ভাবনাদেয়ালের পলেস্তারা: ১১৬

ভাবনা: আটশো ছয়

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এক। What makes us who we are? What sets us apart from animals? What suppresses our primitive instincts? It's that humanity. Humanity and morality are those that suppress our instincts and make us acceptable to the world, to society. But what if this mask is torn off and our darkest thoughts, desires, desires, hatred, desire to kill come to the surface? If all conventions fall, all the laws of morality that keep us at bay vanish, if our anger is released from the chain? The consequences have been, are and will be far-reaching for individuals. Wars, blood vendettas, murders. After the fall of all these walls around man remains only what stays after removing layers of onions---a rotten nucleus, a ball of all-absorbing darkness that constantly desires food and is the bane of everything just for your own pleasure. Not only can society spoil a good man, as Rousseau says, but also can the time when one carries within himself his inherited sins.
Wars are originally the result of primitive instincts rooted in man, as well as a desire for violence and destruction, but these wary people, while not suppressing their nature, still remain humans, unless they become homicidal beasts. Even so, they still have a little of what makes a person human, if in a twisted form. What makes us human is not that we can talk - maybe some animals can do it too - we just don't understand them, or that we walk on twos, or even that we can create and destroy at the same time. What makes us human is the ability to feel. The ability to feel compassion, regret, joy, sadness, the ability to give love and receive it. This is what sets us apart from animals, which show joy only by wagging their tails, for example, because they cannot laugh, or sadness by whining or crouching, because they cannot cry. Animals can't feel remorse, they can't feel sympathy for others.

But what if we lose this ability, perhaps through great emotional strain or hardship? How can such an empty person live then? Like a soulless body? Yes, that's right, it's more easily filled with hate instead of love. It can be filled with a desire for revenge, a desire to hurt people, just to toy with them without being affected in any way. He can really pronounce the word love without any thought of the word and its meaning. He can play with the feelings of others as a puppeteer does with his creations and through them emerges just the architect of a great theatre. How, then, is such a person with an icy heart who can no longer feel different from the worst, most selfish killer, who has denied all compassion and is only happy with violence relevant to the context of the time? Does this person then remain anything other than an ingenious torturer? Does he still remain a human? It's up to each of us to think about it.

দুই। Young people's problems... Of course, this is a very common topic of many conversations. Young people seem to have a lot more problems than their parents and older generations, that's a bare fact. But can we explain why? Is it because they are subject to much higher demands than before?

If we want to make a difference in life, we have to build a career since high school. And we mustn't just be mediocre, because society demands an above-average skilled workforce. I don't think some young people can take this lot of pressure. Moreover, often their own parents do not have time for them due to the large accumulation of work.

Maybe that's why they run off to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, vending machines. But is that really a good solution for them? We're still trying to solve the problem of how to help them. Drug centres are being set up, rehab is being created, and so on. But is it really effective?
Wouldn't it be enough to just sit down with them (while there's still time) and take everything apart with them? Clarify the future and priorities and support them in their efforts?

Unfortunately, quite often this is proving to be the missing link in troubled youth. They don't have enough background (even emotionally) and then run to crutches.

It seems to me that the older generation mostly just condemns us. But words like, "this generation today is really terrible, where the world is going!" won't help us. Moreover, the elders of our population could also remember themselves and their youth. Were they really better, or do they just have a bad memory? Maybe in their youth, they were also rebels.

Believe me... We know we're in trouble... You know that, too... At least most of us try to solve them... And how are you doing for us?
They don't know if there are greater demands that we have, but as has already been said here, every generation has its problems, and the explicit ones are accurately expressed. Many things have been made easier for us. We've been given the opportunity to have better access to books and other amenities.

Of course, some parents may have been rebels, but I can't judge my mother. She's had a hard and cruel life since she was a kid, and I don't look into others. A lot of young people need, as has already been written in the text, more understanding, and also trust from their parents. I can't give you an illustrative example. Because it's different for everyone. All I know is that my mother has always been nice to me and talked to me about everything as a friend. And I personally think she raised me well. I grew up without a father, but I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't take drugs. Of course, it was up to me, too. I'm happy for her.

The old generation had, among other things, completely different life values. It wasn't about accumulating wealth and careers; it was about living a happy life. Believe in God, start a family, take care of it, and leave the rest alone. There were problems, but not what's happening today. The only solution I see is that every small person has to think about their priorities. Is it about a happy and joyful life and about finding a purpose in life at all, or just about accumulating wealth and social "recognition"? That's for everyone to decide for themselves.
Education, creating interests and opinions certainly plays a big role... it's hard to say what makes some people primitive and live only for alcohol, cheap fun and sex. Otherwise, I agree with the view that there were no such possibilities before, and nowadays, everything is being publicized. I strongly disagree with the generalization: "this generation is bad", there are different types of people at all times and places.

ভাবনা: আটশো সাত
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এক। Romantic love is an addiction,
Peaceful love is the attraction!

Love without peace is not love at all.
Peace without love is peace after all.

Being alive means being in peace, no matter there is love or not.
At the end of the day, peace is the only thing that matters!
You may love me or not love me, but if you let me live in peace, I can accept you.

Love is nothing when peace is gone.

দুই। There are many attractions in the world. Love, trust, or friendship. We think it's all a matter of the heart, and scientists say it's a question of what's happening in the brain. Then what is "friendship"? How to describe and explain it?

