First Part
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(Let me have the pleasure to share a few conversations with one of the 5 most important persons in my life. She is the best mentor and guru I’ve ever found till date. I’ve never met her but to confess the truth, whatever I’m, I’m only because she stayed by my side virtually on Facebook during the days of my almost nothingness. I was greatly moved by her life philosophy. She is an Indian living in California. She is a chartered accountant and used to work for Disney. She decided to leave her job for some reasons where she drew a starting salary of nearly 22 lac BDT in 2008.)
~~ Conversation started on October 1, 2010 & ended on November 30, 2010 ~~
: Hi lil bro Bappi…..... I was thinking of you, so thought of quickly writing you a note. All these days I have been sooooo consumed with myself that I never asked how you are doing... I miss our chitchats a lot.......
: Hello didi, Good Morning or, Good Evening. How are you? Are you still consumed with the familial problem? I miss you a lot too. I'm a bit irregular in Facebook these days. Yes, my 'no conversation' girlfriend 'study' hardly allows me to be regular. Friday is a weekly holiday in Bangladesh. I'm now off to my paternal aunt's house just to take a two-day break. Your sweet note has reached me when I'm contemplating on life and people around me. Yes, I like to think when I'm on a journey. I also miss your lines and life philosophy. I like everything you write, suggest. Take care.
: Hi Bappi.... so, enjoying your weekend?........How far is your aunt’s house from yours? Man! I don't mean to rub it in……but a part of me is HAPPY that structured studying is over.... I have such an ADD (Attention deficit disorder)!!! Seriously LOL…. I have started my script….but I don’t go far in writing….I end up dreaming and thinking……and then Neel comes and distracts me furthermore…..I started to routinely go to the gym cause I’m a creature of structure….. So, at least that is sanity time for me LOL…. …else is the same ol’ same ol’.. I reallllly miss your status … they very always so thought provoking……I too am so irregular on FB...mostly just responding to my wall post…I had removed FB mobile from my phone but now I added it back…..yaaah dependency LOL!!!!
So, are you all gearing up got Durga Puja?? Soon we have Navratri...and Durga Puja....I'm looking forward to it…I love all festivities...I look forward to celebrating.....our Hindu festivals then go in American holidays....like Halloween, Thanksgiving and my FAV ONE: Christmas!
: Dear didi, how are you? Can you feel the essence of Puja hanging on air? Yes, it's Puja time. Time for fun, time for dance. In Bangladesh, it's the most awaited festival. I can hear the ring of bells of Puja and want to make you hear too. :)
The past few days hardly spared me anytime to be regular on Facebook. I'd to complete three test papers as I'm going to sit for an admission test on the 22nd instant. Your sweet note anchored my soul, but I couldn't make a response. I'm really sorry for that. Please don't misunderstand me. Unpleasant exams always make us do stupid things, you know. A leisure-time is to be attained before it's tasted. It's still a far cry for me. I want to escape, but before that, I must be in it. ;-(
Now tell me about yourself. How are you passing your days? I've missed a lot our mutual conversation, sharing of thoughts on various topics. I miss my non-academic studies. (But, I've managed to read four books in the last few days besides my academic reading……yeeeeee…….)
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
With sincere love
Bappi
: (silence from her end)
: Didi, Happy New Year 2011!! Give my hugs to Neel. :)
: Happy 2011 bro .... Any new year’s resolutions??? I decided not to have any this year... Am never completing them then stress out the last day of the year... Yeah just what I did for exams too... Lol …….wait all year then sweat last few days lol ... so you all prepared…..Yeah exams are closing in... Bright side.... After that one less stress... But will have new stressors ... We work hard to get stress out and then work harder to release the stress... Which we could save ourselves from... By not working hard in the first place...Lol…. just kidding ...... Work hard ... Give it your best shot... Never compete with others cause there can be times where it's an easy competition ... Compete with yourself... That's a better benchmark…....
