Thought: Six Hundred and Three
……………………………………………………
1 December 2014
What happened at Rajshahi University yesterday:
(Shared exactly as my younger brother Rokon wrote it, courtesy of the Rajshahi University Career Club page.)
The entire campus was youthful. The event venues were packed—perhaps Rajshahi University had never witnessed such youthfulness except during its convocation!
In the morning, I had the good fortune of attending Murshed bhai’s session for about an hour. His talks and tips on career, profile, and CV have always seemed awesome to me, and today was no exception. What I love most is hearing him say, “After Dhaka, I stay most in touch with Rajshahi.” Brother, we are deeply honored and grateful to have you.
In the afternoon, I only knew that two resource persons would come to speak about BCS matters. One was Rimel bhai, who is a distinguished officer, and the other was Sushanta da, who came first in the 30th BCS. Naturally, students think more about BCS, so passes/tickets had all sold out long before.
Starting programs a bit late is a Bengali habit, so I deliberately entered a little late. I was rather surprised—the gallery was completely full. I’m an organizer, and I had to sit in the middle row!
That’s not even the big thing. The big thing is…
# Today, Kazi Nazrul Islam Auditorium hosted its best/most informative/most inspirational session/seminar!
# In my campus life, I’ve seen/organized many programs. But I’d never seen an audience on the second floor of Kazi Nazrul Islam Auditorium. Today that desire was fulfilled too.
# I’ve been studying and working on inspiration/career matters for about two years. I have experience attending so many seminars/motivational sessions. But honestly speaking, I’ve never gotten this much motivation from any seminar/session. I was thinking about how much those who don’t work on or think about these tracks must have benefited!
# One resource person conducted a session for over three hours. No one’s desire to listen flagged even a bit. The audience’s listening energy didn’t diminish at all!
# It was spellbinding!
# One friend of mine—I invite him to events but he never comes. After the event, he told me, “You do well to insist. I needed something exactly like this.” Another said, “From now on, whenever there’s an event, just tell me. I’ll definitely come.”
Rimel bhai and Sushanta da, you’ve delivered two great speeches! Especially Sushanta da’s—I would say “It wasn’t about BCS, it was about life!” Dada, it’s impossible to measure your words, your experience sharing, with a title like “Session on BCS and IBA.” You say you don’t deserve “first position.” But I think you really don’t deserve it. Actually, the word “first” doesn’t do justice to your greatness and humbleness!
I won’t belabor the point. The events were awesome, awesome, and awesome unlimited!
I spoke about RUCC yesterday. I’m saying it again
“The way we
kept RUCC going has truly advanced tremendously—today’s career fair is living proof of that.
Team RUCC, hats off to you! What you can do, truly no one else can.”
2 December 2014
feeling State never sleeps!
Customs Intelligence just seized
14goldbars weighing 140 tolas and 77pieces of goldchains from a passenger from
Dubai at Chittagong Airport.
Smugglers propose, customs disposes.
2 December 2014
feeling Ah!
How many people’s happy households I’m helping to build!
Yet I have no news of my own household.
Today I received the following message in my inbox. I found it quite amusing after reading it. I’m sharing it with permission from the sender. However,
no one in their family knows about this relationship, and since several family members follow me on Facebook, I won’t reveal their name at their request.
Brother, I can’t help but thank you,
so I’m compelled to write. Yesterday was my affair anniversary. And the person I’m fond of is such a procrastinator when it comes to studies that if there were provisions for a Nobel Prize in this field, they would surely win it. Though they’ve never gotten poor results. Even at Dhaka University, they’re
first in their department. They’ll take the BCS this time. I know if they studied just a little, they’d probably do well, but they simply won’t do even that much studying. They’re willing to listen to everything in the world except talk about studying. Yesterday, on a sudden whim, I gifted them the links to your BCS-related notes. I knew
they’d be quite angry inside, but I gave them anyway. Hoping that reading your words might kindle some interest in studying.
But today I truly received a surprising feedback. After reading the links, apparently this morning they studied continuously for three hours. Whether they pass BCS or not,
that’s not the main thing,
the fact that they studied for so long is a huge gift for me. Thank you so very much again, brother. Those who truly deserve thanks should be thanked, or else we fail to show them proper respect.
3 December 2014
feeling Proud to be a CUETian!!
CUET made a promise—it would make me an engineer. CUET didn’t keep its word. Thanks to CUET for not keeping its word.
Happy to be a derailed engineer!!!
4 December 2014
It’s better to take God’s name than to speak ill of others. I myself have so many faults. When I speak badly of someone behind their back, my own faults don’t diminish. They may not hear it, but this way I unknowingly forgive my own shortcomings. And if they somehow do hear it, have you ever considered how much pain they would feel?
Always seek people’s blessings. They may not always work, but I’ve observed that curses often do. What suffering people give through them! It’s better to invoke God’s name instead. It will be good for you, good for everyone.
Never envy anyone. To envy someone means you’re dissatisfied with what God has given you. This makes God think that instead of giving to you, it would be better to give to someone who suffers more than you—it would benefit them more. Gratitude has power. Whatever state you’re in, always remember this: you’re surely just a part of God’s grand masterplan. The person you envy—how much do you really know about their struggles? Instead of envying them, do something to become like them. If you feel they’re better off than you, pray for them, that they may be even better. God doesn’t like those who don’t wish well for someone He keeps well. If you pray for their wellbeing, your own wellbeing will follow. This is what life has taught me.
(Last night when Father went to bed, I was sitting on his bed talking about various things. Among many other things, Father also shared the thoughts above.)
6 December 2014
…………now @ East West
University Campus. The Career Adda starts at 11:30
……….liked the campus with
Arafat Noman
Thought: Six Hundred Four
……………………………………………………
7 December 2014
What Arafat Noman says about my
first Career Adda @ a private university. EWU is the first private university
to host this event. Thanks to its career club, the participants and especially
to Noman!! Sharing is fun! I believe only a line or even a word can change your
life. You’ve to catch it in the same way you love to catch the rainbow!
A souvenir from EWU makes me feel
honoured. Thanks to gorgeous Nahid Sir. This person knows how to hide age!
Hiding is an art! This person knows how to appreciate. Kind words are healthier
than a bowl of chicken soup. We want our university faculties not only to teach
the students but also to make them learn how to learn.
