boy had gone to America to pursue his PhD. After graduating in Mechanical Engineering from BUET, he was abroad for higher studies. He used to come to tutor Sumi when she was in intermediate college. He never told her he liked her, but he had informed his mother. A few days after Sifat left for America, when his mother came to Sumi’s house with the marriage proposal, Sumi’s father was very happy, because he liked Sifat very much as a young man. When Sumi told Monir about this, he screamed, “I knew you were like this! The moment you get a better option, you’ll dump me!” Even after Sumi protested extensively at home, her family wasn’t willing to let go of such a good boy like Sifat. Then, following Monir’s advice, she called Sifat on Skype and with much crying and pleading explained, “I love someone. If I can’t have him, I’ll commit suicide before the wedding! Please help me thinking of me as your little sister, brother.” Poor Sifat didn’t know that foolish girls like Sumi commit suicide many times in their lives. He explained to his mother at home so that they would advise Sumi’s parents against the marriage. After this incident, Monir began taking Sumi completely for granted and became even more reckless. He didn’t mistreat Sumi as much before, but from then on Monir spoke very badly to her. Sometimes he would even raise his hand against her. Monir treated Sumi merely as a sex-toy. Even then Sumi would think, this is what happens when you love!
Monir used to learn karate. He knew many girls at the karate school. The nature of the training meant that touching hands and limbs with the girls was inevitable. Among them, he often went out with a girl named Daliya. She was very beautiful. Since she also had relationships with a few other boys, she didn’t think much of such things. One day Sumi showed up at Monir’s karate school and, after the session ended, struck up a conversation with that girl on her own initiative. After much persuading and pleading, the girl never spoke to Monir again. This infuriated Monir. To take revenge on Sumi, he developed a relationship with their karate instructor and spent several nights at her house. The lady had already divorced her husband. To hurt Sumi psychologically, Monir showed her some photos and video clips. Sumi began to cry. Then Monir said, “If you won’t let me be myself, I’ll do whatever I please.” He added, “You don’t have any qualities to be my wife. You’re not even that good-looking. You study philosophy—you won’t even get a job with that. There’s nothing about you to love. Still, I loved you. Tell me yourself—what should make me want to stay with you?” Sumi said, “Why are you saying all this after so long? Didn’t you think about it before?” The reply came: “I was naive before. I got carried away by your words and forgot everything else.”
After that, Sumi became even quieter, no longer saying anything to him. Whenever she suggested he send a marriage proposal to her family, Munir would say, “Let the time come, I’ll send the proposal myself. You need to give me time to stand on my own feet first. Until then, you’ll have to manage things at home.” Sumi agreed to this too. For a long while after that, everything was going well. Suddenly, Sumi discovered that he was frequently talking on the phone with a girl named Ananya from Class Eight. When she asked about it, he would say, “Oh, you’re being suspicious for no reason. She’s just a kid who talks to me about her studies.” Yet he would take Ananya to various places. He would buy her all kinds of gifts. He would take her to different friends’ flats. Sumi understood everything but endured it all silently, simply so that Munir wouldn’t leave her. The thought of making a home with anyone other than Munir was something Sumi couldn’t even imagine. When she wanted to meet him, he would say he didn’t have time, that he was studying for the BCS exam, yet with Sumi’s tutoring money, he was having a grand time with other girls. After finishing his honors degree, when he received a scholarship to Finland for his master’s, he more or less decided that he wouldn’t stay with Sumi anymore—even though Sumi had paid all the money for applying to scholarships at various universities. One day, sitting at his laptop at his place, Sumi discovered countless video clips on his phone of his various misdeeds with different girls. Sumi had taken money from home saying she would buy herself a laptop, and had given that money to Munir to buy him one instead—and now Munir was using that very laptop to watch other girls. Just thinking about it filled Sumi with intense disgust for herself. One day Munir came to Sumi crying profusely over a girl named Sneha. He said, “She doesn’t have money to fill up her exam form, please give me some money.” Seeing his tears, Sumi felt great pity. After giving him the money, she decided in her heart that she would never maintain any kind of contact with him again. But alas! The centuries-old shameless heart of womankind! She couldn’t convince herself in any way. That very evening, coming home, she called Munir again. Waiting! A full hour and a half of waiting! After that, writhing in anger, sorrow, rage, pain, and anguish, Sumi doesn’t even know when she lost consciousness. When she came to, she found herself in the hospital. She had to stay there for three days.