I think friends are definitely important in our lives. Those people who lost their friends are replacing them with alcohol. I once asked a man why he smokes cigarettes. And you know what he answered me? He says he smokes because a cigarette is like a friend who never leaves him. It will always be faithful to him and won't betray him. Yes, on the one hand, he's right, we have to admit that. And it kind of helps us understand people like that. Alcohol helps them drown their pain and stop thinking about it. And what pain? Maybe the best friends who have just left him. But let's think, were they really friends when they left him?? What if they just wanted to use him for something, and as soon as they got it, they turned their backs on him. It's like they don't know him, they have forgotten the moments they spent with him...
But how can we identify people like that to save us from the trouble? How to avoid them? Are there places where they don't live? So, I can answer the last question for sure: no! In every city, village, these people just live and will continue to live. The world can't be cleansed of them, they've lived here since the birth of man.

But another question is being born in my head: Why are they doing this? Is it possible that someone hurt them with something, too, so they thought the others were like that? Yes, it is possible, but to tell you the truth, I don't know anyone like that. Well, let's try to create a short story here that shows just that.

I mean, let's put yourself in the role of a young girl who doesn't have a lot of friends because she's poor. This may seem strange to you, but there are still teenagers who stay away from the poor... Suddenly, she comes to the inheritance of her great-great-grandfather, of whom they had no idea. All of a sudden, they start to notice and seek her favour just so that they can be her friends. The girl realizes that and thinks if she's rich, she can afford everything, and that's how she gets a lot of friends. Unfortunately, when the whole family incomprehensibly throws money away, they go back to their places. And with that, the girl would be abandoned by the friends she had, trusted, and revealed her secret wishes to. She is very hurt when she finds out that her "friends" have told everyone about those secret wishes, and so everyone at school is sly to her. Because she doesn't want to be recognized for sadness and anger, she becomes as fake as they are.
Fortunately, however, there are also people who are not fake and who are serious about friendship with us. These people are called friends. Real friends. We can say they're the actual valuables in our lives. Valuables that cannot be bought or sold. All you can do is winning them over. Friends are here to help us in difficult times. And it doesn't matter if it's the death of someone close to you or job termination.
We can tell them everything and, above all, trust them. But what happens if we betray them somehow? We'll probably break the trust they had for us. Sure, we can ask their forgiveness and apologize to them. Maybe they'll agree to make friends again, but trust me, it's never going to be the same. There will always be a scar of betrayal between us, even if the wound is already glued together. But there's still a trail left behind, and it won't be erased.

And what's my conclusion? Life without friends is not life. It's just wandering around the world.

তিন। Probably everyone knows that humans seem to have evolved from monkeys. While monkeys keep jumping on trees and eating bananas, people keep developing. Monkeys communicate with the same gestures and procure food in the same way, rarely changing the way they perform their activities, and this is mostly due to changes in their environment. On the contrary, people have evolved in their own way since they became human. Gestures and gesticulations turned into human speech, they learned to adjust food on fire, and because they wanted to make all the work easier, they made their own tools. But it's not just their ingenuity and skill that characterize them. If a prehistoric man were content with being able to get better food, he probably wouldn't be much different from monkeys. But why did he start drawing paintings on cave walls, making clay statuettes, and doing strange rituals? I can't quite imagine a monkey or a bear being dragged out of the dirt by a portrait of their mate.

The answer is clear. People experience adventure and excitement on the hunt and feel the need to express their experiences in some way. People don't just say it's the night at sunset, people say, "What a beauty, how the sun's rays turn the clouds red and the horizon slowly darkens, after all, we're beautiful in that world." Sexual intercourse is not just an activity whose job it is to spawn the next generation. Thus, people can express boundless affection for another, so they can express their, otherwise indescribable, feelings. Human qualities are not just joy, laughter, love, and other feelings of happiness. People can be disappointed, unhappy, angry, they can hate others. And here are the questions: What are people like today? Are humans still human today, or is their behaviour similar to that of monkeys? Or is man evolving into another creature again, just as man evolved from a monkey?

If we look at human civilization today, we'll think it's really mature. We know numerous ways to get food, we can build large and architecturally demanding buildings, and technology is moving faster and faster in development. But people in the Middle Ages also thought that their castles and catapults were vastly advanced, and today their technique seems primitive to us. From my point of view, nothing has changed. We are constantly looking for different ways to adjust food, we are constantly inventing new and better tools.
The fact that our technology is constantly improving is just a natural development, people will probably always be resourceful and will find new ways to simplify their lives. That's why I think that from this point of view, we're still human. And what should we think if we look at our civilization today in terms of people's qualities, mutual behaviour towards each other or so-called moral values? We're going to see people killing each other, whole nations fighting each other for completely meaningless reasons. Hundreds of people die every day, in car accidents, in murders, in wars, starvation, deadly and incurable diseases appear. People deliberately hurt each other, steal from each other, and make themselves useless inconveniences.

If we looked at our world just like this, we might think the apocalypse and the end of the world were coming. But people also make each other happy, help each other, they can hold on to the most difficult moments, new friendships are always formed, and there is still the magical word 'love' that no one can describe, but everyone has to live it, otherwise, in my opinion, life has not been lived. But we don't have to worry about that, because I daresay that nowadays everyone knows love in their lifetime. And those who treat others unfavourably are unnecessarily aggressive and hurt others, either they have not yet known love or have bad experiences with it. But it is also up to the person themselves whether they take only the bad sides from life, or whether he learns lessons and seeks the goodness in life.
Nowadays, people have learned to put everything in a balance of good and evil. But I think that if there is such an affair, nature itself holds it in the right balance. I believe that all the hardships and ugliness that people invent are balanced by mutual help and love, and that's probably how it's supposed to be. I believe that nature itself knows best how to maintain this ratio, and I fully trust it in this. But it's easy for me to say. What would people say to my opinion whose families die in wars and live in poverty themselves? That they're dying just to balance an affair? That's a tough question, and I don't know the answer to it. There are still many questions to which I do not know the answer, and I do not even know if there is any correct answer to them. And that's the beautiful thing about life that it's not absolutely clear to us why we're here, and we're still trying to find answers to our questions. I think as long as people keep looking for these answers and asking new questions, they're still going to be humans.