7 December 2014
The problem is not that the people
you suspect of being vindictive are often really vindictive; rather the problem
is, you suspect rather than be sure. Stop suspecting, kick them out. RIGHT NOW!
Don’t start believing that a scorpion might not sting, for it’s the only thing
it can do.
7 December 2014
News of my Sylhet Career Chat:
(Copied word-for-word from younger brother’s wall.)
Time consuming but not wasting of
time. Read and share- especially those who r from Habiģanj, Moulvibazar,
Sylhet, Sunamganj districts.
“Most people love success, but secretly despise successful people. Not everyone will like you. If you don’t accept this, those who don’t like you will gain more.”
“Better to fight a lion and lose once than to fight a donkey and win a hundred times.”
“You need two hands to hold two small things. You also need two hands to hold one big thing. If you can’t let go of your attachment to small opportunities, big opportunities will slip through your fingers. Live like birds. Leave to live.”
Or—some stories—
perhaps about the bumblebee,
or tales of Sachin Tendulkar and Irfan Pathan, or stories of Humayun Ahmed and Samaresh Majumdar. Stories of some melancholic soul, or of a nobody, or of some strange dog, or of a car’s headlights, or of a happy, unsuccessful accidental engineer.
Or answers to certain questions—
What is a career?
Which career is good? Career versus family. Is confidence essential for success, or is success essential for confidence?
Or perhaps you want to know—the do’s and don’ts of IBA entrance exams. How to overcome weakness in English—how to improve your English skills?
“Ninety-six percent of the world’s wealth is earned by just one percent of people. Of those who take the BCS exam, only one percent of candidates become cadres. Why is this? It’s partly controlled by factors beyond our control. Don’t think about those.
Use what is within your control. Plan to be among that one percent. Think less about the misfortune of the remaining ninety-nine percent.”
Such talk about BCS. Some tips for clearing the tedious, exhaustingly difficult BCS exam in one go.
Don’t feel like studying?
Simple tricks for doing well in group studies or the viva alone.
Or some stories of liberation from life’s despair—
“I’ve seen that much happens just by staying alive. Except for those very close to you, no one really cares if you disappear. So stay alive.
There are those who find peace in wishing for your death—if nothing else, live for their sake at least.
Survival itself is the greatest revenge. So live, if only for your own sake.
Live—for yourself—
Live for others.
I won’t say much more—
There is joy in honoring the gifted. And so that such gifted individuals can easily share their talent and wisdom with everyone—through the enchantment of their words, in the light of their lives, we too may gain the aspiration to be enlightened. With this endeavor, the “Rotaract Club of Habiganj” is organizing “Career Adda with Sushanta Paul” on Friday, December 19, 2014, from 9 AM to 1 PM at the District Shilpakala Academy in Habiganj.
Let me say a few words about the person this event celebrates—
Sushanta Paul
He secured 1st position in the merit list of the 30th BCS and currently works as Assistant Director at the Customs Office in Dhaka.
He also secured 1st position in the MBA admission exam at IBA, University of Dhaka—the dream institution for most people.
Successful in both personal and professional life, this person is among those rare individuals who didn’t stop after achieving success themselves—he has taken up the noble mission of showing others the path to success through the story of his own achievements.
His Facebook profile cover photo reads: “I WANT TO INSPIRE PEOPLE. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME AND SAY ‘BECAUSE OF YOU, I DIDN’T GIVE UP’”
If you want to seek answers to any of the above questions—
or if you want to hear any of the aforementioned stories firsthand—
or if you have even the slightest desire to honor a visionary officer’s sincere intentions—
then please come yourself—
inform your acquaintances—
if possible, share on your own wall
and on your friends’ walls.
Share on the Facebook pages of all educational institutions in Habiganj, Moulvibazar, Sylhet, and Sunamganj (including Brindaban College and all colleges in Habiganj, SUST, Osmani Medical, JRRMC, NEMC, SWMC, MC College, Madan Mohan College, Agricultural University, Moulvibazar College, all colleges in Sreemangal, and others). Inform friends studying at these institutions. Post on the pages of all Rotary, Rotaract, and Interact clubs in the Sylhet division—inform everyone personally.
Go and register for this “Career ADDA with Sushanta Paul” event.
Perhaps the venue is too small for someone like Sushanta—at a similar gathering at Rajshahi University, there were over 2,500 participants. Habiganj is a small town—arranging such a large auditorium isn’t possible. Coming from Chittagong to Habiganj is no small hassle either. We will make every effort to make it successful—I hope that even if small, our sincerity will touch you.
What will be covered?
#BCS detailed discussion on preliminary, written, and viva
#Motivational talks
#IBA admission tips and tricks
#Career Guidelines
#Q&A Session
Organized by- Rotaract Club of Habiganj
In collaboration with – Interact Club of Habiganj
Your earnest efforts and gracious presence will make our initiative successful
– This will perhaps be a fitting tribute to Sushanta-da’s endeavors.
So let’s meet on December 19th, Friday-
At Sushanta-da’s career chat in Habiganj.
8 December 2014
feeling irritated.
: Brother,
why do you flirt with girls?
: Bhai,
would it look any better if I flirted with boys?
These bloody idiots! I feel like grabbing them and making them wear glass bangles and marigold garlands!!!
10December 2014
feeling mischievous.
On StarPlus, in some serial, they keep shooting and killing all the beautiful girls.
What kind of nonsense is this! Beautiful girls are already scarce as it is.
………. Good girls aren’t scarce, but beautiful good girls are.
Came to eat at an invitation. They’re not serving food,
so I’m sitting in the drawing room watching serials with everyone.
Why do people assume
that beautiful girls can’t be good? It’s all the media’s creation!
You can make a beautiful bad girl good,
but you can’t make an ugly good girl beautiful.
Who said people with beautiful faces don’t have beautiful hearts?
Strange!!
Thought: Six hundred and five
……………………………………………………
11December 2014
Oh my goodness!!!
I couldn’t have imagined this!!
Drawing friends’ attention,
Next Saturday, Sushanta Pal bhaiya will come to visit Chittagong University. For those who missed motivational programs like the Career Chat or are eager to know him closely, this is an excellent opportunity. For law department students, this is a great opportunity because our own Aayaan bhaiya will be with him.
Bhaiya will be available from Saturday morning. He’ll be coming on our traditional shuttle train. Those who are regular shuttle train passengers can take the opportunity to spend time with bhaiya from the city itself.
