To Recognize a True Friend True friendship is one of life's most precious gifts, yet recognizing a genuine friend can be challenging. In a world filled with superficial connections and fleeting relationships, the ability to discern authentic friendship becomes an essential skill for navigating human relationships. A true friend reveals themselves not in moments of celebration, but in times of difficulty. When life presents its inevitable challenges, fair-weather companions tend to disappear, while genuine friends step closer. They don't offer empty platitudes or quick fixes, but rather their steady presence and unwavering support. Their loyalty isn't conditional on your success, status, or ability to entertain them. Look for consistency in their character. A real friend maintains the same warmth and respect whether you're together in private or in a crowd. They don't change their behavior based on who else is present or what they might gain from the association. Their friendship isn't a performance but an authentic expression of care and connection. True friends possess the courage to speak difficult truths when necessary. While they celebrate your successes and support your dreams, they also have the integrity to point out when you're making mistakes or heading down a harmful path. This honesty comes from love, not judgment, and is offered with the genuine desire to see you grow and flourish. Perhaps most importantly, authentic friendship is marked by reciprocity and balance. It flows naturally in both directions, with each person giving and receiving support, understanding, and joy. Neither party keeps score, yet both contribute meaningfully to the relationship's depth and durability. In recognizing true friendship, trust your instincts. Genuine connections create a sense of ease and acceptance where you can be your authentic self without fear of judgment or rejection. These relationships stand the test of time precisely because they're built on a foundation of mutual respect, shared values, and unconditional care.

Once in this life I fell into great trouble, enormous trouble! I could have been destroyed, could have lost my job. Through tremendous mental strength and constant struggle, I saved myself. That's when I learned to recognize people. Our troubles help us recognize people—who are the necessary ones in our lives, and who are utterly unnecessary. This recognition comes easily. Anyone who has never faced great adversity still has a long way to go before understanding people.

So that terrible state I was in back then—it helped me greatly in recognizing people. How does one recognize people? Let me answer this through a story! Take this situation: I'm alive now, and I can see many people around me with my eyes! They will flatter me, they will praise me, because my eyes can see them, my feelings can understand them. So they will speak well of me, they will stay around me, they will tell me many things.

If I die, then I won't be called "I" anymore! Then I'll become a corpse! I'll be called that then—a corpse or dead body, whatever you prefer. A corpse has no feelings, a corpse cannot see with its eyes! Then I won't be able to see who comes to my side or doesn't. Then I won't be able to hear who speaks a few kind words about me or doesn't. Then I won't be able to understand who stays by my side or doesn't.

Until that point, people come to my side to please me, to make me understand that they're with me, or for some self-interest or some reason or out of shame. But no one in this world feels any shame before a corpse, no one has any self-interest with a corpse, no one has anything at all with a corpse. Forget showing respect—it's perfectly fine not to stand beside a corpse!

If I die right now, it's fine not to come to my side, fine not to stand by me; yet still, some people will come. Some people will carry my corpse on their shoulders to the crematorium, some people will cry for me, some people will shed tears for me every year on my death anniversary.

Close your eyes for a moment and think—after your death, who will come and stand by you, who will carry your corpse to the crematorium? You'll be amazed, those of you reading this—you'll be amazed to discover that if you search for such people, you'll find at most three or four. Maximum five, six, seven—you won't find more than that, people who will weep uncontrollably at the sight of your corpse for no worldly reason.

You may have a million friends and followers on Facebook, but when you're in extreme danger, you won't find anyone who will genuinely stand by you from the heart. During my own extreme crisis, I found almost no one by my side, though I had many followers and so-called well-wishers then. I had my previous account, where these so-called well-wishers swarmed! My current account isn't very bustling, but the previous one was quite lively. That account got disabled—permanently disabled as the sole life achievement of some overzealous swine. I had many followers there, over two and a half lakh super-active followers! Note: on my account, not a page! Having two and a half lakh followers on an account is tough. At that time in Bangladesh, barely one or two people had more followers than me.

You won't believe it—when I was in trouble, I couldn't find even three people from those two and a half lakh to stand by me! Really couldn't! Most of those whom I had helped day after day without money or self-interest remained silent then; some even caused me extreme harm. And the funny thing is, many of those who stood by me then were people I didn't even know before!

I have a friend named Rubel. I would never have known in my life how much he loves me if I hadn't fallen into trouble! I didn't even know he was such a good friend! He endangered his own life for me, he wanted to leave everything behind and stay by my side. I had never considered such an angelic person as someone close to me! So the concept of "close people" is always confusing! The funniest joke to me is: "Brother, I love you so much!"

This is why I tell you—if you die now, close your eyes and think about who will come and stand by you. They are the most necessary people for you. They are your friends. There's no need to give anyone else space in your mind. Those who studied with you aren't all friends—they're simply classmates! Most of us mistake classmates for friends! We use the word "friend" when talking about classmates. This is truly a foolish mistake! Classmate and friend are different things. The person who will stay by your side even after death—that's a friend.

Think about it—who will stay with you after your death! In your most dangerous moment, when it doesn't matter whether anyone stands by you or not, you'll find how many! When I was in trouble, no one knew whether Sushanta Pal's job would survive; everyone thought the job might be lost! Then Sushanta Pal would disappear! That's what was in everyone's mind. That is, standing by me then wouldn't benefit anyone, wouldn't help anyone in any way—I wouldn't be useful to anyone! Many had boundless joy in their hearts then!

Still, those who stood by me without expecting anything, simply because they loved me—I can never forget them until death. They are my friends. Everyone else is simply an acquaintance. There's a difference between friends and acquaintances. Almost everyone I know is an acquaintance, but not a friend. Those who are merely acquaintances—not friends—the less space we give them in life, the better.

When I eat something good, I remember my friends. I think, "Ah, I could have fed them something! Could have given them a couple of pieces!" When I eat sweets, I think I could have given a piece to a friend! After a good meal, I think, "If only I could have given this to them!" This is how I feel. And I tell you all—if you do this small mind-exercise, you'll easily know who your friends are and who aren't. And you can be certain that those who didn't stand by you once in trouble won't be there in your next crisis either—they won't stand by you. This is the rule! This is the rule! This is the rule! Yes, this is what I've observed. A person who doesn't stand by you in your troubled days—their praise or criticism truly doesn't matter to you. I don't think there's any need to even look back at someone who saves themselves when you're in trouble.

So those whom you keep calling friends aren't all your friends. Those whom you joyfully call close people aren't all close to you. If you just close your eyes, you'll see almost none of them are anywhere! Among them, the one or two who exist—never let them go! Whatever comes into your life, place them on the pedestal of gods, worship them on that pedestal! They mean so much to you! Even if they scold you harshly, even if they treat you badly, even if they speak ill of you—still love them blindly. It's better to receive a slap from the right person than a salute from the wrong one. They deserve it, because when you were dying, drowning, they stood by you. When you were in extreme trouble, they were there. Never forget them. Give them everything you have. There's great joy in this. You'll find a kind of happiness in living.

The most joyful thing in this world is knowing how to be grateful. Learn to be grateful. You'll see how good it feels! Better to be a grateful dog licking feet than an ungrateful lion roaring—it's more honorable and peaceful.