The Price of Mediation

Two people you care about. One of them has been hurt or annoyed by something the other has done. They've shared this with you.

Your job now is simple: don't share it with the other person. If it needed to be shared, if it needed to be said, they could have done it themselves. Or later, through their own actions, the other person would discover it anyway. The point is, don't take it upon yourself to carry this hurt or irritation to their ears. Let them shoulder that responsibility if it comes to that.

Today you spoke with a clear mind and good intentions. Your heart was pure, because you wanted them to be more careful in the future, wanted the relationship between those two to stay beautiful. Perhaps they even listened to your counsel with grace and understanding.

But one day, this kindness of yours might come back to bite you. People change with time. Their feelings shift, their thoughts transform for reasons you'll never fully grasp. Then they might turn on you—decide that you took the other person's side, that you deliberately hurt them out of spite. Or worse, they might misunderstand you entirely, and the affection they once held for you might wither or fade. Both of them—and you—all three might end up breeding a bitter contempt for one another.

Better to stay silent. You can never truly know what lives in another person's heart. Even the closest person to you might think nothing like you do. Why risk losing a friend? Why gamble with friendship's fragility? What good comes from trying to help someone, only to reap bitterness from them in return?

People weep over things they'd never have thought to weep over if they hadn't been told. Does that make any sense at all?!