ভাবনা: আটশো আট
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এক। I would like to start by saying that I was never one of those people who planned their lives or knew exactly what they wanted to do. I'm more of one of those people who live the day today and don't think about tomorrow. After all, as pessimistic as it may sound, in some cases, there may not be a tomorrow at all!
Sometimes I think I can't think about the future if I don't have my current problems solved. But I'm not saying I never imagined what my future life would look like! But can it really be taken as what I expect from life? Does my life have its dream, or do you want my life's desires to mean the same as life's expectations? I don't think so! We all have our dreams and our wishes. But many of us find it hard to come true. They're either too demanding or you don't have the ambition to achieve your dream. That's why I prefer not to plan and take what puts my life in my way!

But if I really had to fall into the dream world for a while and say what I wanted out of life, I would say with certainty that a lot of money, a high education, a happy life and maybe even a good partner. That's how most of us think! Modest people are dwindling, and no one will ever tell you they'll settle for little. But these are basically longer-term plans, and since life isn't just what's going to happen in 20 years, it's all about what's now, I guess now I'd just have to sort out my problems with my friends and finally start doing something for my life. For some, it may not be such a high claim, but for me, these are the two hardest things in the world right now!

Of course, I'm in my third year of university, and like everyone else, I'm already thinking about what I want to do next. Which way to choose? And can I get there? My problem is that I may have set too high a goal to fulfil my dream! I'd like to get into some kind of psychology major. And is that even possible from business school? I'm sure it is, but you shouldn't be as lazy as I am! Like I said in the introduction, I'm not one to think about the back wheels, and I'm working my way through life as hard as I can!

Sometimes success is replaced by failure, and it's all about chances rather than planning. But it is necessary not to worry about these situations and to survive them in peace. After all, man does not live in the past or the future, but in the present. I can sigh at what I did wrong, I can also think about what's going to happen when I'm "big," but what's the point of all this? I can put the past behind me, I can leave the future to fate, and now? Now I can enjoy being what I am, having a place to live, something to eat, and having people around me who love me. What if, that you often forget, tomorrow (maybe) a car run me over? So why plan?

Planning is often a pointless thing. You plan something, your plan collapses like a house of cards, and people who are used to planning make a big head out of it, as it could have happened! Just them! Everything was ready for the letter, and it didn't work out! What now? For such people, there is perhaps only one solution: set either lower goals or become a complete phlegmatic individual!

Maybe it's my age or my character, and maybe anything else, but I just never expect anything from life. It's up to every person how they make their lives and how they feel about it. We're all just of a different nature, and I say that nothing can ever be planned to work. For this, I'm not a pessimist, but a person who sees real-life chances and who doesn't want to be disappointed that something just didn't work out. We'll get so many blows from life over time, it's not even worth it! Someone learns from their mistakes and gives up after planning for a long time, and someone is just an eternal optimist, so after a while of despair, as if it could only happen as they had planned, they rewrite the plan or create a wholly new one. But for me, thinking about what I'm going to be and what I expect from life is a waste of time that I could use for something else, something I want to do right now and not wait for 20 years to go by! At this point, I don't really know what to expect, so I'll settle for what it is.

So, what do I expect from life? I would sum it up like this: "Always accept everything and never expect anything!"

দুই। If what they say about dreams were true, which is that they would come true in time, I might be the luckiest person in this rotten world right now. Yes, I would have friends with whom I would have new and new adventures every day, get along with my family, and maybe even get back what was most worth to me so far, and that's love (sure, each of you already knows what it is, but I just can't help not mentioning it.). I'd probably have countless supernatural powers, I could survive every situation and, surprisingly, rise from all the deafness. I can really only dream about that.

But why? Why do we even have dreams and have our secret wishes? Why doesn't it get filled up? Why, when a star falls in the sky, is there only one more disappointed person in the world? Maybe if our wishes were fulfilled, even just a childhood wish or that ordinary wish under the stars, some realists think the world would be boring. I don't think so. Wouldn't each of you want to live your life where nothing bothered you? To experience everything without problems, to have only beautiful memories and finally to close it all with a sweet, inseparable death.

Why am I writing this? To keep you in the game a little. I've lost a beloved little man who now visits me night after night. I can't be with him in broad daylight, I'm with him at night. That's why he makes me think about it, because if dreams came true, maybe I wouldn't be writing about my thoughts right now, he'd be here with me, and everything would be fine...

What to do about it? The only way to become a happy person is to stop wanting nonsense and dropping other people. When you start loving all people, you start respecting each other a little, then you can be happy. If we stop thinking about ourselves and start giving away a little to others, then we can do it. We can be happy. We complain that we suffer, but how many people in the world are without parents, without food, how many are disabled and sick? Countless! Let's help them out a little. Each of us has the opportunity. Even you! Help where you need to and don't feel bad. There are hospitals, institutions, homeless people. Sometimes a financial contribution is enough, sometimes physical help or a good word is enough.

If we go back and start living as good and just people, our lives will be beautiful and happy. We will not avoid suffering because we are self-causing it, but we will understand it at least a little. Well, good luck!
Each of us wants to live a beautiful and happy life. That's man's greatest wish. But have you ever wondered why that's not the case?
Everything in this world is perfect and beautiful. The whole universe, our planet, animals, and plants. Only people aren't perfect. Animals don't live in wars or hate. Not even plants. Just people. People hate each other, they fight each other, they hate each other, they sing to each other, they destroy this planet and its entire ecosystem. And then we wonder why we don't have a happy life?

