An explosive burst of energy flows from the fingertips to the toes with an impulse characterized by an intense desire for the body and the mind to act according to the intent of the impulse --- then man seems to be defenseless. How can impulses cause such a strong desire that man loses his sense and yields to desire? Desire even exists, man is not punished if he does not respond to an impulse, rather the opposite --- man is rewarded by not responding to impulse. Impulses tend to be extremely strong, so they are not just thoughts or feelings that slowly heal to eventually reach the surface. Impulses arise like a tsunami from calm water, only to wash over the shore with intense force and anger, where only the most immovable and formidable structures can withstand the wave.
Impulses are not created from anger or malice, nor are they created from benevolence or joy, impulses are uniformly valued neutrally, it is man's reaction to the impulse that creates anger, malice, benevolence, joy, and other consequences. Impulses have the ability to penetrate into human consciousness and bring about the positive as well as negative consequences long after the initial impulse arises. Memory serves the purpose of reminding man of how he resisted responding to desires, and creating resistance to future desires; memory can also serve the purpose of continually dragging the individual's consciousness into the grave. How man acts on the sensation is crucial to the immediate and long-term sanctions of the impulse, man has the ability not to react responsibly and healthily to what the impulse entails, the feeling and memory of the impulse are quickly discarded and disappeared for good. However, like an ocean, an impulse can also have devastating consequences for humans. If man gives in and responds to the impulse initially, the impulse will take the form of an immortal and immensely annoying fly, whose life's mission is to sour almost to the human ear indefinitely. The memory of the impulse's negative consequences is glued along the retina of the individual and shows up unannounced at the worst possible time to challenge the individual to again react unhealthily to a similar impulse. Responding to impulses is a downward spiral whether the reaction is desire or aversion. The defense of the impulse is greatly enhanced at all times the human being responds to the sensation.
The memory of a multitude of absurd sensations, originating from a specific summer day during adolescence, is imprinted on the mind, and is always readily available for the consciousness to visualize, even if the impulse did not cause any devastating consequences or dissatisfaction. This summer's day I walked down the notoriously steep hill in the city I grew up in, Chittagong. Well below the hill a white, furry, little devilish dog approached. The dog eagerly pulled his master along the sidewalk up the steep hill, the closer I got to the dog, the more clearly I could observe this disfigured creature, not physically disfigured, but mentally! The infernally ugly dog barked and barked, the house felt unbroken, the moment the dog passed me, I was hit by a strong impulse to kick the dog half as hard as I could. Immediately, a satisfactory picture of how the little furry white dog flies through the air was visualized, spinning like a cartoon, until the dog finally blinked like a star on the horizon.
Dear reader, do not despair, despite the strength of the impulse, I managed to ward off the impulse, I did not execute the dog with a life-threatening football kick in the stomach, even though this act was a strong desire at the moment. The reason why the memory image is still so strong today is that I reacted to the impulse --- I did not, however, act upon the desire, for many hours and days afterward I was distressed by the fear of having experienced the impulse of wanting to harm something as beautiful as a living being. Truly, I lacked the ability to relate to the impulse healthy.
Does the reader now experience more juicy descriptions of the author's human shortcomings?! It was a very ordinary, boring day in the ninth grade, we are in the home knowledge room with the aim of enhancing our culinary ability through gourmet cooking such as cooking instant macaroni and roasting ready-made meatballs. On the day of honor, for the impending venerable impulse, ordinary teachers were sick, in his place the school's librarian "Plato" was called in to replace, an older man with gray hair, to say the least, a unique character with equally unique clothing style. Plato was an impressive man who impressed us, students, with his excellent speaking ability and formal language on a daily basis. The cooking lesson began, the memory of what we cooked at this particular moment is diffuse, probably the memory has been erased in the light of more important details.
At the next memory image, I find myself standing with a sharp knife in my hand ready to cut vegetables, suddenly the mind is struck by a strong impulse, the impulse created an extremely strong desire to take the knife, go ahead and chop the substitute with the knife. My whole body was filled with worry and fear. Like a man in shock, I froze to the moment, an unpleasant roar flowing along the spine, self-fear and self-contempt grew with haste and after a second I imploded, a second that in reality felt like an eternity. Out of sheer fear I laid the knife on the cutting board, and with rapid steps rushed out of the home knowledge room and into the nearest toilet. With the help of a mirror, I stared myself right in the face, my tears ran uncontrollably to my cheeks, the body was automatically moved from the sink to the toilet seat. Shaking and filled with fear and anxiety, I spit out several times before I first schooled and went home to my parents.
Let's assume it was a class picnic or something like it. Since then, I have a strong phobia for knives, truly I was unable to relate to the impulse healthily. Admittedly, I cannot currently relate objectively to thoughts and impulses in certain states of mind, but slowly the defensive positions of the mind are strengthened as a result of not responding to the majority of impulses I am afflicted with, and those impulses which I cannot resist do not allow body or mind to cling to. This process reduces suffering, whose extended arm assists the environment with positivity. May man never rest one day from developing himself and improving his own situation, may man identify, and then take the steps he needs to teach his subconscious not to respond to sensations that arise. Only in this way can man begin to approach life without suffering.
