Thoughts in Bonsai: Thirty-Five

1. What I will never have in the rest of my life—
   apart from that one thing, I have nothing else to live the rest of my life with!

2. Those I must live among
   are the very ones from whom I must keep hiding!
   Tell me, where else have you seen such a helpless thief?

3. One who came to you knowing full well he'd be punished—
   and you threaten him with rewards!?

4. They ask me,
   what is all this sorrow of yours?
   Fools! If I could recognize sorrow, would I let it stay?

5. I didn't need you to live,
   you made me feel the need.
   Today, that very you says you don't need me!

6. What manner of thief did I fall in love with—
   I have nothing left to call my own!

7. O God! Send good news sometimes too!
   Otherwise, how will I know you exist at all!

8. You question my love?
   In old age, when everyone turns you away,
   find out the answer then!

9. I ask for your time in only two moments:
   when you give it,
   and when you don't.

10. Don't you believe in karma?
    This—that you found me only to lose me—
    what is this then!?

11. Why do you laugh so much these days?
    What great sorrow is yours?

12. Today I cry purely for myself.
    Only by crying myself to exhaustion do I fall asleep—
    how else would sleep come!

13. What's broken is broken!
    Don't come back to mend the broken bridge.
    Why do you want to return?
    You still have places to go!

14. Who?...who's knocking?
    Go away!
    You won't get much pleasure killing a dead man!

15. It's because I couldn't have you
    that I keep you so close in poetry!
    Could I have kept you this close if I'd had you!?

16. I didn't know life required so much doing!
    I didn't know life was so vast!
    You left, and now why must I learn all this!

17. No no, I'm not angry!
    If I were angry, I could bear it!
    What's the point of holding on to someone
    who can act like this!
    Why be angry with someone you won't keep anyway!

18. Come, let's separate!
    At least then maybe love will grow a little!

19. Loving you was wrong—I didn't understand.
    Your love was wrong—I didn't understand!

20. You called me an idle beggar!
    Just once, only once,
    if you came before me as a different person,
    you'd see I am that busy king
    who doesn't even have time to behead people like you!