When Someone Doesn't Want to Talk

Don't force conversation on someone who doesn't want to talk to you. Even if they're the closest person in your world, there's no point in calling them over and over again. The one you still consider close may no longer think of you as someone close to them. The one you hold dear may no longer hold you dear. People change—accept it. Accept this change and transform yourself as well. Forced intimacy isn't love—it's violation. Forced affection isn't love—it's acting. When love no longer flows from their heart toward you, trying to force them to accept your love is the height of foolishness.

Don't lose your self-respect to someone who has already made you lose your place in their life. If that goes too, what's left of a person? When your call keeps flashing on their phone, they're probably thinking, "How annoying! How annoying!" While you may not control becoming unwanted, you can absolutely control not becoming a nuisance. There are close people, but no such thing as lifelong people. There are close friends, but no such thing as lifelong friends. You can't force someone to be your lifelong person. Trying to do so only means poisoning your own life.

Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. Trying to force your way into someone's list of preferences means selling your self-worth to them. Why must you force conversation with someone whose day passes perfectly well without speaking to you? This isn't called love, it isn't called attraction—it's called being pathetic. It's wonderful that you love them, but does that mean they must love you back? Love is such that it doesn't have to be a two-way reaction. Just because they loved you once, must they love you forever? By the way, did they really love you before? Are you sure? Let's say yes, they did love you. Does that mean they must love you for life? You might say, "True love never dies." How do you know their love was true?

Persistently calling someone who doesn't want to answer your calls isn't love—it's a lack of common sense. When someone blocks you, getting a new SIM card to call them from there is just pointless nonsense. What's the point of such foolishness with someone who keeps blocking you, someone so annoyed by you? If your heart gets too restless, grab it and give it a good slap. Slap it hard enough to knock out all its teeth. Why this tug-of-war with someone who no longer wants to stay? Go completely silent. Don't talk to anyone, don't do anything frivolous except sleeping, reading, watching movies—turn off your phone and throw it far away. This complete silence works well in two situations: when you're angry and when you're agitated. If you don't believe it, try it.

Someone who once loved you now doesn't give you the time of day. What does this mean? Surely their love had some self-interest or condition attached. Interest fulfilled, person vanished! You don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand this simple thing. Think with a cool head, you'll find your answer. It's also possible they still love you, but due to your torment or some circumstance, they no longer want to maintain the relationship. They don't want to stay anymore. Someone's wish alone is enough to determine whether they'll keep a relationship or not! Trying to force them to stay only means diminishing your dignity in their eyes.

Don't cry yourself blind over the wrong person. Perhaps those very eyes are deeply precious to someone who deserves you. Keep yourself well for that person. Women ignore the one who sees them as queens, yet they chase after the one who treats them worse than servants. The same behavior is seen among men. I think people are actually born to experience certain sorrows—sorrows they create and nurture themselves.

Yes, if it were such that by diminishing your dignity before your beloved, you could turn their heart or mind back toward you, then there would be something to it. If not, let them be well in their own way. Find your own wisdom for being well too. Can't find the wisdom? How can wisdom emerge when you've spent all day thinking about the wrong person and driving yourself crazy? Feeling mad because they left? Look into it—they're probably telling people, "Look, look! How crazy they've become over me!" A person who tries so hard yet can't become dear in someone's eyes becomes mad in those eyes, and then becomes a fool in everyone else's eyes.

Just because you made a mistake in knowing someone, must you spend your entire life making mistakes? Rather, you're fortunate that before it was too late, you managed to distance yourself from someone who doesn't value your emotions. Someone who doesn't value your emotions doesn't deserve to be the person of your heart. Today you learned that they've been playing with your emotions all this time. What are you doing after knowing this? Making your emotions even more of a plaything, even cheaper in the hands of such a person! They had their fun before, they're having their fun now! Who's responsible for this? You, you, you!

You raised a dog. That dog didn't leave you even when it saw more food and comfort in another house.
You raised a human. That human left you even without seeing more food and comfort in another house.
Think about it—your person's mental position is even lower than a dog's! For such a person, this day-and-night crying you're doing—where does that put your own position?