Thoughts in Bonsai: Twenty

1. This night, this solitude, this memory—
I love them all, because
right now I'm feeling quite sleepy.

2. Why do you think
I only compete with God?
There could be friendship too!

3. Everyone knows I'm mad,
that's why I can get away with such madness!

4. Why is the sky weeping so?
Who touched it today?
Or is it because no one touched it at all…

5. Why do you ask for the body?
I wanted to be a queen,
not a beggar!

6. Even anguish has its limits!
Yet your memory knows no bounds!

7. How do I sleep at night!
Close my eyes and you come in dreams!
Open them and you float in the sky!

8. Either stay together,
or part ways completely!
How much longer must I
keep house with your mother-in-law!

9. What friendship this is
between your dreams and my sleep!
Both rise and sit up together!

10. People search and still can't find a job!
And here I am, unable to quit
this job of thinking about you, even when I want to!

11. How many more installments of suffering
before the installments of your memory run out?

12. Take good care of yourself.
I've learned to accept that I won't have you.
I still haven't learned to accept that you're not well!

13. I didn't get you—no sorrow in that.
The only sorrow is this:
I didn't get the responsibility of keeping you well!

14. What a world this is!
Stay quiet and everyone asks,
What's your sorrow about?
Smile a little and…
the very same people say,
What happened? Why are you laughing?

15. After seeing you I didn't lose myself,
rather I was born again!

16. Why did you come?
I was fine before!
Why do you stay?
I live in anguish now!

17. Because I found you,
today I live as my heart desires!

18. The one who saw the wealth in me
that no one else did—
that's who I call beloved!

19. Why should I fear?
What's there to fear from someone
who gives up all claims!?

20. Many touch the body;
fortune belongs only to the one
who touches the heart!