When she called Monir again after returning home from the hospital, he answered, “You! Again? I thought you’d left my life for good. What are you back for now?” “Please, don’t talk like that. I’m dying. I really can’t go on living. Save me.” “Haven’t you finished your drama yet? Going to the hospital, humiliating me in front of everyone at home, putting on quite a show. How much more? Will you find peace only after you’ve killed me? Let me live my life. Enough! Enough is enough!” “Why are you speaking to me like this? What did I do wrong? I loved you. I only wanted you. I never asked for anything else in life!” “There’s no point saying all this. I don’t need you anymore.” “Do you love someone else?” “No, but it’s no longer possible to be with you.” “If you ever fall in love with someone else, tell me that day. I’ll go far away and won’t torment you anymore. Please, Monir, please!” “You’re a cheat! You’re sick! No sane person could stay with you.” “But you promised me you’d stay by my side forever.” “Oh, nonsense! You’re such a fool! All guys say those things when they’re in a relationship. I used to love you, I was with you. Now I don’t love you anymore, I won’t stay. Simple! Can’t you even understand that?” “Then why did you do all this? Why did you play with my trust like a toy? Why?” “Oh, that’s what this is about! So what if we had sex? Everyone does it. I did too. I didn’t force you. Does having sex mean you have to get married? Where is that written? Who wouldn’t take what’s free? And I’ve thought it over—you’re not really a good girl. A girl who has sex before marriage isn’t good. If I married you, my children would turn out bad like you too.” “Then why did you say you’d marry me? Why did you teach me to dream? Why…” Before she could finish, Monir cut the call and switched off his phone. No matter how many times she tried calling, she couldn’t reach him again.
Women’s hearts are such enigmas! They understand everything, yet refuse to accept anything! The next day, Sumi suddenly convinced herself that everything that had happened the previous evening was wrong. What she had heard on the phone—all of it was a misunderstanding. Pure hallucination! If she called now, Monir would surely apologize. She kept calling, kept calling. Monir wouldn’t answer. Then she called Monir’s roommate and learned that Monir had gone to Stanley Hall’s field to meet some girl. Sumi rushed there like a madwoman! She found Monir lying with his head in a girl’s lap, chatting away. The moment she appeared before them, he very politely dismissed the girl, led Sumi to the pond’s edge, and after hurling abuse at her, at one point struck her hard across the left ear. Sumi fell to the ground from the slap. Blood was flowing from her ear. While she was holding a handkerchief to her ear and returning home by rickshaw, Monir went to his room and called Sumi’s father: “Uncle, your daughter is bothering me terribly. Just a while ago she came to my hall and humiliated me publicly. My career is being ruined because of her. You’re the father of such a shameless girl! You should be ashamed! Control your own daughter!” Then he called his own mother and spoke all sorts of nonsense about Sumi. His mother called Sumi and scolded her severely, telling her never to disturb Monir again.
That night, furious about the whole situation, Monir drew 3 syringes of blood from his own body, and his friend texted this news to Sumi. Sobbing, Sumi began calling Monir again. When Monir didn’t answer, she called his roommate and asked, “How is Monir now? If something happens to him, I won’t be able to live—I’ll jump off the roof and kill myself.” “No, no, nothing like that happened. He’s playing games on his phone right now!” Women’s hearts—they simply won’t listen to reason! A little later, Sumi went up to the roof in secret and began to cry. Just then Monir’s call came. “I see you’re shameless from birth! Why did you call Kafil? Do you want to have sex with him?” Then he unleashed a torrent of vile curses. Sumi said through her tears, “Why did you draw blood from your body?” “Do I need to justify that to you? We’re political guys. Even if a couple bags of blood drain from our bodies, nothing happens to us. And why are you screaming like a street girl? Bitch!” “Curse me all you want, just never leave me. I can’t live without you.” Monir hurled a particularly nasty curse involving Sumi’s mother and hung up the phone.