I don’t think it would be wise to let slip this chance to meet bhaiya up close.
11December 2014
How to deal with a problem? Well,
never make a problem a problem before/ until/ unless it creates any problems
for you. If I don’t have to, why should I? Simple! Our problem is, we don’t know
how to keep simple things simple, how to leave complicated things complicated.
12December 2014
Tomorrow I’m going to wander around Chittagong University campus. By wander, I really mean wander. Nothing else. No career chats or discussions.
It awakens in winter—one of those few campuses in Bangladesh that does. Green everywhere, just green upon green. Enchanting as a woman herself. When you visit this campus, all the sorrows of not being able to study at this university come crowding in.
(I still haven’t been to Jahangirnagar University campus. I’ve heard it’s the winter queen of Bangladesh.) The contemplation of basking in the sun on this campus from the winter before last still tastes sweet. Tomorrow there’ll be non-stop conversations with all the younger brothers and sisters on campus,
wandering about,
striking poses for photos. I want to drink my life to the fullest! Tomorrow on the university campus we’ll eat steamed rice cakes with coconut filling sweetened with date palm jaggery,
tomorrow on the university campus we’ll eat puffed rice soaked in Sprite. That’s
my wish. Right, Ayan?
Tomorrow will be filled only with stories of life,
not livelihood.
Let me share an old thought of mine:
The sweet punishment of success is
that people will overrate you and you will feel delightedly embarrassed.
Meeting someone who likes me, or my thoughts, or my writing is often a peculiar experience for me. It turns out they’re comfortable thinking of me as bigger than I am, which makes me deeply uncomfortable. I’d rather have everyone hate me for what I am than love me for what I’m not. Just the other day, while having tea at a roadside stall, a younger brother came up, greeted me with salam, and asked in amazement,
“Brother, you drink tea at roadside stalls too?”
I was thinking to myself, “Crazy boy,
if you knew what all I do!”
I want
tomorrow no one to call me sir,
but brother. If anyone wants to take a photo with me, let them not ask someone else to ask, let them ask me directly. I am simple,
so I like simple people.
Tomorrow I’ll go on the 9:45 morning train,
return on the 5:30; the shuttle train. This train never falls asleep, this train has a strange kind of life in it. Riding it makes you want to call wild arm-flinging, throat-bursting yelling a song, the thunderous assault on the train’s innocent body never seems wrong,
every minute your age decreases bit by bit, glancing sideways at some beauty makes you think she
must have been trying to make eye contact with me all this while and just shyly looked away when I turned back. All the mood-lifting childishness comes and possesses you. Life seems to have stopped in that compartment. Here time runs out before its time. Here everyone belongs. Here everyone practices the same religion;
the religion of the shuttle train. Tomorrow I’ll reduce my age once more. I’m waiting.
My younger brother Prashant is coming with me. He’s convinced he takes better pictures than his DSLR. Thanks to Ayan for organizing tomorrow’s gathering with his campus juniors. And by the way, you can reach me at 01716086921.
Now let me share something else. After reading my status yesterday, a girl felt a deep longing to walk hand in hand with her lover along the seashore in this winter dawn. She absolutely must have this, no matter what! She wants her lover to take half a day off from work if necessary—that’s not the problem. The problem lies elsewhere. The poor thing hasn’t found a lover who would walk hand in hand with her along the shore at dawn. Such is life, perhaps. The girl who wants her lover to tuck jasmine flowers into her hair ends up with someone whose jasmine flowers get devoured by philistine goats. (Wait, do goats even eat jasmine?)
For those who’ve read this piece thinking “career talk, career talk,” I won’t disappoint you. The career discussion at Chittagong University, initiated by Daud Sir and sponsored by the Rotary Club, will happen at the end of this month or at the very beginning of next month. My younger brother Ayan is handling all the arrangements. This Friday, I’ll be having a career discussion in Habiganj, organized by the Rotaract Club through Anuj Dada’s initiative. I’ll stay in Sylhet for two days, explore around. I’ll meet friends in Sylhet, we’ll chat. Looking forward to it.
13December 2014
In the cockpit…….
13December 2014
Just returned from Chittagong University campus. Heading to Batikhana. Are any friends around that area? If so, give a shout. If needed, you can pay for coffee, I’ll pay for puffed rice. I’m having coffee and puffed rice today.
16December 2014
Brother, there are some people who don’t have the courage to consider themselves incompetent, but feel more comfortable thinking of themselves as oppressed. Don’t try to fight with them. They’re usually in the majority. They’ll drag you into their group too.
(My younger brother Prashanta said this just now during our dinner table conversation.)
17December 2014
(Copied verbatim from Anuj Kanti Das Dada’s status)
Just 48 hours left
– On December 19th, at exactly this time, our busyness will perhaps be of a different kind. Several of us will be in our final efforts to ensure that the result of our long endeavor turns out beautiful and successful – Sushanta Da will be thinking about what new things can be said for career building in Habiganj, what new tonic can be given to inspire those interested in career development – and those who come to listen to him will come to hear some encouraging words
– or to criticize what kind of event this little club called Rotaract Club has organized.
Whatever anyone may think – the time is approaching. Now we simply await its realization. I have spoken many times about Sushanta-da – let me say it one last time. He topped the 30th BCS examination. That identity has been largely overshadowed by his present endeavors. Through grand gatherings in front of 3,000 people in Dhaka, 2,500 at Rajshahi University, or the career conversations in Chittagong, he has become an icon for the youth today. Many are finding fresh enthusiasm in his words, new vigor is stirring in many hearts.
Continuing that effort, he is coming to Habiganj this Friday. Precisely at 9 o’clock – at the District Council Auditorium in Habiganj. He can speak for extended periods – the good news for us is that he has confirmed he will speak for as long as the participants wish.
Therefore, I would request – let us not carelessly lose this opportunity. To honor a person’s sincere intentions, to hear some wonderfully beautiful words, to learn various tips for BCS preparation, to receive simple suggestions for improving English proficiency, or to know everything about IBA admission exams – come at precisely 9 o’clock.