Best of luck bro
: I'm so happy to hear from you. Resolutions? Well, I enjoy it more seeing others make them. I'm tired of making and breaking them. Like sister, like brother. Hahahaha . . . I've a strange instinct toward exams. Let me share . . . . Reading for exams is the worst thing for me to do. Tell me to study whole day long. I'll do it gladly provided that I'm not taking any exam! I'm not a very routined student following a rigorous schedule. Yes, I study most when the eleventh hour comes. Even I completed my Honours in this way. Many times I purchased books just on the day before the exam-date. My book-seller phoned me to know whether I passed the exam. Every time my answer was 'Yes', he became tired of hearing ‘lies’ (believe me didi, I really passed every time) from me and stopped showing such curiosities!! . . . Such are the stories of my exams! And, this time I'm going to sit for a really tough exam, the hardest exam system in Bangladesh. Thanks, my little common sense, I studied earlier!! Very unusual on my part since I started studying engineering. Believe me, I'd always been a very very studious student before I started doing my graduation. I continued it later too, but only non-academic readings. . . . .
Yes, I'm trying to compete with myself. You suggested me to do so earlier. I remember every word you write to me, every idea you suggest for me. :) :)
My exams will end on the 23rd instant. I'll be really very happy if you sometimes write to me. I promise to write the twice to you after Jan 23. . . .lol . . . . Silly I'm! You're thinking. Right?
Take care, didi.
Your loving brother
Bappi
: (silence from her end)
: Dear Didi, how are you? What are you doing these days? Busy with guests? How is Neel? Have you finished reading the book that you tried but couldn’t? I feel like reading a book . . . Didi , suggest me 5 books please . . . I've found today the book, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ . . . I instantly remembered you as you're BIG fan of that book and shared some wonderful lines with me. But, on the cover it was written that It's a must-read book for all women. And, I ended up buying, ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’ and ‘Don't count your chickens before you hatch them’ . . . I've also found the sequel of ‘The Secret’ and its name is ‘The Power’. But, I didn't buy it . . . . How is the sequel? . . . There was another book, ‘The Power of NOW’ . . . . I've not bought it either . . .
Waiting for your reply . . . :) :)
Bappi
: Sorry Sush, I fell asleep with Neel yesterday ... no actually the truth is I fell asleep putting Neel to nap and don't know when he slept... but when I woke up he was beautifully spread on my face :)….best feeling a mom can have! …..the most precious feeling is when I feel my son's little fingers on my face!
Two books that come to my mind are ‘The Last Breath’ by Peter Straks....Cautionary Tales from the Limits of Human Endurance ...
‘The Art of Racing in the Rain’ by Garth Stein…… The second one is a beautifully crafted and captivating look at the wonders and absurdities of human life . . . as only a dog could tell it……It's really nice.... very well-written and you don't have to be a pet lover to read it :)
I really think you will enjoy reading them... I did...
Will add more books as I run them through my mind... today am still heady from the last WC game. :) …….. can't seem to snap out of it....
Love,
Radha
: Dear didi, how are you?
……..the most precious feeling is when I feel my son's little fingers on my face! ........ One of the most touching lines I've ever read!! What a million dollars worth precious feeling!!!
Thank you for recommending the two books. I'll try to collect them from the bookstores tomorrow. I don't know whether I can manage to get those. Now I'm reading The Power of Now, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, The Secret (second time), The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari & Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch ...... Reading these is like reinventing the wheel, enjoyable though. And, I often overcook my thoughts and reach a conclusion making no difference from who I was. .... lol
What about Eat, Pray, Love?? I saw it in the bookstore.
Didi, why aren't starting writing the book about which you once wrote to me. Just start, I think, you should.
I know it's not easy for you to manage time for writing, but I'm insisting, please do. I'm eagerly waiting for the golden moment when I'll become financially established and can do only one thing: WRITING. And, my biggest problem is, I can't connect my thoughts to my writings. Being simple is really tough for me. Simplicity is the most challenging pursuit to follow in every work we do. I often can't.