What did it look like in the beginning? I think it was absolutely beautiful. People lived in harmony with nature and with God. But then what happened? Then they began to hate and yearn for power. And it's bad!! Every evil comes from the ugly and perverse desires of men. That's why you're suffering, that's why I'm suffering, that's why every man on this planet is suffering!

Sometimes maybe it's better to live in night illusions...

ভাবনা: আটশো নয়
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এক। What do you think of when you say "blood"? Men, syringes, bloodstains, stabbed human bodies, bloodstained eyes, bloodstained spikes, dying individual, run over dogs on the road with catching poor eyes... Or simply a rich red of the rarest liquid in neatly folded vials and tubes, or a pool of blood dried from the victim's sleeve on a dusty, sun-dried dirt road abandoned by civilization.

Blood is everything and nothing. It gives us life and takes it back. As long as we have enough of it, we do not miss it, nor do we fully realize its importance. It circulates in our veins day after day from birth to death. It does us a great service and should also be properly handled. I say "should" because it doesn't always happen. No unnecessary blood-shedding, because if you kill or injure someone, you're going to kill something inside you. You're going to hurt yourself in the first place.

They say a verbal blow hurts as much as a physical one, but when that person is still alive, we can theoretically apologize to him. If he doesn't accept the apology, we'll at least make it easier for ourselves and our conscience, which can't be cheated. If we drive him to his death, it won't help if we start to blame each other later. He died, and he's not coming back. He went to eternal hunting grounds and... we are still here with our remorse and the label on which it is written; "In a way, I helped one person bleed to death, and I didn't get a chance to tell him that I regretted it, and I'm so sorry."

Meanwhile, the blood won't feel any change in us, and it's minding its own business. It flows back and forth in veins as if it weren't a good time. I hope it's not even right, but something's happened... SOMETHING, FOR SURE. Is it objective? Or fair? Or does it hold the culprits? No such a flood of queries, it sticks to the best possible option–it minds its own business and follows only one law—a self-preserved instinct, though, perhaps better to say man-preserver.
Isn't that beautiful? I wish most of us could be like this! We may not even realize how many pokes, curious people, spies and selfish people live among us, but there are certainly many of them. And if you're blameless, throw a rock. There is no man without sins or otherness because no one is (thanks, God) perfect. Everyone has a weakness and something different from others. From fingerprints to their thoughts.
At first glance, "we are all the same blood, you and I", but how many disasters in the past have been caused by this wrong assertion?! At the time of the payment, all sorts of strange medical methods used, still, operations in unsanitary conditions make the patient's condition even worse, instead of his speedy recovery. The patient is probably going to bleed to death soon, um, what are we going to do to save them?
Are we going to give them another bag of blood from the donors? Excellent! Come with it! Well, it could also have been "other" blood that could collide with the original, and the person could hardly survive after the infusion.

My condolences! Long live today's modern medicine and medical system for saving such valuable human lives, though so expensive that its exact sum is incalculable. Or perhaps...? Then how is it possible that nobles, kings, queens, presidents, and celebrities are more expensive than common people? Who determines in the "stock exchanges" that this or that man of the same flesh and blood as everyone on earth will rise or fall in price? This is precisely the hidden (or long-discovered and discussed) injustice of the world that is so close and familiar to the human being. That's the difference between a man and his blood.
We often grieve, angrily guess, feel insulted and do not understand what is going on around us. Blood puts cards on the table right away. It doesn't cheat, it doesn't pretend. If it has something to say, it's "on its tongue." It doesn't look at others through its fingers, it looks its own way, and it continues to do its job; remember, blood never betrays you, only you betray it. Be grateful to it for what it's doing for you, and love yourself and others. The best thing you can do for them is to be nice to them and give them the best they can get with a gift---your blood. Hopefully, by doing this, you'll save someone's life, perhaps just help with a routine operation. But I'm sure you'll be useful and prove your good character and that you think about others as well as yourself.

If anything ever happened to me and I were on thin ice on the line between life and death, and someone's donated blood saved my life, I'd probably be thanking God, doctors, and donors. Would I probably feel indebted to people and go donate my blood in time? Perhaps, but I'm not sure, I've never been in that situation before. But perhaps I would also shake myself back in time and think with a smirk at my foolish promises and spend the rest of my short human life carefree. Or would payback come, and I wouldn't be nearly as carefree as old age, and I'd die restless as a dog? If not in life, perhaps after death, God's mills would work against me. I really don't know what I'd do.
And that's a big difference between a man and his blood. You never know. Blood is to be expected to be preserved. What about you? Do you, with 100% certainty, know what you'd do?

ভাবনা: আটশো দশ
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I hated my parents as a child for all sorts of prohibitions, orders, and much more they imposed on me. I always thought why were they doing that? Why are they ordering us to do what we don't want to do? Is it just fear and fear, or is there more to it?

My mom always used to tell me, do it, and then do that, and don't do that... Same thing over and over again. And me? You could expect nothing but the opposite of a stubborn girl like me. I've always behaved in a way my parents don't think I should. Clean up! That didn't exist. Behave yourself! And why? Don't make up your way! To tell you the truth, I can't imagine how I would behave if I were them.
Despite this negative behaviour, I'm actually a priceless daughter. Do these two facts even go together? Yes. My excellent school record, timely homecoming, excellent behaviour... Things every parent would kiss their child for, if not suffocate in a hug. And I didn't get either of them...

