The Philosophy of Love

People transform themselves and find the strength to move forward from two sources:

One. From the blood in their heart and the tears in their eyes.
Two. From the sweat of their body.

And those whose heart's blood and tears combined refuse to let them sleep, constantly striking at their mind and brain, forcing their body to perspire—for as long as life endures—no force on earth can hold them back.

Emotion is a wonderful thing, provided it's used to keep yourself well. There's truly no point in wasting it on someone who doesn't value your feelings. I don't believe you can force anyone to do anything. Whatever happens, there's no greater art than knowing how to delete the wrong person from your brain. Can't delete them? No problem—just keep yourself steady, focus on other work. Grit your teeth and stay silent if you must; the rest will happen on its own. Never make hasty decisions under any circumstances. Let time pass—there's no greater magician than time when it comes to handling situations. Remember: the more you suffer over someone, the more you harm yourself. This isn't emotion—this is mental illness.

Is there really any meaning in living recklessly for the wrong person? What does it accomplish? Will you cause them pain? If you can cause them pain, then I'd say you don't actually love them—you're just trying to win a game of ego. Will you cause yourself pain? Can you think of anything more foolish? You're tormenting yourself for someone who doesn't even have time to notice your suffering.

Do you love someone? That's beautiful. Two things will help this love keep you well. First, step away from expecting them to love you back. Love isn't a bilateral reaction—most love in this world is one-sided. Second, abandon the strange notion that they'll stay by your side forever. People are like free birds—you can't chain their feet.

Compared to love itself, the person you love is a rather insignificant entity. You can hold onto love, but not the person you love. If you try to forcibly hold onto both, infinite torment will always be your portion. Living is joyful. Living with love is even more joyful—whether the person you love is beside you or not. Look around: those whom people live with or are forced to live with—people spend their entire lives trying but never manage to love them. Being able to stay together and being able to love—these are completely different matters.

You know what happens to us? In our obsession with loving the wrong person, we forget to even look at those who love us! If you expect love in return for love, then I'd say you don't know how to love at all. Crushed under the weight of your expectations, that person will eventually develop disgust. Once disgust enters someone's heart, whatever else may remain, love certainly doesn't—it gradually departs. If you want to keep love alive in your beloved's heart, never let disgust for you take root there.

Your beloved doesn't want to be with you despite all efforts? Let them go! Why degrade your self-respect so much? Does force ever work? You can't even force a pet dog's love, let alone a human being's!

It's also possible that they do love you, but they simply can't bear your excessive expectations and reckless behavior. Meanwhile, you can't extricate yourself from these patterns either. It's okay! Find someone else. Our heart isn't a slave to be locked in one room for life.

It would be wonderful if you could be like a river's current. Flow forward, enjoy beauty, indulge love if you wish, but never get stuck anywhere. You'll certainly suffer if you get trapped. As the mind ages, expectations diminish. In matters of love, if you don't torment yourself, no one else in this world has the power to torment you. You love and yet suffer? You alone are responsible for this. Your expectations, your need for control, and your ego won't let you be well.

To love is to know how to let go.
If they return, they are yours.
If they don't return, someone else is yours.
Getting someone and loving someone—these are never the same thing.
That's it!