Organized by – Rotaract Club of Habiganj. In collaboration with – Interact Club of Habiganj. My task was simply to manage Sushanta-da – all other work has been done by the Rotaractors – through the tireless efforts of Dibakar-da, Shuvajit, Sajib, Roni, Antu, Tapu, Robi, Sekul, Bappu, Dhirendra, Emon and everyone else, I hope we can offer something good. I’m not saying thank you because WE are A TEAM. Just 2 more days – so let us all try together one last time.
See you at – “Career Conversation with Sushanta Pal” – at Habiganj District Council Auditorium – at precisely 9 o’clock.
Thought: Six hundred and six
……………………………………………………
17December 2014
Details of my next career conversation:
Date: December 19 (Friday)
Time: 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM
Venue: District Council Auditorium, Habiganj (in front of Brindaban College)
What the conversation will include:
Motivational session. BCS exam preparation strategies (Preliminary+Written+Viva). Dhaka University IBA MBA admission exam preparation strategies (Written+Viva). Question and answer session.
The conversation is organized by Habiganj’s Rotaract Club.
No entry fee is required to participate in the conversation, no registration needed, just come at that time. The conversation is open to all.
I’m coming to Sylhet on tomorrow night’s train. I’ll be in Sylhet on December 19 and 20. I hope to meet friends in Sylhet, have conversations, and explore together.
18December 2014
Offices should have winter vacations too, just like schools, colleges, and universities. Don’t grown-ups feel the cold? On winter mornings, being unemployed seems easier than taking a bath. In this cold, even the misfortune of the unemployed stirs envy! What else in this world could possibly compare to the quilts and blankets of a winter morning?
No morning walks, no gym!
Who, where, when has achieved immortality by doing such things? Death through laziness, death without laziness too. Therefore, laziness is preferable. On these bone-chilling winter mornings, the helpless dance-like bathing of office workers—fleeing from the shower, escaping from under the shower. Alas! What wretched peace this job brings! Grabbing the little ones and torturing them brings pleasure!
You are small,
But why should I grow up because of that?
In this world, alas, who wants to grow up?
Tell me, how does one get up for an office that starts at 6 AM?
God bless you.
No one becomes immortal by going to the gym, brother, but you do get a belly-free life.
If a belly brings some comfort,
then the belly is better.
19December 2014
Not much,
just for the appreciation of one such enchanted person, 4-5 hours of ‘talking’ can be spent!
One can chase forest buffaloes while eating at home!
The Rotaract Club of Habiganj has arranged for this enchantment! Thanks to them. Apparently, in Habiganj, students had gathered in such numbers for a program where someone was ‘speaking’—like my career chat—only once before; the day Jafer Iqbal Sir came. I spoke for 4-5 hours. They didn’t flee, they listened!
Brother Sawon has shared this screenshot on my wall. What he wrote when posting this, I’m reproducing exactly:
I’m uploading this snapshot while I’m in the toilet. Honestly, I’m about to cry. Thanks to Anuj for managing to bring Sushanta-da to Habiganj. I’m telling Sushen Chakraborty, brother, if we can channel this emotion into action, success will come to our Habiganj.
Shawon-da, you probably don’t know yourself how helpless you’ve made me by posting this on my wall. Love does make one helpless, doesn’t it?
Can one love that much?
Alas! I cannot!
In this life, how many times do I mistake non-love for love!
Antu, tell Sushen that because his name and my name are similar, a kind of joy is working within me. What?
Will you remember to tell him?
20December 2014
On the way to Rema-Kalenga Sanctuary…….
20December 2014
Midday sojourn at the sanctuary. We are 23 people. This is the best for tree diversity. Second best for the free roaming of wildlife. In terms of natural forest expanse, this comes right after the Sundarbans.
24December 2014
Then came the gold recovery! Along with the iPhone.
Many have asked via inbox and phone calls, where am I? Where are my writings?
Am I well?
The answer is,
I was just busy, that’s all.
On the 19th and 20th I was in Habiganj; at career chats, wandering around.
I was in Dhaka on the 21st, 22nd, and 23rd;
for NBR’s VAT online project training.
After a sleepless night journey on the bus yesterday, I’ve been working at the office since morning with a weary body.
Now there isn’t an ounce of fatigue left. Thanks to some excellent detective work done this morning.
Let me share the news. Our Customs Intelligence and Investigation Directorate’s Chittagong Airport team recovered 33 pieces of gold bars (330 bhori), 150 grams of gold ornaments (7 necklaces,
4 chains,
1 pair of earrings), and 7 iPhones from passenger Mohammad Nurul Islam on Bangladesh Biman flight BG 046 arriving from Dubai at 10:30, with an estimated market value of 1 crore 80 lakh taka.
Smugglers propose, customs disposes.
24December 2014
Ah! 3 days of leave!
Come, let’s watch movies during this break, eat puffed rice, sleep,
and sing hymns to laziness.
You are industrious,
so why shouldn’t I be idle?
For those who believe in the above principle, like me,
this note is for you.
(Sushanta Paul published a note. Dating on 150 Taka or My Cinema Diary)
26December 2014
Gold recovery!
Today around 11:45 PM, a joint team from Airport Customs and Airport Customs Intelligence recovered 24 pieces of gold bars wrapped in black scotch tape inside a black wallet, abandoned in the toilet at Chittagong Airport. The total weight of the bars is 240 bhori (2.8 kg)
with an estimated value of 1.2 crore taka.
We suspect that some passenger from Bangladesh Biman flight BG 024 arriving from Muscat at 11:10 PM might have sensed our team’s presence and fled after abandoning this gold.
After duty all day, no sleep even at night, you mad thing!
State never sleeps!
Smugglers propose, customs disposes.
26December 2014
……….old friends taste like old
wine.
27December 2014
A well-wisher in my Facebook inbox informed me of my seven flaws, several of which are quite true!
I’m sharing them with you.
One. You don’t maintain contact. It’s not that
you do this to avoid anyone. You just ‘forget’.
You feel bad about it later. Even then you don’t call to say hello.
Two. Every girl wants
her boyfriend to worship her,
call all day, check on her, ask ‘have you eaten, baby’
and carry on with such worldly affairs. You will never do these things in your life. You are just too natural!
Disgusting! You can put on quite a show, that’s fine. But that’s not enough. You need to learn some girl-charming hypocrisy too. Learn what they want to hear. It’ll come in handy in the future.