Prohibitions. That's a word that almost every teenager resents. And yet it accompanies us through everyday life. Why do my parents forbid me to do many things? Do they like the stoning of my desire, the sparkle in my eyes? I used to hold this view, but over time I came to different perspectives. There are a lot of pitfalls in life today, which is why our parents forbid us to do anything just to stop us. Are they doing the right thing? I don't think so. Every person should go through every ordeal, everything and every loss, because it is the only way to gain experience in life and also to be prepared for a few things in the future.

Let's turn the page. All people have positive qualities, so there are a few in me. My single-mindedness makes me do great at school. I can't imagine the answer to any question: I DON'T KNOW. It's happened to me a few times, I'm human, but I never want to experience that strange feeling that I've experienced. It's nothing special, it's just unacceptable to me. I can't help it. I always answer questions in a few sentences, even if I don't know what's going on. And my parents? Every time I'm in front of them, they just nod or don't react. I'm sure they must be tired of the message "I got an A in history, in mathematics...". Eight years is a lot. On the other hand, if I got worse, my parents would reschedule. And that's what it follows. Of course, I'll always wear A's, even if I don't have any rewards.

My parents didn't like promoting my lifestyle at first. They thought it was just temporary, that it would go away in time. When it was a year and I was certifying myself more and more, they kind of came out and started to show interest in the whole thing. I can't say they agree with everything, but what's the point of forbidding me? I'd still find my way to it eventually. At least now I'm glad they tolerate my style, but the idea of my mom and my going out in the town, each completely different, me in arms and she as a lady, is still a long way off.
What's my position in the family? I never really thought about it. So what place does it belong to me? Usually, the young ones tend to be pampered, spoiled... But I've always been treated like a child. Why? Maybe it's because I'm acting like one. I don't know. I can't judge. But the lights of a child's amazement never flashed out of my eyes. But would they have noticed? I don't think so... my grandparents, I must admit, have always been nice to me, just as they are expected to be. And cousins? I'm a great friend to them, so I have nothing to complain about.

Punishments. I don't even know that word, I've never been abused as a child. Perhaps for my obedience. My parents used psychological punishments in the form of bans, etc. I could not afford even a small cut, the last word at all, because I would have been grounded for a whole week. I'm not saying I'm happy about it, but every experience in life is good.

So, what kind of daughter am I? I don't know what parents are like, but every child is indeed something irreplaceable to their parents. I'm trying to ease the situation and the relationship between us, and I want to get as close to them as possible. The fact that we love each other does a lot. We can be each of a completely different cloth, but we're still going to be a family.

ভাবনা: আটশো এগারো
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এক। Ending a life is easy for someone. Life just becomes unbearable for them, and they definitely can't go on. Okay, so they leave, but they don't realize they're leaving some trace, like their loved ones and their family. What are they supposed to do if someone goes to the realm of death?

I've had a few periods where I've thought about the ending. It was too much for me, but unfortunately, or thanks to God, I didn't find the courage. I was sitting on the floor holding a knife. I wanted to end it. But then I realized I wasn't alone. I have a family and my cat, Denver, I thought, what would happen to them? Would anyone take care of my cat? What about my mom, dad, sister, and brother? What would be the case with them? I figured I'd never be with them again. So I finally get off the ground and go on with my life...

Unfortunately, my friend Sajia didn't realize it and ended her life. I know how much it shook everyone. Her mom collapsed and sat in her room for weeks, not responding to anyone. She was just talking to herself. No one could help her.

After about a month, I visited her again, and she finally said she didn't feel Sajia any more. At first, I didn't understand, so she explained it to me. The whole month she was here, Sajia was with her. They were talking. But now she's gone. She's gone, and all that's left is emptiness. I didn't know what to say. I was just hoping Sajia finally found the peace and quietness she wanted.

And that's the worst part about ending your life prematurely. There's always someone left who gets hurt by the loss. The one who left doesn't feel anything any more. Unfortunately, this cannot be said of those who must continue to walk on the earth with a deep cut in their heart that will never fully heal. It hurts once, but the wound always stays there. There's nothing we can do about it. There's no cure for that. We are alive just as we have to keep going on the road through life. But we can be sure of one thing. Death will find us, and that's why we don't have to take our existence against it. Death finds everyone in the end...

দুই। The six greatest myths about marriage:

Lie #1: All you need is love

The reality is that perfect marital happiness is a myth. The unconditional love we feel for children should not exist in evaluating the peace of marriage. We live in a culture that emphasizes its own happiness above all. If we raise our children, especially our little girls, and teach them that marriage is a solution to all the problems in life and a condition for happiness, they will not realize the obstacles and difficulties of marital cohabitation.

Couples often come up with the claim that they love each other very much, they are unhappy at the same time. Is romantic love enough to make you happy? If you think so, that's a big mistake. People who think so, no longer work on relationships and are completely unprepared to solve marital problems. Therefore, it is necessary to understand the nature of marriage and learn that success in marriage needs perseverance and some strategies.

Lie #2: Even though I'm still talking, my counterpart won't listen to me
We usually talk, but we don't really listen. Although we live in a time when everyone encourages us to be open and talk about our feelings, few people can speak and listen properly. The media is full of experts who advise on how to say and how to be as honest as possible so that our partner knows how we feel and what we need. But being too honest is sometimes more of a bad thing.

John Gray's books "Men Are From Mars, Women of Venus" and Deborah Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand Me" are great examples of differences in the communication style of men and women. But the differences are not just in stylistics: communication problems stem from serious contradictions in values, interests, goals, and desires. So even when a couple tries to communicate, they often reveal big differences that need to be resolved. Improving communication skills is therefore not the solution, it is only one step towards redress.

Lie #3: People don't really change

Couples who go to counselling centres say they want to change (but more often they want the counsellor to change their counterpart, who, they say is a bad person). But many people believe that people can't change fundamentally and that nothing will change in marriage if both partners don't want to.

