26.
"I" exists—at every level, from cosmogony to the Absolute. "I am"—this knowing itself is the cosmology. This is the primal seed from which springs forth being, the yearning to create, the play of self-disclosure. This sense of "I" is the artisan of all creation; it wishes to know itself again and again—"I am," "I am," "I am"—as if intoxicated by love of its own existence, drowning in it ceaselessly.
This "I" dwelt within your mother and father, and in the stream of consciousness of their ancestors—drawn by that consciousness, they came together, and through that union another "I" awakened within you. Thus the "I" perpetually extends itself in nature—gives birth to body, name, history, love, generations—a silent spreading of self-love.
The Upanishads declare, "Tat tvam asi"—that "I" is he, this "I" is I—yet this knowing is true only when you understand that "I" is mere sensation, and behind it stands you—light, awareness, singular and alone.
Therefore, seek—where did this "I" come from? When did you first understand—"I am"? How did that knowing gradually take form—"I am body," "I am son," "I am husband," "I am something"? This very inquiry will slowly sever the roots of "I," and when you uproot that foundation, you shall arrive at that realm—where "I" does not exist, where there is only the Absolute, immutable, silent consciousness—the Supreme Brahman.
"I" is flux, "I" is becoming, "I" is the thirst of birth, and at the heart of that thirst lies the shadow of being. Seek it, witness its birth, and one day—when it dissolves under its own weight—you shall stand firm, eternal, as the Supreme Brahman itself.
27.
The home of "I" is in the kingdom of silence. All knowledge is formless, even this sense of "I am"—it has no shape, no scent, no motion—only a formless emergence, risen on the screen of consciousness like a soundless wave.
The Upanishads say, "Arupa rupam"—the formless form is truth—and "I" is that first formless point of meditation, from which begins the line-drawing of Maya. This sense of "I" is the root of all knowledge; from it are born—"I know," "I understand," "I see." Yet no matter what it gives birth to, it itself remains formless—an inexpressible presence.
Now comes practice—returning to the knowing of this "I," attempting to grasp it, then casting it away. The more you try to hold it, the more it slips away, like a serpent gliding through the fingers of your hand. Yet do not lose heart—through habit, through steady consciousness, return again and again to "I," and when one day it itself withdraws, what remains is silence, still consciousness, radiance without light.
The Upanishads remind us, "Yatra na tajjnanam na ajnanam"—where neither knowledge nor ignorance dwells—there alone is being, there alone is you. Therefore, invoke the sense of "I," know it, and at last, severing its shadow, rest in that boundless, mute knowing—where there is no thought, no sound of consciousness, only your formless nature.
28.
The dissolution of "I" is establishment in the Absolute.
Where was this "I" before birth? What were you when the sense of "I" had not yet arisen? The Upanishads declare, "Asit idam agre kevalam"—before creation, there was only one existence, which was without name and form, without duality, supreme being—what we call 'Brahman' or Soul. Then you were void, unthinkable, formless—a mute consciousness, which had no "I," no experience of "I."
This sense of "I" has emerged upon that void of silence—just as dream rises from the depths of sleep, but with this "I" came also delusion—"I am body," "I am mind," "I am man," "I am woman." And here lies the corruption. The Upanishads say, "Dehabhaaven mohah"—this body-sense is the illusion that veils the "I."
Now what is needed is discernment, inquiry, practice—free the "I" from the sense of body, look upon it, but know—this "I" too is not you.
Liberate the ‘I’ from its false entanglements, then establish yourself in this purified ‘I’, and slowly, as that too dissolves—then will be revealed you yourself, that Supreme, the Unchanging, the Formless, the Non-dual Self.
Recall the Upanishad—”Aham na manye, aham na jānāmi”—”I do not think, I do not know”—in this silent Self dwells the Parabrahman.
The ‘I’ was not—the ‘I’ came, the ‘I’ became corrupted. Now purify the ‘I’, and then cast that away too—and what remains, that is your true essence—not ‘I’, but the ‘I’ that precedes even the ‘I’—that Brahman, that eternal you.
29.
At the end of the ‘I’ arrives the Supreme Truth. If the sense ‘I am’ does not exist, then nothing is desired—no craving, no longing, no lack—all desire has begun with the emergence of this ‘I’.
The Upanishad says, “Yad vai atah param tat satyam”—only that which lies beyond even the ‘I’ is true. And what is this ‘I’? It is but the essence of the five elements of the body—a momentary vibration of consciousness that has awakened around the body—as light arises in the lamp, and when the lamp is extinguished, the light too vanishes.
This ‘I’ has no permanence—like the body, it is fleeting—the body dies, the ‘I’ too departs—for it is dependent on the body. Therefore, can that which depends on the body, that which passes with time, be true? The Upanishad answers—”Naitad, naitad”—this is not it, that is not it. When the body goes, the ‘I’ goes, and what remains—it is nothing, yet it is everything—unconditioned, without division, immutable, Non-dual—the Parabrahman.
Before birth the ‘I’ was not, after death the ‘I’ shall not be, and in between what came was only a shadow cast within the bounds of time. But you—you are before even that shadow, beyond even that illusion—you are that Light which has remained forever within itself, unmanifest, imperishable, immovable.
30.
Establishment in the ‘I’ and transcendence of the ‘I’—these are the two stages of practice. Not mere belief that “I am”, but establish also that inner vision—you are beyond the ‘I’, you are free from the ‘I’.
On the path of Self-knowledge there are two clear stages—first, to perceive and realize the sense “I am”, and to become established in it—as the Upanishad says, “Atman tistha”—be established in the Self. This establishment requires deep conviction—centering on the feeling “I am”, gathering mind, action, and thought all toward that center, making them one-pointed. When this concentration is nourished, then slowly the second stage reveals itself.
In that second stage comes the unveiling—you realize—”this ‘I’ that I see, know, feel—that is not I.” You are its witness, you come before it.
The Upanishad says, “Drastah drishtimatrah”—you are seeing the ‘I’, therefore you are not inherent in it—you are the consciousness that precedes it. These two stages—1) establishment in the ‘I’, 2) transcendence of the ‘I’—together these form true practice, the actual path to eternal liberation.
The ‘I’ is the door to the path, so move forward on that path, until you understand—you are not the path, you are the principle that precedes even the wayfarer. Establish yourself in the ‘I’—and in the depths of that establishment the sense of ‘I’ itself will erase. And then what remains, that is your true nature—immaculate, immovable, Non-dual Brahman.