: Many people enter same-batch relationships, spending their entire university life together. After a while, you see the commitment becoming quite shaky. With better-established boys and family pressures as excuses, the girl who held his hand all this while lets go and walks away just when the boy is trying to get his career together. Needless to say, the boy is utterly devastated mentally at this point. Now, how do you evaluate these incidents? Couldn't the girl have managed her family and stayed by the boy's side, just as she had continued the relationship through various ups and downs? What do you have to say about this?
: Where does all this emotion of yours come from, brother? Who are you to decide what a person should or shouldn't do? Is life theirs? Or is it yours?...Life is theirs!
The one who told you they couldn't live without you is living just fine without you. That means they were lying then. Where do you find so much time to think about a liar? They told you they would marry only you, that they wouldn't be happy in life without you. Now look what's happened—exactly the opposite!
Now let me come to the real point. Because you couldn't achieve anything in life or couldn't reach as far as their family expected, they moved away from that decision and married someone else. Where do you find time to think about such a liar, such a worthless person? They were committed to you, but couldn't keep that commitment. A person who can't keep commitments doesn't even qualify as human!
Why do you have time to think about a subhuman, brother? Don't you have work? Why are you so aimless, brother? What's the problem, brother? Do you really have no work? They told you that you couldn't do such-and-such work, that's why they didn't marry you. You fool, why don't you show them what they would have gotten by marrying you! Become ten times more successful than the boy they married and show them what a wonderful person they would have had.
Don't you even have this much sense? Don't you even have this much stubbornness in you? Why not? Aren't you human? Don't you have brains? Don't you have any sense in your head? Why are you like this, brother? Why are you such a fool, brother? You could say you were with them for a long time, you were happy with them for all that time. Well, why are you so selfish, brother? You were happy for so long—don't you have any gratitude for that happiness?
Were you alone in that happiness? They were there too—you two were happy together. Now, you two were happy together; one of you is thinking, I can't be happy here anymore. I don't need to stay happy anymore, I'll be happy with someone else now. If you truly loved them, let them be happy in their own way! What's the problem?
You're unhappy? You're in pain? Your pain isn't causing them any pain! You have to understand this! Since your pain isn't causing them any pain, accepting that is your duty, your responsibility. During your time alive in this world, you can think about many things...this should have happened, this shouldn't have happened, this ought to have been, this ought not to have been, and so on. Well, will the world move according to your thoughts? What's happening in the world is happening anyway. Whether you want it or not, it's happening!
You saw it right before your eyes—they walked away right in front of you. They left you and walked away right before your eyes, which means that person doesn't care about you. Why should you let your emotions become cheap for someone who doesn't value your emotions?
If there's one precious thing in this world, it's your emotions! Nothing more precious than your emotions has ever been created in this world! And you're wasting that precious thing on a...a worthless person?! You're wasting your emotions on someone who has no need for you in their life?! Why, man? What's the problem? I don't understand! What did they want? For you to be successful, for you to be established...things like that, right? That's why they left you and went away?
If human blood flows through your body, then show them! Show them that if they had stayed with you, they would have lived with an established person! If you can't achieve anything in life, then even five years from now they'll think what happened was for the best; staying with you would have meant struggling for food and clothes, staying with you wouldn't have given this or that, no car, no house, blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...! Then you would have lost, they would have won!
Come on, show them, brother, that marrying you would have given them everything in life! Show them that they were wrong, that they made a mistake in understanding you. I showed them, I proved them wrong! If I couldn't do this work, I wouldn't have had the moral courage to talk so much in front of you all. Yes, I showed them very well indeed!
I tell you, do the work, brother! The person you were good with, the person you loved—pray that they stay well. When that person is well, offer gratitude. That person may be well with someone else, but what's more important than that is—the person is well, isn't they! I think that if the person I love stays as well with me as they do with someone else, but if they'd be even better with someone else, then instead of staying with me, let them stay with that other person! As much as I want them to stay with me, I want much more that they truly be well—wherever they may be!