Didi, you've commented on a recent status update of mine and what you wrote was so affectionate!! Not everyone else is my elder sister to overlook all my faults, you know. :)
Didi, have you noticed that I'm losing my spontaneity and fluency of thoughts? Its impact is obvious in my writing. I think I must develop my reading habit. I'm waiting for the moment when I can get a Govt job and have enough time for studying and writing. I'm really waiting for that MOMENT!!
Write when you've time to write. Take care.
Love,
Bappi
PS ..... I'm sorry for replying your message late..... Hope you're not already tired of such continuous apologies from me. (I don't mean that more are waiting for you ......lol)
Do you know that I often check whether you've removed me from your friend-list whenever I'm late (or, you're late) in replying?? Please didi, never do it. That would be horrible for me. I'm afraid I can't bear that much. :)
: Dear Bappi ...Haven't forgotten about you... Just tied up... :)…..and yes you are still on my friend list... Always will be... I promise!!!!! :)))) Will write more later……
Loads of love,
Radha
: Dear Radha didi,
Happy Birthday to You. Wish you a gorgeous journey to the next spring of your life. Be happy forever and make others happy . . . Always smile as I like your smile …. :)
I don't know why I couldn't see the notification of your birthday on Facebook. Hey! Mark Zuckerberg!! Do you know what you were going to do? OMG!! Did you know I can fire you for this?? :-P
I hardly visit the Facebook homepage where all the posts are available. But, today I was doing it (I don't know why), and came across some posts on your wall! Thanks to myself!! Law of Attraction works!! It really saves!! Yes, it did!!
I'm very sorry for this late wish.
PS . . . . Didi, do you still have the three poems I wrote for you on your previous birthday? They're lovely. Right? Read them once again. You'll feel good. :) :)
Love,
Bappi
: Yes, I have them :)…….. thank you brother... yeah late me ... I have become such a procrastinator.... I feel yeah I’ll do it….in a sec....and that second never arrives...I inadvertently get distracted.... I blame it on the age.... cause I don't want to be held responsible hence accountable lol ...how have you been?
Loads of love,
Radha
: Didi, are you annoyed or angry with me? Are you there? I'm online ....... If you're free, can we have a chat?
: Nooooooo am not angry or annoyed.... Oh u are too cute!!!! Am busy shopping for Neel’s bday party .... His bday is on Sat Aug 20 ….so rushing…..as we have karate and swim lesson and then a play date .... So sorry Sush .... No no no
No not at all upset
My chat on mobile doesn't seem to loads my online friends :(
Load WhatsApp... It's online free msging
: So sorry ..... For what?? No no ..... Never say sorry to me..... You don't need to do it ........ It’s always OK ..... Anything with you .....
Neel's birthday!! WOW!! Such a cutie cutie kid..... your son, my nephew ......... he must be so !! Right??
I wish I could dance and sing with Neel whole day long. Give him tons of hugs from me on his very special birthday!!
How are you? How are your days going on? I miss you a lot but I can't communicate with you regularly ........ Studies! Studies!! Studies!! So lucky you’re!! You got it finished .......
You are super-duper sweet tooooooooo ......... :) :) :)
: ……. :) So, we have a mutual admiration club ... As I pointed out a while back when we connected on FB …... I'd say almost 2 years ago!! Wow ... That long ....yes I see you are busy with studying and me with Neel’s ever so demanding schedule of extracurricular activities.... Yeah from this September onwards will be his homework too from school :)
But honestly... I think I meet u every day as I am at the gym daily and bump into this handsome young fellow ...yeah perhaps no similarities but he very much so reminds me of you :)….. I guess it's the fault of my ageing eyesight... Lol
While Neel is turning 4 ... His mommy dearest is in her 40's :)
The number is the same... *****
If you have a smartphone try ‘whatsapp’ I have sent you many requests on that... so I thought you changed the number LOL
: Dear Didi, my handset is a very humble one, Nokia 3110 Classic . . . . . And, my number is also the same . . . ***** . . . . As I don't use a smartphone, I never got your request. Don't misunderstand me. I never knew that you were sending so many requests.