Unfortunately, most people try to change in the wrong way and are then frustrated with failure. Or they're afraid of any big change, so they'd rather back off than work on the change. So, if you don't know what to do, find an expert. He'll help you find the right way.

Lie #4: If I get married, I'll have a new family of my own
You can live away from your own family, but even if you have a new one after your wedding, your bond is closer than ever. When you become husbands, wives and parents, you become much more aware of close family ties.

Previously, parents lived close to their children, often in the same house. With the current lifestyle, this is no longer the case. Yet, and precisely because of this, their influence on us might be even greater. Because they are not immediately around, we are less careful about how unknowingly we act in accordance with or contrary to the way we were raised.

What is particularly remarkable is how the family where we grew up affects us, even though we said we would behave in a completely different way.

Lie #5: Children consolidate marriage

Let's just say unspoken: children are a great threat to your marriage. It is very difficult to admit that the children you love so much can drive a wedge into your marital life, especially if you get married mainly to start a family. The fact is, childcare is going to take a lot out of the little time that partners have on each other in today's rushed way of life.

No doubt you love your children, even if you thought you were ready for sleepless nights or constantly worrying about them, this devotion is disrupting your marriage. Simply put: to save a marriage, not always your children should come first.

Lie #6: Sexual revolution makes it easier to have great sex

The veil of mystery that always surrounded sex was torn down. The market is overstated with publications on how best to please your partner. Magazines and internet resources offer effective tricks to seduce a partner or bring them to orgasm. Sex is also talked about on various talk shows. Life around us is trembling with pictures of people enjoying great sex all the time.

Then why isn't that the case in your bed? It's because you two are never completely alone out there. In your head, it "haunts" the knowledge that everyone around you is enjoying it. And paradoxically, it's harder for you because you want to enjoy it just as nicely. At the same time, you are worried about work, children, or unpaid payments. All of this affects you, and so sex just isn't — and doesn't have to be — so tremendously wonderful every time. Forget this duty, and you'll see it'll be easier for you to live. Rather try to learn the techniques that would make it an awesome experience. Great sex is an art, be that artist!

ভাবনা: আটশো বারো
………………………………………………………

এক। কোভিড-নাইনটিনের টিকা সম্পর্কে যে ১০টি তথ্য আপনাকে কখনও জানতেই দেওয়া হয়নি:

১. আপনার নিউজফিডে এমন অনেকেই আছেন, যাঁরা আপনার কাছ থেকে অনুমতি না নিয়েই টিকা নিয়ে ফেলেছেন, এমনকি আপনাকে জানানোর প্রয়োজন পর্যন্ত মনে করেননি! (সত্যিই বিস্মিত হই ওঁদের মূঢ়তা ও আস্পর্ধা দেখে!)

২. টিকা নেবার সময় ছবি না তুললেও টিকার কার্যকারিতা কমে যায় বলে এখন পর্যন্ত কোনও বৈজ্ঞানিক তথ্যপ্রমাণ মেলেনি! (আপনার টিকা-সংক্রান্ত ছবি দেখার জন্য কিংবা মূল্যবান দালিলিক প্রমাণাদি সংগ্রহের জন্য এই বিশ্বব্রহ্মাণ্ডের কোথাও কেউ প্রতীক্ষায় নেই!)

৩. আপনার থলথলে শরীরটাকে অর্ধনাঙা অবস্থায় দেখেও আমার মতো অনেকেরই বিশেষ কোনও 'ইন্দ্রিয়গ্রাহ্য' লাভ হয়নি! (হায়, জনগণ যা দেখতে চায়, তা আপনার কোথাও নাই...কোথাও নাই!)

৪. বাস্তবে টিকাদান-কেন্দ্রে মানুষের ভিড় ফেইসবুকে টিকাপ্রাপ্তদের ভিড়ের কয়েক গুণ! (অবিশ্বাস্য মনে হলেও সত্যি, ফেইসবুকের বাইরের দুনিয়াটা আজও অপেক্ষাকৃত বড়ো!)

৫. জ্বর, মাথাব্যথা, গায়ে-ব্যথা, বমি বমি ভাব---এসবের কোনওটিই অনুভব করেননি যাঁরা, তাঁরাও টিকা নিয়েছেন! (সকালে টিকা নিয়ে সারাদিন চেষ্টা করেও হাতের পেশির সেই জায়গাতেও বিন্দুমাত্র ব্যথা অনুভব করাতে পারেননি, এমন মানুষও ফেইসবুকে আছেন!)

৬. আপনি টিকা নেবেনই না, এমন ঘোষণাকে দুইপয়সারও দাম না দিয়ে আপনার ফ্রেন্ডলিস্টের অনেকেই টিকা নিয়ে ফেলেছেন! (নির্বোধরা দুধ দিয়ে কালসাপ পোষে, আর আপনি কিনা পুষে চলেছেন এমন মহামূল্যবান সব স্ট্যাটাস দিয়ে কালসাথি!)

৭. আপনি এই দুইসেকেন্ডের টিকাদানে শামিল হয়ে এমন কিছু করে ফেলতে পারেননি, যা মানুষের ইতিহাসে আপনিই প্রথম করে দেখালেন! (বিশ্বাস করুন আর না-ই করুন, আপনার মতন রকেট-সায়েন্টিস্ট রাস্তাঘাটে, পাবলিক-টয়লেটে, পান-বিড়ির দোকানের পাশে ভূরি ভূরি!)