Three. There’s something childlike about you. You need to be lovingly nurtured into maturity. If any woman thinks that after marrying you, all her responsibilities become yours, then she’s a fool! You’re indifferent to household matters. The poor girl will have to manage the entire domestic sphere with her own hands. You can certainly handle all financial and social matters, but all the family politics will have to be dealt with by that unfortunate soul.
Four. You have a serious ego problem. Just because you can’t bring yourself to ask, many people around you won’t realize that you need something or deserve it. Right before your eyes, people will take what’s yours and claim it as their own, while you sit there with a ‘great mind’ attitude, watching it all unfold and feeding your ego with puffed rice soaked in righteousness. Learn to ask, do you understand?
Five. You can’t say ‘no’ to anyone. This is very bad. People take you for granted. This isn’t right. There’s absolutely no sense in inconveniencing yourself to do someone a favor.
Six. You spend far too much. On yourself, on your family. If it were just this much, there wouldn’t be a problem. But you throw money around for others too. Just stop paying the bill everywhere. Learn to share. You’re going to get married soon. Start saving.
Seven. You can’t differentiate between who’s a glory hunter and who actually respects you. You pull everyone close to you. You are just too available! This isn’t right. Learn to build a wall around yourself. More like a shield. Everyone can see, but they can’t touch. Sometimes people can hardly understand your dignity until and unless you make them understand it.
Friends, do any of these match with you? If they do, which one? Or rather, which ones?
Share one of your own flaws/shortcomings……………. (Let me add another flaw of my own. I have little capacity to tolerate hostile people.)
Those who know me, who read my writing, who think about me even a little—I’d be absolutely delighted if they’d add some more of my flaws. I’d truly be happy. I need to improve myself.
Friend, pay attention! I think 80% of those 7 points above should match with you too!
Thought: Six hundred and seven
……………………………………………………
30December 2014
Small minds get pleasure from fighting with smaller people. Big minds get pleasure from fighting with bigger people. Whom you’re fighting with defines your personality.
You’re powerful? Well, I invite and challenge you to play with my strength, not with my weakness, Sir!
People who prefer to play with your vulnerable points are rather vindictive. Strong people don’t need to slap the rickshaw-walas to show their strength. They’ve their own ways.
Better to lose once fighting with
the lion than to win 100 times fighting with the donkey.
31December 2014
At Nilachal……. parallel
to the clouds……. it’s not
the water that soaks,
but the clouds that soak—quite literally!
31December 2014
I have a friend who’s a photographer. By photographer I don’t mean photographer, but photo-taker, photo-editor, at best photo-shooter. I’ve called him three times asking for a photo he took at a wedding. He won’t give it. Because he’s busy. He’s busy because I’m not a girl. When I call, he says, “Friend, I’ll edit it and give it to you, my name will be written in the corner.” I told him, “You write your name, write your father’s name, write your mother’s name, if necessary write your zodiac sign and your horoscope too. Just give me the photo.” The photo has me with my mother. It’s a beautiful picture. I want to keep the photo for myself. No! Still didn’t give it. That my friend takes good photos—this is a source of pride for me. That my friend acts like a photographer with me—this is painful for me. My failure is that I find it hard to accept my friend’s photographer mask.
I have a story. “Photographer.” You’ll find it in Notes. You might read it.
Happiness is: spending an entire Thursday evening flipping through the pages of newly-bought or previously-bought books. After that, when a night begins that might feel good, starting to read with the thought that there’s no office tomorrow, staying up late won’t matter.
Or, diving into a movie at that very time.
I bought all this for a few coins—
Smritikunda (The Memory Pond)
By Brata Chakraborty. By Buddhadeb Dasgupta. Selected Poems of Ranjit Das……
Brata Chakraborty is extraordinary! Very much so!!
(Money went down the drain on these 3 books due to little brother Rumman’s wisdom. Curse him!!)
Ten Novels by Buddhadeb Guha
Father Detienne’s Collected Prose. An Ordinary Diary (Two people learned Bengali and became memorable by writing in Bengali. Abu Sayeed Ayyub; he was Urdu-speaking. Father Detienne; he was French-speaking……. Really, one doesn’t feel like showing respect!)
The Wayfarers of the Journey
Reminiscences
As Far as I Remember
Suchitra Sen’s Biography: She Who Dwells in Solitude
Collected Works of Annada Shankar Ray (12 volumes)
Cosmos
Lolita
In Search of Lost Time
The Sound and the Fury
To The Lighthouse
Madame Bovary
Middlemarch
Moby-Dick
Emma
Things Fall Apart
It appears that one’s own girlfriend causes more trouble than someone else’s girlfriend. Therefore, a wife is better than a girlfriend. Books are better than someone else’s girlfriend.
Friends! Happy Weekend.
I had said I’d treat everyone to coffee. Thinking that if they came, they’d have to be treated, no one said they’d come. Yet they came anyway. Some of them. I knew many, got to know many others. If I get something free, I’m willing to eat even bricks. And coffee is a good thing. People who eat good things with good conversation and pay the bill with good hearts have become rare. This miserliness is truly cruel and merciless. Still, we met, chatted, and our stories blended afternoon into evening. We drank coffee. The happy thing is, no one made promises, so no one had to keep their word. The only sadness is that no one treated me to coffee and made me eternally indebted.
I had wanted to return home as a debtor. I did return. Along with a little light from the lighthouse. What I brought back—
Sudhir Chakrabarti’s From Song to Song. The mingling of seen and unseen. Many days’ worth of conversations
Ashok Mitra’s Tin Kuri Dash (5 volumes). Apila Chapila (The author was a renowned ICS officer.)
Humayun Ahmed’s Epitaph. Ananta Ambare. Shankhoneel Karagar. Shyamol Chhaya. Gauripur Junction. Brishti O Meghomala
Humayun Ahmed’s Memorial Volume
Chinmoy Guha’s In Search of the Deep Conch and Other Essays
Chinmoy Guha’s translation of La Rochefoucauld’s Maxims (I had been mentally searching for this book for quite some time. Humayun Azad’s Probochonguchho was influenced by La Rochefoucauld. Writer Harishankar Jaldas informed me that this book is available at Batighar. Thank you, sir. The next three books were also bought on his recommendation.)
