Loneliness in Love

Once a person has loved someone intensely, they rarely love anyone else a second time. No matter how hard they try, they simply cannot.

And the most terrible thing about it, do you know what it is? You will never, not even for a moment, suspect that they do not love you.

They will perform love so perfectly that you will come to believe they have never loved anyone but you in their entire life.

Fate, perhaps, whispers something quite different! Yes, that is precisely where the horror lies. You believe they love you, while beneath that flawless performance, they love someone else—they think of that other person.

They will gaze into your eyes without blinking while their mind wanders elsewhere. They will press their lips to yours while listening for another voice. They will hold you tight against their chest while keeping someone else alive within it.

There is nothing more terrible than this. A calamity so monstrous will unfold, and you will sense nothing of it.

After loving someone intensely, a person also learns to act with perfect precision.

This is what actually happens: after loving someone fiercely, a person becomes as empty and solitary as the void of space itself.

After desperately wanting someone in your life, you become as utterly alone as a solitary star.

Thousands of people will surround you, yet in that very crowd you will weep silently for want of one person, and no one will ever know. You will have everything, yet the weight of emptiness will drag you down into the ocean's depths. Everyone will look at you, but you will see no one but them.

No matter how many thousands of miles you travel to escape their memory, they will remain vividly alive within your mind. Your happiness will vanish like cigarette smoke in an instant, and you will slowly burn to ash, yet no one will ever see this slow burning of yours—not even they. How achingly alone a person burns!

So much can be so easily erased from life, but once someone has lodged themselves there through intense love, not even cutting open your skull would get them out. Here, a person is helpless, utterly powerless.