Love's corpse does not float

Beautiful women know no boundaries of country or time. A beautiful woman can exist anywhere. Though it may sound unbelievable, it’s true—even engineering is no longer a forbidden field for beautiful women!

This was a little over five years ago. I hadn’t been in my job very long. An older brother from CUET called and asked if I was thinking about marriage. I told him I wasn’t thinking about it too seriously, but if I did, it wouldn’t be a problem—I was more or less ready. He said, “There’s a girl from CUET, ** batch, just moved to second year, studies in *** department, tall, very good-looking. You could take a look.” “Brother, she studies at CUET and she’s good-looking too! How’s that possible? Hahahaha…” “Don’t joke around, brother. The girl’s uncle is someone I know. I thought she’d suit you, so I told him about you on my own. Though he wasn’t initially agreeable, when I mentioned you, he became willing to consider marriage. The uncle knows you—he’s seen you in Prothom Alo. Tell me if you’re interested.” “Brother, what’s her height like?” “Around 5’5″.” “Very good! Okay brother, give me her Facebook link, I’ll check it out.” “You don’t need to check anything out, she’s a very good girl. You just see if you like her. I’m sending you the link.”

I went to the link; **** Datta. I looked, I liked what I saw. A simple, sweet type of girl. She doesn’t dress up much, and she doesn’t need to either. Sharp nose, beautifully shaped eyes. Her gaze and hair were also attractive. The girl even wears sarees. Her figure seems to sway in the breeze. Seeing some pictures taken in nature, she seemed like nature’s own daughter. I quite liked her. I decided I’d meet the girl through family channels. I called the brother. “Brother, I’ve seen her, I like her. Who knows if she’ll like me!” “What’s there not to like about you?” “There’s plenty. Well brother, the girl doesn’t have any affairs, does she?” “Not that I know of.” “Still, tell them to ask the girl once.” “I told the uncle to ask.” “Did he say no?” “The uncle said, ‘Do you have to ask the fish before catching fish from a pond? Our girl is very quiet, she’s not into all that.’” “No brother, still it’s necessary to ask. Often there are problems later.” “Sushanta, looking at the girl, it doesn’t seem like she could have affairs.” “Brother, in these matters there’s no such thing as ‘it doesn’t seem like it.’ You tell them to ask her directly.” “Alright, fine.”

Confirmed news came—the girl herself had said she had no affairs. I was very pleased to know this. So there are still some noble-hearted beautiful girls in this world who, thinking of people like us—lifelong singles—haven’t gotten boyfriends or are sitting around after breakups, whom one can say ‘I love you’ to without any discomfort! Ah, ah! “Brother, should I tell mother to call them?” (Father is quite shy about these matters, whatever needs doing, mother has to do it.) “No, you give me auntie’s number, the girl’s uncle will call.” Jumping with joy, I gave him mother’s number. The call came. “…Sister, would you please call my elder brother? I’m giving you the number. No trouble, I’ve told him about you all.” “Alright brother, I’ll call him tomorrow.”

Quarter to 12 at night. A text came in my Facebook inbox. The sender wasn’t on my friend list. “Brother, could I get your number? I had some things to say. It’s very, very urgent that I say these things.” It was that girl! My heart jumped. “Why the number? What will she say?” I gave the number. Immediately the phone rang. “Brother, namaskar. I’m ****. There’s talk at our house about marriage between you and me. Uncle probably called your mother. Right?” (I said in a nervous, shaky voice…) “Yes, that’s right.” “Brother, I’m like your little sister…” “What???” (I clearly heard myself say that almost shouting, in momentary infinite hurt and amazement!) “Yes brother, I’m your sister. Will you help this sister a little?” (I said in a serious voice…) “Tell me, what do you want to say.” “Don’t get angry, brother. Only being completely helpless made me call you. I need to tell you something very important. For the past year and a half, I’ve known a boy. We both love each other very, very much. I can’t live without him, brother. Please help this sister. Please, brother!” “I told your family to talk to you. Didn’t they ask you anything?” “They did, brother. But I couldn’t say anything out of fear. Father is very hot-tempered. If I said something like this, he’d kill me. Besides, he’s still a student, hasn’t been able to stand on his own feet.” “So what can I do?” “Brother, you’ll say you didn’t like me.” “I can’t lie. And I’ve already said I liked you.” “Brother, I’m like your sister. Please. Save me.” “Alright, I’ll see.” “Thank you so, so much, brother. God will bless you. Good night.” Without saying anything else, I hung up. I was getting terribly angry with myself. Could I ever have imagined that such a successful partial staging of the movie ‘Rosa’ would happen in my life? Why did I have to like that girl? Is she someone else’s lover? Or is it that she’s not meant to be mine? Are all of God’s jokes written just for me? Why must I always be the tragic hero? Why does the tune of separation play in my life even before union? I couldn’t even fall in love properly, yet how disgracefully I’m sitting here having been rejected! Why why why???

Getting up from sleep, I told mother, “Don’t call the girl’s father for now. Call when I tell you later.” Reaching the office in the morning, I immediately called the girl’s uncle. “Uncle, namaskar. This is Sushanta speaking. I called to tell you some things. Do you have time now?” “My boy, it’s you! What news? Tell me, tell me!” “Uncle, mother won’t call uncle today. Some problems have arisen.” “What kind?” “Uncle, actually I have a relationship with a girl. The relationship is of long standing. I was a bit confused about this relationship. But now I feel I’ll marry that girl.” “Meaning? Where were you before? Why didn’t you call me earlier?” “Uncle, I couldn’t tell you anything out of embarrassment. Please forgive me.” “Have you gone crazy? I told my sister’s family so many good things about you and convinced them, and what are you saying now? They weren’t even willing to marry her off so quickly. What? *** didn’t tell me anything!” “Uncle, *** brother has no fault, all the fault is mine. I didn’t tell brother anything.” “Oh I see, I understand. Listen my boy, my simple, innocent niece has been saved. Boys like you consider girls’ parents worthless. You think girls’ parents are like toy dolls who’ll dance however you make them dance! You’ve done big studies, got a big job too, but you still haven’t become human. You only have the certificate, there’s no knowledge inside. Shame! Didn’t you even feel ashamed! We were going to have relations with a bad family like yours! You’ve ruined all my honor with sister and brother-in-law!” “Uncle, I’m repentant. Please forgive me.” “Forgive what? You’re not a child anymore, my boy! Listen, learn to respect people as human beings and fix your character. Just being established isn’t enough.” “Uncle, I…” I couldn’t say anything more, the phone was cut.

That was the end of that relationship. No one ever knew anything. My family knows that from that night on, for some ‘mysterious’ reason, the girl’s face suddenly started to displease me. My younger brother said right to my face, “Brother, why are you so picky? What’s wrong with the girl? Rather, you yourself aren’t worthy of her. Even such a beautiful girl doesn’t please you! You have no marriage in your fate! You’ll stay like this your whole life!” No one knew anything; only I knew, she knew, and the cruel Creator. No one else, no one else!!

Well, why am I even calling it a relationship? A relationship that never began, ended before it started—why does even that relationship make one cry, can anyone tell me? Yes, even today thinking of her makes me moody, makes me regret my own foolish generosity. . . . . . . . It wouldn’t have, if she hadn’t graduated from CUET and married another boy of her parents’ choice.

What is love? Love is that pointless relationship that prevents the formation of another meaningful relationship.

Did anyone get upset at what I just said? Alright, alright, fine, fine! I take back my words. No! Love is a very vitamin-rich thing—there’s danger if you don’t consume it, and great danger if you do!!