Nazrul’s friend Shailjananda Mukhopadhyay’s Nazrul memoir Keu Bhole Na Keu Bhole
Chitra Deb’s Antapurer Atmokatha
Manoj Mitra and Amar Mitra’s Bashiye Diyechhi Kapotaksha Jole
Rupayan Bhattacharya’s Hridaye Lekho Naam Manna
Srijato’s prose book Amar Santa Thakur
(In his poetry there’s probably something like…
Think about it,
If a girl who’s never heard of Shankha Ghosh proposes to you, what would you say!…
Something along those lines. If I’m wrong, blame Rumman.)
Pandit Ajay Chakrabarty’s Shrutinandan
Jatileshwar Mukhopadhyay’s Dingulo Mor
Jibanananda’s wife Labanya Das’s Manush Jibanananda
Monajatuddin’s Path Theke Pathe
Abdul Mannan Sayed’s Shuddhotom Kobi
Bhumendra Guha’s Alekhya: Jibanananda
Sanjib Chattopadhyay’s Raseboshe
Nabanita Debsen’s Bhalobasha Baranda
(She is not known merely as Amartya Sen’s wife)
Clinton B. Seely’s Ananyo Jibanananda
Muhammad Habibur Rahman’s Mahachiner Katha
Supriya Sarkar’s Prokashker Diary
Tapan Sinha’s Mone Pore
Ritwik Ghatak on his own feet, on his own path
The book of Ritwik Ghatak’s interviews: Meet Ritwik
Narayan Gangopadhyay’s Beautiful Journal
Gajendrakumar Mitra’s Those Days
Shamsur Rahman’s Written in the Dust of Time
Binodbihari Mukhopadhyay’s The Painter (My friend Sharad Das Apu had told me about this book. Apu, thank you.)
Samaresh Majumdar’s Bengali Mischief
I returned home in debt. Why?
The lighthouse bill is still unpaid.
I’m planning to remain forever in debt.
When a true genius appears in the world,
you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
In Swift’s time, there was no Facebook. Had there been,
he might have said,
When a genius appears on Facebook,
you may doubt him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy for him.
John Kennedy Toole knocked on publishers’ doors to get his work published, and finally, unable to bear any more rejections, killed himself at thirty-one in profound anguish. His mother Thelma Toole took his torn, dirty manuscript to Percy Walker. Walker taught at a college and wrote occasionally. At first, he refused to read the manuscript.
“My son suffered greatly when this work couldn’t be published and took his own life. I’m leaving this with you; please read at least a few pages.
If it’s not worth publishing, don’t send me word—
just throw it away yourself. I’ll find comfort in assuming
perhaps you just didn’t have time to read it.” Saying this, she left the manuscript on Walker’s desk and walked out of the office without hope,
the way a helpless mother leaves her child at an orphanage, hoping that if not well, at least it will survive. What happened next
is known to all. Eleven years after the writer’s death, the American comic masterpiece A Confederacy of Dunces was published, and the writer was posthumously awarded the Pulitzer.
……….. A song by Santosh Sengupta comes to mind ……… Those whom you gave no garland in life,
why do you come bearing flowers for them in death
………
Far from being published, knowing that Kamalkumar and Jibanananda would never even be read by anyone, what enchantment drove them to write novels with such devotion and love for writing—
those who are writing now
might consider this, please? We sit down to read with such hope!
The book fair comes,
so many write. We readers too wait for this time. We see books, buy them,
sometimes even read them. Lately, after reading, I often feel like saying, like the rat in the Ratatouille animation movie, Anyone can write,
that does not mean that anyone should.
Thought: Six hundred and eight
……………………………………………………
Books bought for the fourth time this past Ekushey, on the occasion and off-occasion of the book fair……..
Why the Liberation War was Inevitable
Seventy-One from the Pakistani Perspective
The Mind of a Razakar
(2 Volumes)
The Birth of Bangladesh:
An Eyewitness Account
Mainstream ’71
Surrender at Dhaka
Days of Liberation War in Exile
From Guerrilla to Direct Combat
(2 Volumes),
bought this book on brother
Zahidur Rahman’s recommendation
The Rape of Bangladesh
(The Sector Commanders Speak)
Memorable Episodes of the Liberation War
Superhuman 1971
Suchitra Sen:
Emergence and
Withdrawal (I buy anything I can find about Suchitra. Why?
Even when a beloved sends a text with just a dot, I want to look at it again and again, can’t bring myself to think of it as meaningless. Something like that, isn’t it?)
The Body of Shadow
Reading Nature
Garhatbar
Eight Chambers Nine Doors
History and
Historian
Picasso’s Three Women
Jaleshwari’s Diary
At the Heart’s Pull
Scattered Winds
From Bong to Bangla
A Bengali Woman’s Journey to Japan
In North America
Onu Tareq’s On Roads Across the World
From Gangariddhi to Bangladesh (brother
Shahriar Shahid gave me this book as a token of friendship)
Fourth Dimension Blog Compilation 2014
Ahmad Mostofa Kamal’s Rainy Season Anthology, The Blind Magician,
Stories of Being Alone, Somewhere Else Somewhere Different, The Legacy of Bengali Short Stories
Murtala Ramat’s The Kite of Wild Pursuits
Bishwajit Chowdhury’s Selected Poems
One Day Ahana’s Migration
Please Stand in Line
Forbidden
Dictionary of Expletives
Mysterious Conversations (written by Indramitra. Like Sunil Gangopadhyay, I too am a special admirer of this gentleman’s extraordinary sense of humor.)
My Childhood
(by Humayun Ahmed)
Twelve Greatest Artists
Shahaduz Zaman’s Blessed by Listening to Kabir’s Devotional Songs
Autobiographical Interview (by Humayun Ahmed)
A Duet of Light and Shadow
(In Memory of Mahmudul Haq)
The Spice War
Spring Lament
Do Birds Too Have Hearts
Private Life of The Mughals of India
Man’s Search for Meaning
The Death Messenger (written in the shadow of Philip Meadows Taylor’s
Confessions of a Thug)
A Room of One’s Own (translated work)
Siddhartha (translated work)
School (translated work)
The Book of Facts
(translated work)
The Narrow Gate
(translated work)
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
(translated work)
This year’s book fair has passed in the twin joys of buying books and the selling of books.
Books purchased on this 4th round on Ekushey, both in honor of the book fair and incidentally to it……..
