Position First, Marriage Later

Marriage is a strange thing in this world. There can be many paths to knowing a person. The most foolproof path is this: marry them. That is, only by marrying someone can you truly know what kind of person they really are!

You might love someone for ten whole years! After those ten years of love, if you marry them, the marriage might fall apart within three months! Perhaps they don't like who you are. You don't like who they are. You might say in amazement, "I never saw this side of them in all those ten years!"

What's the reason? Very simple! For those ten years, they had a desire to win you. Once they've got you, what's the problem in showing their true face! They reveal their real self then. When you marry and go into your in-laws' family, you might see a very different face of that family, you might witness some petty behavior from that family!

Even Rabindranath Tagore's own daughter was tormented at her in-laws' house over dowry! When Rabindranath Tagore himself went to his daughter's in-laws' house, he wasn't given a proper seat, he wasn't received with honor! Can you imagine! Where do you and I stand that we think such noble thoughts about this matter! In the family you marry into, whether for dowry or any other reason, you might face persecution, unjustly! If you have no pillar of support then, no financial backing, what will you do if you leave that relationship!?

Let me tell you another truth. Women who have financial support, who have jobs, are treated with more respect in their in-laws' families. When speaking to them, their husbands speak thoughtfully, the in-laws' family members think before they speak too! Money is a great motivation for most people—you must keep this in mind. You shouldn't work just for money, but when you work, you also create a social position for yourself. Then when people want to say something to you, they'll think at least ten times.

Take my own case. It's easy to say many things to me on Facebook, in comments. But coming to my office and saying those things is very difficult—remember this. I challenge you all. If you have the courage, come to my office and say those nonsensical things. I'm always at the office, you'll find me there every day from nine to at least five. Sometimes work pressure keeps me till eight. Come to my office! Have some tea and say those things, if you have the guts. Let's have our conversation face to face!

Let me share a real experience. I have one dedicated commentator-hater; he writes various nonsense about me on Facebook—on my wall, his own wall, and various places; I know him. My office was then in Agrabad. One day I saw him come to the office for some work. After coming to the office, I saw him enter the Commissioner's room, and I said to that gentleman, "Brother, how are you?" In our office veranda, he was flustered and said, "Sir, I'm fine." I said, "Why are you stuttering?" In reply he says, "Sir, sir...! I'm a huge fan of yours! A great devotee! Seeing you face to face, I can't speak properly, sir!"

Fan-devotee-whatever—hearing these things feels terribly fake, creates a bad feeling! I don't believe these things. I mean, I actually understand that you're trying to fool me with such talk. I told him, "Oh, I see! Thank you, brother! Thank you! I think I know you." Yes, I recognized him very well. Because his job is to go to each of Sushanta Pal's posts and leave bad comments. He's an executive at some company. He's a representative of one of our respected stakeholders, a taxpayer.

Then I told him, "Brother, when you finish your work, please come to my room for a moment. That's my room, where I sit, please come, okay? We two brothers will have tea together." ...I said it exactly like this... "Brother, we two brothers will have tea together, I'll chat with you." Meanwhile, his mind is going "police-police!" A thief's mind, so "police-police!" He definitely won't come to my room. Meanwhile, I'm telling my orderly, "Brother, please see, after he comes out of the Commissioner's room, bring him to my room, we'll sit together and have tea. Please put biscuits on a plate, I want to talk a little. I know him. He's my friend."

My orderly went to that man and requested him so much, saying, "Brother, Sushanta Sir is calling you, please come." Dear readers, believe me, hearing my orderly's words, he would have run away if he could! He says, "I won't come today. I have work!" My orderly says, "Sir, he won't come. He says he has work at the office!" I came out of my room! Coming out, I said, "Brother, please come, I want to talk to you for two minutes! I need to talk to you. I need to know some things."

The reason for calling him like that—I've seen him say such nasty things coming to my wall, making such disgusting posts and comments about me in various places, this matter is a bit uncomfortable for me! I tell him, "Brother, please come, no problem, we'll just have tea." Then you know what he says! In a trembling voice he says, "Sir, I really need to use the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom!" Meanwhile, I'm persistent too! I said, "Brother, we have a washroom here, you can use the washroom." Hearing this he says, "No, sir! I also have work at the office. The MD sir is calling me. I have to go right now."

Saying just this, he literally ran away from there! That's why I say, it's difficult to come and speak in front of Sushanta Pal. You can write many things in comments like that, but you won't have the courage to say much when you come face to face! I've reached that position, the Creator has brought me to that position, I'm grateful to the Creator. You too can reach that position. Try to reach that position! Good thing is, I thought that boy was unemployed, his only job: serving faithfully as my hater. Later I saw, no, he's not unemployed, he's a distinguished escape artist!

I'm telling the girls, if you enter your in-laws' house before reaching a good position, you'll have to manage your household there taking many risks! How much you can handle those risks, how much you can take on your head—that's all your matter. Whatever anyone tells you, girl, when you suffer, when you go through pain—write down my words somewhere, if you have paper in front of you, truly write it down—then you won't find anyone by your side. Then you won't find people to listen to your sorrows! Then you won't find people to share your pain with! Those who are speaking big words now, creating explanations and misinterpretations from various religious perspectives at will, try calling any of them, they won't even receive your call then. Of course, even if they do receive it, it won't benefit you much. Most people of that type belong to the worthless group.

Girl, try to build your own destiny yourself. Try to take your own responsibility yourself. No one will take your responsibility! No one will, no one, no one! I who am speaking so much now, I won't even be able to recognize you then! I don't have time, how can I receive calls! But these words I'm saying, keep them in mind. If you keep these words in mind, ultimately it will be good for you, it will be beneficial for you, your life will be beautiful, your future will be beautiful, you'll avoid some pointless suffering, you'll avoid some intense humiliation. If you have your own financial security, you can live with dignity and your head held high in your in-laws' family. Keep these things in mind.

Getting married isn't everything in life. Living with dignity is everything in life. In-laws' house, family—these aren't everything in life. Living beautifully is everything in life. Keep these in mind. You didn't come to this world to live enduring humiliation at every step. Let your life be beautiful. If your life becomes beautiful, it doesn't matter to me at all! You won't cook me a meal. I won't eat even one meal at your in-laws' house. But if you're well, I'll feel good. If my one word can change your life, if you can make the right decision at the right time, then I'll feel joy, I'll feel peace. The words are spoken from that place. The words are spoken from the desire to see you in happiness and peace. Nothing else!