Three or Four Extra Songs

I've stripped away everything from life that isn't necessary. Like this: unnecessary shopping, unnecessary gift-giving or receiving, extra rice and fish, biryani or alcohol. I've cut away friendships beyond what's needful too, because when you try to give time to too many friends, it stops being friendship and becomes nothing but a cage.

Excess gossip, excess television, wandering from one neighborhood to another, unnecessary joy or forced merriment, depending on someone or letting someone depend on me, judging others or shrinking from the fear of being judged, worrying about what people might say or needlessly occupying people's minds with what I say—I've let all of it go.

I couldn't do it all at once. No one can. But slowly, I managed. I can't quite reconcile my old self with who I am now. I think: Is this really me? According to my neighbors and friends, and even by my own reckoning after careful thought, I seemed to be growing old. These prunings from life—they looked like the signs of aging. But when I realized the difference in confidence between my old self and my new self, the wisdom I've gained, the commonness, the positive attitude, the acceptance, the patience, the thrill of learning something new, the ability to celebrate the smallest of things—such enormous gains—then it struck me: by discarding the unnecessary, I've actually found myself.

I don't need to be happy, don't need to be well, don't need to avoid trouble or bear pressure. I don't have to lie. Instead of wasting money and time buying unnecessary saris and jewelry, I can put that toward productive work or helping others. Because I don't judge anyone, I'm spared the burden of worrying about others' judgments—time I can spend listening to three or four extra songs instead. Ha ha ha.

Without excess gossip with friends and wine, life once seemed utterly hollow. Whether the addiction was wine or endless chatter, I'm dependent on nothing now. To celebrate joy or sorrow, I no longer need alcohol.

I've learned that to find happiness in life, you must know how to hold on to things, how to play pretend, how to move in step even against your will. But to truly enjoy life, to live deeply, to connect with your own soul—for that, you need only to know how to let go.