That night, he couldn’t be found anywhere. The three phone numbers Sumi had for him—he’d switched them all off. Two days later, he called and said, “Sumi, I’m really sorry. I’m already dealing with so much hassle over the scholarship, and if you behave like this on top of everything, how is it going to work? I’m doing all this for you, aren’t I? Give me a few days, sweetheart, let me sort things out, and then I’ll marry you before I fly. Promise! I know you’d die without me. How could I let that happen?”
That day, after apologizing with these words, he told Sumi “I love you” for the first time in ages. Tears welled up in Sumi’s eyes. She felt terribly angry with herself. It seemed like everything was her own fault. “Old girl, I love you madly! Maaadly…!” Sumi felt happiness the way she used to in the old days. Tears streamed down her cheeks for the first time in so long. Her entire body and soul trembled with the shiver of joyful tears.
Phone conversations continued for a week. Monir had said he was extremely busy, that once he sorted out the scholarship matter, he’d meet her. Sumi felt she could wait a lifetime for such a man. In the meantime, she sold some of her jewelry and borrowed from friends to arrange money for Monir’s plane ticket. She bought and sent him eight jackets and some clothes so he wouldn’t catch cold abroad. She bought him lots of dry food. On the ninth day, the call came: “Everything is OK!” Sumi felt that at this moment, the happiest person in the world was named Sumi! She ran to meet Monir! Sitting by the pond at Stanley Hall, they chatted as afternoon melted into evening. Suddenly Monir asked, “Did you eat anything for lunch?” Even though she hadn’t eaten, she said with a smile, “I did. Did you?” “I had lunch, but I feel like eating something with you. Come on, let’s eat together. It’s been so long since we ate together!” Sumi wasn’t particularly hungry—just seeing Monir made her feel good, nothing else mattered. It felt like she could spend an entire lifetime just gazing at this man! To honor Monir’s words, she went to a restaurant. Monir ate tehari; she had a glass of lassi. An afternoon flew by on the wings of love and affection. After so long!
After that, Munir went to meet some relative, and Sumi returned home. That night, Munir called and spoke in an irritated mood. “Everyone helped me so much, and what did you do for me? What good is the money you gave? You people are beggars! You don’t know how to help anyone. When I finish my Master’s, I’ll be able to hire a dozen maids like you. Then maybe I could have paid back all the money. You didn’t help at all—instead, you finished off all my money!” “What are you saying? How did I finish your money? And how much more do you need? Please tell me! I’ll try to arrange it!”
“Why? Don’t you remember anything? Do you know how much money was wasted on you today? If you hadn’t come to meet me today, I wouldn’t have had to sit in that restaurant. The money would have stayed in my pocket. I could have lived comfortably for two more days with that money. Do you realize how much money you’ve made me lose from the very beginning? You’re completely useless. You think I don’t understand anything, don’t you? I know exactly why you’ve been following me around like a dog! When I return from abroad, it’ll be nothing but dollars and dollars! That’s all you dream about—those dollars! What a worthless girl! Don’t ever try to contact me again.”
Sumi had never known that anyone could speak like this. A glass of lassi could become such a vile accusation! She felt like vomiting everything out… She had never been so humiliated in her life. Even if he had slapped her a few times, it wouldn’t have hurt this much. Sumi had covered Munir’s entire two years of expenses. She had tutored without telling her family, sold all her jewelry, and did all kinds of shopping for him. She had paid for various exam forms. She bought him books, arranged notes for him. Of all the expenses for going abroad, she had covered the lion’s share. When someone gives gifts to their beloved, when they spend money, no one keeps track of how much is gone or what they’re getting in return. No one gives anything to their beloved expecting something back. Only one desire peeks out from the unconscious corner of the mind: that the beloved person should love them a little—nothing more!
Sumi’s dearest friend, whom Sumi sometimes trusted more than herself, with whom Sumi shared all her secret sorrows to lighten her heart, all her complaints about Munir, to whom Sumi poured out her heart and found relief—that very Ratna had been given a ring by Munir before he left for abroad. Sumi had never understood anything. Munir and Ratna’s relationship was of long standing. With great difficulty, Sumi had one day managed to send Ratna just this much in a text: “Why did Munir treat me so well a week or two before going abroad?” The reply came: “He suddenly had some trouble with his scholarship. The chairman of their department is your uncle’s friend, so he thought maybe you could create some problem through your uncle. What if his scholarship got cancelled! That’s why he didn’t want to upset you. That’s all, friend!”
Excellent