: I just sent a text let me know if you rec'd it and respond to it.
: Oh God! I'm trying thousand times and my message isn't delivered to you! Why can't I send you texts in this number . . . ****? I've got yours. I can't find out the problem. I tried many times earlier and failed each time. That's why I thought you'd changed your number. :/
: Try doing **** ... Strange u used to communicate via txt before ... Did u change the instrument or carriers?
: I informed the customer service dept. They told me the recipient **** is rejecting your texts!!
OK, I'm trying ****
I still can't send u texts!! It says, ‘Message rejected by recipient’...... Wait, I'm going to screw my mobile operator!!!!!!!!
: :(
: What happened, didi?
Why sad?
What happened?
: Hey, you are on chat?
: Hello!..... hmm ...... I'm on chat room .....
: Cool
: U r here too ...... supercool :)
: Yes I logged on
: Yes, u logged on, for sure!!............ How r u? How r ur days going on?
: I am OK………..recovering……..and planning the trip next week to India.
: Recovering from what?.......that's gr8!!
: So swapped between preparing for Diwali and for India trip……….I had appendectomy……..emergency case as it ruptured.
: Now fully OK?
: Yaa... well I back on my feet running around like a mad woman….. lol
: Like a mad woman? Sounds nice……..hahaha
How is Neel?
: lol……..seriously...
: Does he like his new school?
: Neel is good....loves to spell and count……..he tries to read words….....
: He must love ...... he must be brilliant ......
: Hopefully, he'll start reading soon too….
: He surely will ....
I like to see him great one day ....
: Every parent thinks their child is gifted :)
: I sincerely do……….Yes, it's natural……..ur kid must be gifted :) ………my nephew .... na? B-)
Where r u, didi???????
: ….. :) here
: Not only smiles, send some words too……lol
: My connection seems kooky.
: hmm .... not seems .... it is……..hahaha
: Yes, I keep typing.
: Then??
The text does not go.....
Right?
: No, I don't get urs
You get mine ...yaa?
: OMG!
Why?
: OMG???
: U don't get mine ..... tht's why OMG .....
It’s a harmless OMG!
: …….. :/ I know
: Why sad?
: I don’t get you text :/
: But, why?
I'm responding as soon as I'm getting urs.
: I know...
: Facebook! I'll screw thou!!
: But I don’t get it :(
: Now getting? (I sent 3 just before)
: Nope :(
I do get international text
: Nope??
Why? Is it fb's problem?
Don’t u get all international texts on fb?
Or just frm here Bangladesh?
: No no
Not fb
On phone when u send me on mobile number
: I really can't understand why I can't send u texts ..... A few days back, I just felt like crying ..... when it displayed ...... ‘Message rejected by recipient’
Did u change any setting for intl sms?
: No….
I still get international texts
: Didiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii................where r u ?????????????????????????
: am here :)
I just text u again via my mobile number :/
: ……… :) I've not got anything :/
: …….. :/ I just sent
: It has not reached .....
: Hmmmmm
OK Sush
Need to run……
Neel is up.
: Lost somewhere while crossing sooooooo long distance .... bechara
OK didi
: lol
: Run Annie Run!!
: Bechara text………lol
: Take care
See u later
: You too
: Hahaha
: Ciao for now
: Bye didi :)
: Happy Diwali
: Didi, how r u?
R u busy now?
Didiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :/ :(
: Bolo
: R u busy now?
If u r, I can talk to u later
: No no, I am not busy………Am in Delhi…………just wrapped my morning run.
Second Part
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~~ Conversation started on November 30, 2010 & ended on December 14, 2010 ~~
: Can u chat with me now?