Why the Liberation War Was Inevitable
Seventy-One Through Pakistani Eyes
The Mind of a Razakar
(2 volumes)
The Rise of Bangladesh:
An Eyewitness Account
Mainstream ’71
Surrender at Dhaka
Days of Liberation War in Exile
From Guerrilla to Frontal Warfare
(2 volumes),
bought this book on the advice
of brother Zahidur Rahman
The Rape of Bangladesh
(The Sector Commanders Speak)
Memorable Events of the Liberation War
Inhuman 1971
Suchitra Sen:
Ascension and
Seclusion (I buy anything I can find about Suchitra. Why?
When a beloved sends even a dot as a text message, you want to look at it again and again, never wanting to think of it as meaningless. Something like that, isn’t it?)
Body of Shadow
Reading Nature
Garhatbar
Eight Chambers, Nine Doors
History and
Historian
Picasso’s Three Women
Jaleshwari’s Diary
By the Pull of Heart’s Pen
Scattered Winds
From Bong to Bangla
A Bengali Woman’s Journey to Japan
In North America
Onu Tareq’s On the Paths of the World
From Gangetic Prosperity to Bangladesh (brother
Shahriar Shahid gave me this book as a token of friendship)
Four-Dimensional Blog Anthology 2014
Ahmad Mostofa Kamal’s Rain Blossoms, The Blind Magician,
Stories of Solitude, Somewhere Else, Elsewhere, The Legacy of Bengali Short Stories
Murtala Ramat’s The Kite of Wandering
Bishwajit Chowdhury’s Selected Poems
One Day Ahana’s Migration
Get in Line
Forbidden
Dictionary of Curses
Mysterious Conversations (written by Indramitra. Like Sunil Gangopadhyay, I too am a special admirer of this gentleman’s extraordinary sense of humor.)
My Childhood
(By Humayun Ahmed)
Twelve Greatest Artists
Blessed by listening to Shahaduz Zaman’s Kabir devotionals
Autobiographical Interview (By Humayun Ahmed)
The Duet of Light and Shadow
(In Memory of Mahmudul Haq)
The War of Spices
Spring Lament
Do Birds Have Hearts Too
Private Life of The Mughals of India
Man’s Search for Meaning
Death’s Messenger (Written in the shadow of
Philip Meadows Taylor’s Confessions of a Thug)
A Room of One’s Own (Translated work)
Siddhartha (Translated work)
School (Translated work)
The Book of Facts
(Translated work)
The Thin Arch
(Translated work)
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
(Translated work)
Book-buying and book-trading—this year’s book fair passed in the joy of both. Everyone says, gift books to your loved ones. This fair taught me: gift books and make loved ones.
1 January 2015
I’m sharing some of my Facebook status updates from my time there. This alone will tell much of the story of this album.
30/12/2014.
1:39 AM.
I have to take a class at BGB Training School tomorrow at 10:15 AM. Coming tomorrow during the strike would be risky, so on the advice of the Major in charge of training, I came today in the office’s government car. Their hospitality upon arrival filled me with great joy. At this 1 AM hour, they brought me to their rest house with what amounted to a small guard of honor. I was given one of their most gorgeous rooms to stay in. The room I’m in is more beautiful than any five-star hotel room. Outside my room, 10-12 soldiers are posted on constant guard duty. When I went for a walk in the garden outside, immediately they stood at attention with the sound of boots and saluted. They came near and asked, “Sir, what do you need, sir?” (In Defense and sometimes in civil service, sentences begin and end with ‘Sir.’) A strange kind of satisfaction is working within me. With complete honesty I say, given my modest qualifications, in any other job I would never have received such immense honor at age 30. I am in no way worthy even of a fraction of this.
Thank you BGB! Proud to be a civil
servant!!
31/12/2014.
4:51 PM.
At Nilachal . . . . . . parallel to the
clouds . . . . . . . water
doesn’t soak you,
clouds do—quite literally!
31/12/2014.
9:45 PM.
Wood burning. Straw kindling. Fire breathing. Sparks flying. Ash scattering. Winter shivering. Smoke swirling. Embers sharpening. Bodies warming. Tents pitching. Barbecue arranging. Melodies floating. Rabindranath returning. Lalon practicing. Earth drumming. Conversations flowing. Cameras capturing. Mountains awakening. Leaves weeping. Rivers pulling. Wind singing. Night reveling. Silence chattering. Year ending. Year arriving. Joy spilling. Love burning.
31/12/2014.
Approximately 12:00 AM.
I’m ending the year nearly a thousand meters above sea level. All evening we sang, danced, played. So much more!
A barbecue night on the mountainside,
campfire. River below the mountain. Village right beside. Now sitting on the platform, all of us together singing,
eating. Rain falling on the hills in this winter. My year ends with the hill people in the mountain rain.
Happy New Year 2015.
Friends, what are you doing right at this moment?
May the new year be good to you.
01/01/2015.
Approximately 8:00 AM.
Year beginning. On the mountain’s flank. In cloud’s embrace. Under mist’s veil. At rain’s invitation. Gray shadows in the distance. Of mountains? Or,
clouds? Behind the mist’s screen, Sangu flows on, below the hills. Mist’s vapor merges with cloud. Rain falling, yet not falling. Near this primordial hill forest, rainwater returns again and again. From that village drifts the tune of mountain flutes. Jhum cultivation hugs the riverside. Narrow boats move on narrow waters with narrow oars. The mountain morning freezes in yellow-green. Simple hill people walk simple wild paths. Some trees have shed their winter dress. Blue purple green small birds on small trees. You could touch them if you reached out,
but cannot catch them. In mist’s confusion, gray smoke drifts through green mountain shadows. This silence’s overwhelming touch is deafening me
. . . . . . .
01/01/2015.
Approximately 9:30 AM.
In cloud-broken sunlight mist flees,
mountain’s sleep breaks, river awakens.
Even the mountain’s green comes in so many kinds!
I counted. Fourteen types. Truly! Green that exists only in mountains—gray-tinted green burned by sun through mist and cloud.
Woodcutters are felling trees. Through the meditative stillness of this hill forest hermitage, the aged ascetic’s lament cuts deep. As if some kind of mute, suppressed weeping were emerging through my entire body and mind! Eyelids grow heavy competing with dew-wet leaves from the night. The cruel ironic rivalry between two kinds of leaves! Weeping in the forest! Metaphorically,
literally.
Thought: Six Hundred Nine
……………………………………………………
2 January 2015 ·
: Brother,
I have a viva coming up. I’m really nervous. What should I do?