৮. আপনার অক্লান্ত গবেষণালব্ধ টিকাবিরোধী ফেইসবুক পোস্টের বক্তব্যকে সমর্থন করে যাচ্ছেন যাঁরা, তাঁদের অনেকেরই টিকা নেওয়া শেষ! (মানুষ আর মানুষ নাই---আপনিই বলেন, এই দুনিয়ায় কাকে বিশ্বাস করে বেঁচে আছেন!)

৯. টিকা নেওয়ার চেয়ে সোজা কাজ এই পৃথিবীতে খুব বেশি নেই, যা কিনা সবাইকে 'বিশ্বাস না হলে দেখুন ছবিসহ' স্টাইলে দেখিয়ে-টেখিয়ে আপনি বিশ্বাস করে ফেলেছিলেন, একজীবনে এমন একটা সচিত্র টিকার্জন সবার ভাগ্যে জোটে না! (যদিও টিকাদান-কেন্দ্রের ফ্লোরে আপনার সদম্ভ পদধূলি-অর্পণের কাছে চাঁদের মাটিতে নিল আর্মস্ট্রংয়ের সকম্পিত ঠ্যাং-রাখা নেহায়েতই নিষ্প্রভ!)

১০. আপনি টিকা নিলেন কি নিলেন না, তা দিয়ে কারও কিচ্ছু এসে যায় না! (মানুষ কী খারাপের খারাপ, আপনার মতন একজন প্রাতঃস্মরণীয় ব্যক্তি 'অদ্যাবধি' টিকা না নেওয়া সত্ত্বেও সমস্ত বিবেকবোধ বিসর্জন দিয়ে সামান্য তুচ্ছ অকিঞ্চিৎকর মাতৃদত্ত জীবনখানি বাঁচানোর লোভ সামলাতে না পেরে দুড়ুম দুড়ুম টিকা নিয়ে ফেলছে, ভাবা যায়!)

শেষ করছি একখান 'প্রেমিকা চাই' বিজ্ঞাপন নিবেদন করে...

টিকার লাইনে নাম লিখিয়েও
দেখো, দিব্যিই আছি ফাইন!
তোমার জন্যই তো এত কিছু,
আমার হও না ভ্যালেন্টাইন!

দুই। Love can exist without sex, as well as (random) sex without love.
Loving someone is something else. I guess it's hard to turn your whole brain and chemistry from friendship to love after the first sex. You can also have sex without love. It's obvious that love, friendship and sex are three different things. Therefore, you can have any combination.
I would say without embarrassment to some of my dear friends that I love them. Sure, it may be a bit of a word game, but for me, the content of the word "love" doesn't necessarily complicate an erotic-love relationship.

For example, I love my child, and erotica is not really in it. For me, "love" is when something "trembles" in a person at the thought of that person, I don't know how to put it... but perhaps one could speak of a feeling of deep affinity, understanding, even gratitude that we have been given to know this man.

However, I admit that I may need to be taken a little with a grain of time in this regard, because (as I am astonished to find out again and again) I am probably a very emotional individual.

Love is independent of sex. I mean, I don't think if you don't have sex with someone, you can't love them, but it's not the same as friendship.

তিন। শুনছ? কাল তো ভালোবাসা দিবস...আচ্ছা, ভালোবাসা দিবসে অন্তত এই প্রমিজটুকু তো করাই যায়: আমরা যতদিন বাঁচব, ততদিন দুইজন দুইজনের কিছু কিছু বিষয় সহ্য করব। এই যেমন ধরো, আমি তোমাকে পাবো না জেনেও এত যে জ্বালাই, এটা তুমি সহ্য করবে, কখনও আমাকে কঠিন কঠিন কথা বলে দুঃখ দেবে না। তার বদলে তুমি আমাকে পাবে না জেনেই এত যে অবহেলা করো, আমিও এটা সহ্য করব, দুঃখের সমুদ্রে ডুবে গেলেও তোমাকে কিছুই বলব না। কী, পারবে না এই সামান্য প্রমিজটা করতে?

চার। এত কাব্য, এত বাহানা, এত তামাশা করেও যাকে ভালোবাসা বোঝানো যায় না, এত কিছুর পরেও যার মন গলে না, কিছুতেই তার কাছে আমার যে কোনও জায়গা নেই, ছিল না কোনও দিনই, এটা বুঝতে এত সাত-পাঁচ হিসেব করতে হয় না।

মাঝে মাঝে আমি যখন তোমাকে আমার লেখা চিঠি কিংবা কবিতাগুলো পড়ি, তখন নিজের অজান্তেই চোখ ভিজে যায়। মনে হয়, আর কীভাবে বোঝালে কিংবা কী বললে, কী কী দিয়ে বোঝালে তোমাকে আমার এই ভেতরের অবস্থাটা বোঝাতে পারতাম? সত্যিই আমার জানা নেই, এভাবে করে কেউ কোনও দিন আমাকে ভালোবাসলে আমি তাকে রিফিউজ করতে পারতাম কি না! ভালোবাসলে আর কী করতে হয় অথবা কীভাবে ভালোবাসলে ঠিক ভালোবাসা হয়, তা জানতেই পারলাম না আজও! আসলেই আমি কিছুই পারলাম না এ জীবনে!

তোমার খুব ভালো লাগে, তাই না? একটা মেয়ে তোমার পেছনে কুকুরের মতো ঘুরছে। তুমি যতই তাকে ইগনোর করছ, ততই সে তোমাকে চাইছে...এসব দেখতে ভীষণ মজা হচ্ছে তোমার, তাই না? তা এসবই যদি করবে, তাহলে একটা ধনীঘরের সুন্দরী রূপসীর সাথে করলেই পারতে! সেটাই বরং তোমার সঙ্গে মানিয়ে যেত। আমার মতো এমন থার্ডক্লাস ঘরের থার্ডক্লাস মেয়ের সঙ্গে এমন করলে তোমার সাথে যায় না। সরাসরি কথা বলতে শেখো। আমাকে ঝুলিয়ে কেন রাখছ তুমি? সোজা একটা কথা বলে দিতে পারো না তুমি? তুই একটা স্টুপিড!