If you truly love that person, then you should have that much good wishes within you! Don't hope to have the person you love. What you can do for them is wish them well, pray for them, raise both hands in prayer...nothing more than that.
When we love...let's remember there's a difference between love and keeping a dog, brother! When you keep a dog, the dog stays with you, but when you love, that beloved person might not stay with you. Those who believe in the theory that when you love, the beloved must stay with you—instead of falling in love, they should keep a dog! That's much better, the dog will stay with you for life. But humans are not dogs!
Remember, the person who left you may not have wanted to go, but couldn't go against their family's wishes. They were forced by circumstantial pressure. They are victims of circumstances. They had no choice. They married another boy. For their father, for their mother, for their brother...whatever it is! Show their parents and siblings that their daughter would have been well even if they had married her to you! Show them, if you have the courage! Don't you even have this much stubbornness? Why shouldn't you have it? Why?
What does world history say? Does the person who loves get the one they love? Come on, brother, about ninety-six percent of love affairs end in breakups! Look into it and see—breakup is the only destination of almost all love stories. The marriages people have are almost all between someone's ex-boyfriend and someone's ex-girlfriend. Think about it—those who are having love affairs, each of them thought that only death could separate them, nothing else could. But what happened? Death didn't separate them at all—one scolding from father did the job!
Father scolded you: "You can't marry her—she does nothing, just flits around aimlessly, babbling about this and that, she has nothing to offer...nonsense!" A father's rebuke can tear apart what you're dwelling on so deeply—are you some kind of fool? I don't understand what this thing even is! Why all this endless, endless love, brother? Love is...fine, it's good; love and affection are beautiful things! You were happy with her, weren't you, brother! You had good times together—be grateful for that.
Was she the only one who was happy? You were happy too. You tell her, "Yes, you were so good with me, I kept you so well." Stop right there! Stop it! How shameless! How selfish! Didn't she keep you happy too? If she hadn't kept you happy, would you have been keeping her happy all by yourself? Does that even make sense, brother? She kept you happy too. Why are you forgetting that she kept you happy! She can't keep you happy now—she's keeping someone else happy now. If you truly love her, pray for her, wish her well. The person she's found—wish him health, wish him a long life. If she's happy, that person will be happy too.
You can do this if you're a true lover. But if you're not a true lover, if you can't really love, then you'll tear your hair out. You'll want her to die, to suffer, to be ruined, to be destroyed! You know, these are the roles of losers—this is what losers do. Winners never do such things. Show that the reason you couldn't have that person—show that reason was false. The person you loved—wish her well, keep her in your good thoughts, want the best for her. That she's well is what matters; that she isn't yours doesn't matter much.
You can't be so selfish in love. Believe me, brother, all this talking I'm doing—my life's story is pretty much the same. I've seen many people in my life; I've watched many of my friends, and their life stories are like this too. The pain you're in—believe me, you're not alone in this pain, we're all here with you. There was a time I thought, what's the point of living? When the person I'd decided I couldn't live without wasn't with me anymore—what was the point of living then?
Coming to today, I understand that living has no connection to love at all! People can live without love just fine, no problem. Even now, every day I remember her, every moment that person comes to mind. I wish her well, I pray for her. She's blocked me everywhere, she sees my messages alright but doesn't reply. Still I think, she's fine, isn't she? Maybe she can't remember me anymore, but I can always remember her; if there's something called love in this world, whatever success I have in it, whatever fulfillment, whatever commitment—she doesn't have even ten percent of that! If I had spent my life with such a person, nothing good would have come of it.
Whatever the Creator does, He does for the good. That she left me—the Creator saved me; I've been saved, brother! I couldn't have been happy with her. Rather, let her be happy in her way, let me be happy in mine. She's right in her place, I'm right in mine. We weren't meant to be together, so we couldn't stay together. Everything that happens is predetermined in our lives, decided beforehand. There's nothing to suffer so much over this. I understand your pain—I've felt that pain, so I understand it very clearly!
Stop the crying. If you cry too much over unnecessary things, you won't even get the chance to cry a little over necessary ones.
স্যার আপনার কথা গুলো সত্যি বাস্তব মুখী।