: Sure ... U OK bro?
: Hmm .... I m superOK
How r u?
Didi , do u know that ur little brother has reached the dream that he often talked about and u inspired him about?
And, he has stood first in order of merit in the whole Bangladesh ...... can u believe it, didi?
In the Bangladesh Civil Service (BCS) Exam........ the toughest exam in Bangladesh .....
Can u believe it? U taught me how to be sincere to my dreams....
I can remember my hard days when u were beside me always……..
I can remember the hard days when u were beside me always (just loved to repeat!!)
: Oh I am soooooooo happy for u bro…….I'll send u a message from my cell now
: Yes, I got it.
: Fb hangs on my mobile device.
: :)
: **** Can u respond?
: Hmm……
Got it.
: Cool!
: I can't send u an sms ..... :/
Over cell phone…..
: I have no idea why fb is soooooo slow :/
: Why?? ……… It’s OK
Can u come to chat room
We can chat faster
: Where is chat room?
: Fb chat....
Oh.... got it ..... u r on ur mobile
: It says ……. time out……. unable to load my friends :/
: U r on a tour .... ?
U r in a super-duper mood :)
U r my super hero!
My idol .....
Always
This success of mine is only as u were there.......
How is Neel, didi?
: Lol……. Thanks, but I think all the credit goes to ur hard work.
: Does he like his school?
To hard work? ...... Maybe, but more to smart work ...... ur inspiration was there too. :)
: …….. :) ….Sush, I need to run and shower. I'll catch u in a bit.
: OK didi .... run run .... Have a nice day.
: Didi .... How r u?
: Hey!
: Wow!! Didi ..... How r u? U have forgotten me………..Uhuhuhuhuhu .....
: LOL…….NOOOOOOO I haven't forgotten u brother…….you are always on my mind and in my prayers.
: I know :)
: Then why did u ask? :)
: Didi .... didi ..... Tell me everything about how r u .... wht u r doing ..... how is everything going on ...... tell tell ...... I ask, as I like to ask ....
: Oh! I have such a soulful trip...
: ……. :) I know…….
: It was my time...
: I checked the photos…….
: I did all praying......and partying……
: Sounds great!
: Eating and loving to eat .......
: Eat Pray Love ..... hmm ....??
: Yes, it was my eat pray love journey…...
: Sharmie posted all and tagged me……. :)
: Needed it….. I was a mommy all these years...
I became my gypsy self for these 5 weeks.
No schedule...
No destination...
: U r a born-gypsy……
: Just the moment….
: I often think……
: Yes, my soul is gypsy…..
: I like ur gypsy soul.
: And, best of all, I said sorry to one guy I hurt the most in my life……. Feeling great!!
: Are u in NY now?
: No, I am home in California.
: Whom?? Whom???
U hurt???
OMG!!!
: My first boyfriend....Nitish’s brother….
: Really???
Tell me abt it .....
Plz .... plzzzzzzzzz
: We were young……thought we'd get married....
But, then dad died and I moved to the USA.
: Oh sorry!
Then??
: Now…….. I feel good I said sorry…..
So if I die now I can face God without guilt…….
: Wht was his expression?
U r too great ..... ur soul is great.
: He was happy.
: Didi, do u know I prayed for u when my BCS result published?
: He is a great guy….just not my soul-mate……
: Everyone around u loves u, for sure!
: And, he is mature…….lol
: He must be a lucky guy as u loved him……
Do u still feel him, didi?
Didi, if someone loves me but I don't, is it my fault? Can she blame me for it?
Some do this ...... uffffff
And, Girish's brother must be married now.
Right?
: brb……
: And, living his life happily.
OK, brb.
: I always meant well for him.
I, of course, loved him and the love is not necessarily defined as a materialistic lust term.
Yes, he is married and has a beautiful wife and realllly beautiful children.
