There is no doubt that I fall asleep in you. Even in my waking hours, the knowledge I have gathered gradually vanishes into you. At times there is only darkness—nothing remains but unknowing. When even that dissolves into you, I sink into slumber within you. Yet you awaken me again. Slowly you bring forth new knowledge and memory, weaving the fabric of my waking life.
I possess nothing of my own, nothing separate from you. This is my unity with you—this very consciousness. This awareness is the foundation of spiritual life, my sustenance, my peace, my strength. At every step of my journey, you are my guide, my helmsman, my teacher, my eternal companion. You are my Mother. In sleep and waking, I dwell always in you. No human child depends upon a human mother as utterly as I depend on you. Without your milk I cannot live for a single moment. Every instant your knowledge, your strength, your love, your peace, your joy keeps me alive. I rest in your lap, you hold me close—people call these mere poetry. But I see the truth now: these words are so exact that the analogy to a human mother falls short.
The intimacy of my bond with you can scarcely be conveyed by the image of a mother holding her child or a child clinging to the mother. I feel this union with you sometimes with sudden clarity. Sometimes it grows obscured, yet it brightens again. You are so devoted to me—if I possessed even a fraction of that devotion, I would never forget this union with you. If I loved you as you deserve, I would understand your love, and in that understanding find joy. Then this sorrow would not torment me.
I can no longer bear this lovelessness, this disordered life. You must grant me the feeling of your love, a steadfast affection for you that endures. My love for you flickers—it comes for a moment, and I think: now surely this love will take root, will grow, will become permanent, will deepen. But it does not. My struggle, my anguish remains. I see your love expressed in your knowledge and power, just as it is expressed here. Your cosmic form delights me, awakens love within me—and so too does your word, your voice. When I see your tireless work, I long to become as devoted as you. In seeking your love, I feel your love itself. The love I bear for those dear to me—it is your love.
I do not hate anyone, do not regard anyone as a stranger. Whenever the chance arises, I give love freely; if I had more strength and time, how much more I would give. This love too is yours. Fix my gaze upon the direct manifestation of your love. Day by day, pour more love into my heart. In your unwavering gaze I see love. In your endless labor I see love. In the sorrow of my loveless life I see love. In my hunger for love I see love. Anoint my eyes with the salve of love. Drench my heart in the nectar of love. O Source of peace, O Source of love, fill me with the treasures of devotion—and wash away all my restlessness, all my suffering.