: No problem! Being nervous before an exam is basic good manners.
: Did you get nervous?
: Do I seem ill-mannered to you?
: Brother,
what are you saying!
I feel like they won’t ask anything I’ve been studying.
: Everyone feels that way.
: But how do I reduce this? Give me some tips.
: There are no tips. Prepare properly.
: Brother, please. Help me a little.
: There’s only one way.
: What’s that?
: Find out which board your viva will be held in. Then call the chairman sir or madam of that board and ask what questions they’ll ask you. Study accordingly.
: Brother, you’re playing with me.
: No, I’m being completely serious.
: But that’s not possible.
: Then why waste time worrying about it? They didn’t ask me even twenty percent of what I’d studied. I was the only candidate in my board who wasn’t asked a single question about the Liberation War. Yet I had extensive preparation on that. On the other hand, they asked me many things they didn’t ask others. Should I file a case against them for preparation damage? They could ask you how to cook noodles and let you go, and you could still get the job. Viva examinations have no set rules.
: That’s true. But brother, I’m tensed about many other things.
: What things?
: For instance, my friend’s husband is very powerful. He’s apparently going to have various people call the PSC. Brother, I don’t have anyone. How will it work without lobbying?
: Then you can do one thing.
: What, brother?
: Convince her husband to agree to a second marriage. You agree too. Then tell him to lobby for both his wives. The idea isn’t bad actually. You two friends will live like sisters for life. You’ll run your household happily and peacefully, work your jobs.
: Brother, you’ve already succeeded, so you’re having fun with me.
: Of course I’m having fun. But even before I succeeded, I never thought about these things. Getting first place never crossed my imagination, but I felt that if not in Customs, then in my second choice Police, I’d get a job somewhere toward the end. I fought for it with all my ability. The thought that I wouldn’t get a job never entered my mind. Who doesn’t worry about the viva? But I didn’t have time to waste on pointless thoughts about things beyond my control. So much to study!
: Okay, I understand. But brother, everyone’s saying there will be corruption in BCS this time. Many are apparently trying to manage things with money. Starting from 10 lakhs. I don’t know what to do.
: There’s nothing to understand. Keep earning money. Cash money. Corruption will happen anyway. To come first, I myself have spent close to a crore.
: Brother, why are you saying this? Everyone says the same thing. You probably don’t know.
: Listen, I have a friend from the 29th batch in administration. Before getting the job, he didn’t even have money to buy new tin roofing for his family’s house. During monsoons, water would drip through holes in the roof. Forget 10 lakh taka for my friend’s job — he didn’t have the capacity to pay even 10 thousand taka. Didn’t he get the job? There are countless others like this. How many do you want to hear about? So many boys and girls from remote villages are getting jobs. Most of those who enter civil service are from simple poor or middle-class families. It hurts to hear you talk like this, you know?
: Brother, I’m sorry. Well, many people will get jobs through quotas, so someone else is getting my job. This thought also pains me, brother.
: Your job, you mean? You don’t have quotas. They won’t come to the seats allocated for you. That 44% is only for you. Your concern should be about the 44%, not the 56%. That’s not yours. The fact that you’re not getting a job — it’s not the fault of those who are getting jobs. You applied knowing the system, didn’t you?
: But brother, it should be reduced.
: So? Reduce it. Who’s stopping you?
: But this isn’t in my hands anymore.
: Why are you thinking about what’s not in your hands? I know this kind of thinking gives great comfort. But studying during that time would have been useful too. There are many, many problems in the world. Among those, thinking about the ones you can’t solve is just wasting time.
: Alright brother, I accept that. What about those who are getting jobs with fake freedom fighter certificates? Two of my friends are taking exams with fake certificates. They’ll get jobs. I won’t, brother.
: Then you get a certificate too.
: Brother, I don’t have the stomach to do this.
: But apparently you do have the stomach to get a job through it.
: Brother, you say strange things. The way you’re thinking of me — I’m nothing like that.
: Then why does seeing them burn you up so much? It will burn—that’s the way of the world. But have you ever considered what you gain from this burning besides wasted time? The world isn’t fair. It’s not your responsibility to fix this unfair world. You haven’t been given enough lifespan or career years for that. In every job exam, countless candidates sit for the test. Less than one percent of them get hired. Time is short. Either study hard and get the job, or overthink it and join that ninety-nine percent. Don’t always try to be clever—sometimes be a fool. There’s no other alternative. This is what they call employment. Accept it and stay, or reject it and leave. Jobs are terribly vexing things.
: You’re speaking harsh truths, brother.
: I’m compelled to speak them. You’ve done plenty of research on BCS, good for you. Tell me, when you send CV after CV to private companies and they don’t call back for no reason at all, doesn’t that make you angry? The nepotism practiced there—not even ten percent of it exists in the civil service. I’ve seen corporate culture up close. Much more goes on there. Let’s not go down that path. But I don’t hear anyone complaining about that. Or does it feel better to curse the government? Bad culture exists everywhere. You have to decide how much you’re willing to accept.
: Brother, you’re getting angry. Alright, I accept that civil service is good.
: Hahahaha… Listen, there’s no such thing as a good job in this world. “Good job”—to me, that’s the finest example of an oxymoron. Still, one must work. What else can we do? I don’t have the capacity for business. You know why I get angry when someone says something wrong about BCS? There may be many flaws in this system. Where aren’t there flaws? But this system has given ordinary students of our country a chance to live with dignity. They too dream of living well. Let me tell you about myself. My undergraduate CGPA was 2.74. With this CGPA, you can’t even sit for most job exams, let alone get hired. A student with results as poor as mine shouldn’t even expect employment. But I too, like any other boy, want to work, want to see my parents happy. Given the state of the job market, it amazes me to think that even I have a job. This alone means everything to me. I’m grateful to this system for giving someone like me the opportunity to work.
: Brother, I understand. I got quite a scolding at the start of the new year, but it was beneficial. I’ll call sometimes for more scolding. Please don’t mind. One last thing?
: Go ahead.
: Brother, I too want to become a cadre like you, but I don’t feel like studying. What can be done? Please brother, don’t scold me.
: You want to hear “mother” called out to you, but don’t want to get married—that just doesn’t work.
: Okay, brother, that’s enough—no need for more. I’ve gotten my answer. Take very good care of yourself.
: Hahahaha… All right then, you take very good care too.