After seeing Robin’s pix he is happy I didn't marry him as he LOVED and still LOVES his hair……. Lol ………. (NB…. Robin, Radha’s husband, is bald headed!)
: Sweet love story, didi ...... not an expected ending, though.
Everyone must be blessed who comes around u.
I'm blessed.
: No no, I m happy of the ending.
: I believe my result is because of u……
: We both agree we weren't soul-mates... just soul-friends....
I'm gypsy in soul...
I needed a ground anchor like Robin…….who lets me live and yet anchors me in this materialistic life...
: Is it something for which u have a gypsy soul?
: We have many good friends.....
I don't know what I'm searching for….I know it's not at a materialistic level……..am drawing to a force I can't define :)
Bussss……a wanderer....lol
: It's always great to be in a constant quest ..... as u gather something always worth-gathering.
: Ta ta bhai... need to run my 3 miles before I wake Neel up....yes...
: OK didi ..... Just send me some text when u have time
: Did u see my pix with Santa?
: No.... OK, I'll.
: Ciao for now....
: OK sister….take care.....talk to u later.
: Hi Sush!
: Hello didi……..my sweet didi
Today I told a lot about u to another of my favourite persons
She was so happy hearing about u
: Who is that?
: Parveen Rahman
: OK
: She is a very nice lady.
: lol
: lol ..... why ??
U are developing 'lol syndrome' these days .....lolzz….. (me too??)
: She must have thought it's so silly....the way I am……I laugh a lot
: No no ..... No one can ever call u silly in front of me .......
Never!!
She appreciated u so much
: Where is she?
In Bangladesh?
: Yes, in Bangladesh
: Did u see our Xmas pix?
: No, not yet……where are those pics?
: In my photos……….
: OK I'm checking……thnx didi
Didi, why are u so gorgeous always & forever?
I like u, ur family
: lol
: Everything of u ..... :)
: Thanks bro
I look really good in photos…... very photogenic :)
: U r originally beautiful, I know……I guess…….so so lovely!
: Thanks, brother!
: Don't mention ....... I know what u think of me ...... u r always so sincere to me
U r most welcome, didi
: We did this breakfast past Sunday
Now I have to make Christmas cards and even shop :/
: U r so busy ...... I know
I wish I could help u in shopping and everything
: But I don't feel like doing anything…..so lazy.. It’s cold outside and sooooo cozy at home.. lol
: Hahaha ...... it's always is .... u summed up it so nicely ....... it's cold outside and sooooo cozy at home
hahaha .....
: It’s like 3 degree C
: OMG !!
I never experienced that temp
: lol
: U smile too good on facebook……lol
I'm also developing lol syndrome, u see
Like attracts like
Didi, I've told her to read Eat, Pray, Love & The Secret ....... she told me she would read them
: Yes….Like attracts
: The Secret is the secret of my great success ...... I've told it many and also abt u as u suggested me it first.
U r my all-time favourite !!!!
: Thanks :)
: When I will visit the USA, I'll meet u
: Yes….ABSOLUTELY…….and looking forward
: We will have super-duper time together! I will hug Neel ......so so so sosoooooo cute kid!!!!!!!!
ummaaaaahhhhhh
: He will love his cool mammu too when he meets you!
: I know, he'll love me ......
Kids love me so much ...... always
I'm very fond of kids
I like them
: :) You are a loving person..….It’s not hard
: U r also a goddamn loving person
: Well... yes ...so everybody says... but my true critic is my hubby ..... who lost all his hair married to me ... lol
: Aahhhh!!! After marriage he lost his hair?
: :/ …..sadly yes...
I think the timing was wrong...
He would have lost it anyway...
: What did u do with them? u could spare them at least ...... ;) …..lolzzzz
: It’s just I got married around the same time I got married to him lol
That’s what he said too lol
: Hmmm ..... it's so ...
hahaha ..... good ...... my jijaji thinks like me
: lol…….he does..