খুব মনে পড়ছে আপনাকে...

অনন্তকাল চুপ করে থাকার প্রতিজ্ঞা করেছ তো? থাকো। সারাজীবন চুপ করে থাকো। আর কোনও দিন কথা বলতে হবে না। আর কোনও দিন ফোন দিয়ো না। নিজের থেকে কোনও দিন একটা মেসেজও কোরো না আর। তোমার সময় কই এত অকাজের! স্যালুট তোমাকে!
তোমার সাথে আমার এখন আর কোনও সম্পর্কই নেই, তাই না?!
এভাবে কষ্ট দিচ্ছ আমাকে! দাও, আরও বেশি করে দিতে থাকো।
কোনও কিছু না-থাকাতে এখন আর কোনও ভয় করে না আমার। কেউ পাত্তা না দিলেও কিছু এসে যায় না। কেউ যত্ন না নিলে, কেউ সাথে না থাকলে, কেউ কথা বা বললে, কেউ কোনওভাবেই জড়িয়ে না থাকলে, কোনও কিছু নিয়েই আর ভয় পাই না আমি। কী হয় ভালোবাসা না থাকলে? কী হয় সারাজীবনই যদি একা থাকি, ভালোবাসার, যত্ন নেওয়ার, খোঁজ নেওয়ার কেউই না থাকে যদি? যদি ভালোবাসা নামের শব্দটিকেই জীবন থেকে মুছে ফেলি...তো? জানিই যদি এমন কোনও শব্দ নেই, এমন কোনও অনুভূতি নেই, তাহলে এই বোধ, হারানোর ভয়, বোঝা, আক্ষেপ কোথা থেকে আসবে আর?
ভালোবাসবে না? ঠিক আছে, বেসো না। কাছে আসবে না? ঠিক আছে, আসতে হবে না। কথা বলবে না? ঠিক আছে, বলতে চাইবও না। কী হয় জীবনে কিছুই না থাকলে? এমনকি এই জীবনটাও যদি শূন্য হয়ে, শেষ হয়ে যায়! কী হবে যা-কিছু নিজের মনে করি অথবা যা আছে বলে জানি, সেসবের কিছুই না থাকলে? কিছুই এসে যায় না। কোনও কিছু হারানোর বিন্দুমাত্র ভয় এখন আর পাই না। সব কিছু স্রোতের মতো চলে যাক জীবন থেকে। সব কিছু চলে গেলেও কী এসে যায়?

ভালো থাকা কী? সব কিছুকে আঁকড়ে, শক্ত করে নিজের মুঠোয় ধরে রাখা? এমন ভালো থাকা আমার আর চাই না। কোনও কিছুই আর শক্ত করে, জড়োসড়ো করে ধরে রাখতে যাব না। সব নিয়ে চলে যাও যেদিক খুশি। আমি শূন্য পড়ে থাকব। সব কিছু যেতে যেতে আর কী থাকবে হারাবার মতো? এই জীবনটাই তো? তা-ও চলে যাক, জীবনটাকে আর শক্ত করে নিজের কাছে রাখব না। সব কিছু শেষ হয়ে যায় তো যাক। যাকে ভালোবাসা বলে জানি, সেটাই কি ভালোবাসা? যদি ভালোবাসাই হতো, তাহলে তাকে এত চেষ্টা করে আটকে রাখতে, বেঁধে রাখতে হতো? জীবনকে আমি চেষ্টা করেও ছুড়ে ফেলতে পারিনি। তাহলে যাকে ভালোবাসা বলে জানি, তাকেই-বা শক্ত করে ধরে রাখতে যাব কেন? যদি সত্যিই এটা ভালোবাসা হয়, তাহলে আমি না চাইলেও তা থেকে যাবে, আর যদি না থাকে এখানে ভালোবাসার লেশমাত্রও, তাহলে আমি আটকাতে কেন যাব তাকে? কেননা আমি যাকে ভালোবাসা ভেবে শক্ত করে আটকে রাখতে আর নিজের কাছে রেখে দিতে চাইছি, তা হয়তো ভালোবাসাই না। যদি ভালোবাসা হতো, তাহলে জীবন যেমন আছে তেমনই থেকে যেত। ভালোবাসা নিশ্চয়ই কিছু স্বাভাবিকতার দাবিও রাখে।

যে জীবন থেকে জীবনটাকেই ছুড়ে ফেলা যায় না, তার কাছে সব কিছু ধরে রাখতে চাওয়া সত্যিই অর্থহীন।

পাঁচ। তোমার আমার হোক না কথা ভালোবাসার প্রতিটি প্রহরে,
তোমার আমার হোক না থাকা ভালোবাসার প্রতিটি শহরে!

ছয়। The child is the beauty of the marriage. In all other aspects, it's ugly.

সাত। : তুমি আমাকে সবসময়ই এত ভুল বোঝো কেন?

: অন্য কাউকে নিয়ে ভাববার বা বুঝবার বিন্দুমাত্র ইচ্ছে আর সময় নেই আমার। তাই ভুল কি ঠিক, সবকিছুই আপনার উপর দিয়েই যায়।

আট। তুমি নষ্ট হয়ে কষ্ট ভুলে ভালোই তো আছো!
তুমি আর জানবে কী করে...নষ্ট হতে না-পারার কষ্ট বুকে নিয়ে একটা মানুষ প্রতিরাতই কতটা ঘুমহীন হয়ে জেগে কাটায়!