16.
"I"—both friend and bond. "I exist"—this very sensation is your greatest enemy, and yet your closest companion. When it binds you to the body, it becomes the enemy as fetter. But when it seeks to liberate you from bodily illusion, it becomes the ally and guru.
When this sense of "I" first awakened in your consciousness, it taught you—"You are this body," this name, this form, this story. This belief gave birth to delusion, created the separation of "I" and "you"—and from this confusion arose the theatre of birth, death, suffering, and pride.
The Upanishads declare: "In this body, to regard the body as the self is the gravest transgression"—binding yourself to flesh through false identification is the root sin, and from this error springs all anguish. Yet today the guru's voice calls: "Return, return to that sense of 'I exist'—know it, realize it." Accept this "I" now as a friend, revere it with the guru's knowledge—in its silent presence lies hidden the path to liberation.
And when you dwell within "I exist," but bypass its name, form, and identity, then it shall lead you toward its source—where there is no "I," no "you," no body, no duality—only truth, consciousness, bliss—the indivisible Brahman.
The sense of "I" is the gatekeeper of duality, yet through the guru's word it becomes the gateway to non-duality.
Both bondage and freedom begin with "I," but to know freedom you must understand—you are not the "I," but something before it—you are that consciousness in which "I" emerges, and into which it silently dissolves.
17.
"I"—the primal center of the wheel of knowledge. Knowledge begins with "I," knowledge ends with "I." From this single point radiates countless ideas, and through all the confusion of intellect, you must return to that one point.
The Upanishads say: "The knower and the known"—the journey of knowing and being known starts where the "I" is. The first awareness—"I exist"—gives birth to "I know," "I understand," "I am this."
The "I"—this primary sensation becomes the foundation upon which the labyrinth of knowledge is built. From one to two, from two to three—countless distinctions, names, forms, relationships take shape. Yet all paths originate from a single point—and if you seek liberation, you must return to that point.
Return into the "I"—meditate upon it, observe this sensation with unwavering attention; you will see that this "I" is merely a sensation—a primal shadow that has arisen in consciousness.
And when you truly understand the "I," you are no longer within it—you become its witness, its transcendence—the clearer this sense of "I" becomes, the deeper your separation from it grows.
The Upanishads declare: "He who sees is the true seer." And one who beholds the "I" is no longer the "I"—he is something prior—he is consciousness, witness, the formless absolute.
If all knowledge converges at a single point, that center itself transcends knowledge—the "I" is that gateway—step beyond it and you enter illusion, step deeper within it and you discover Brahman.
18.
"I"—the first ignorance, the first door. Meditate upon "I exist," but not holding the hand of body and mind. This very sense of "I" is the first ignorance—the first delusion that has drawn you into maya's wheel, making you believe—"I am the body, I am the mind, I am the person."
The Upanishads say: "Through ignorance one crosses over death"—through ignorance, that is, through action, worship, and disciplines of the sense-world, one may traverse the cycle of birth and death (samsara)—yet this does not bring liberation or immortality.
“Vidyaya Amritam Ashnuté”—through self-knowledge or wisdom, unity with the Supreme Self is attained, which is immortality—eternal existence—and ignorance first set foot in this perception: “I am.”
Now, if you wish to know the truth, turn back toward this primordial feeling—gather all your attention upon this ‘I am,’ meditate upon it, observe it, but you must do so with body and mind set aside.
At first the body will resist, the mind will scatter outward, and they will insist—”You are me!”, “You are thought!”, “You are flesh!” But remain unmoved; again and again, bring the mind back to the silent center of that feeling.
The sense of ‘I’ itself is that first door—which opens on one side toward illusion, and through meditation and inquiry, using that very door, you can pass toward consciousness beyond illusion.
Remember, this sense of ‘I’ has deceived you, this very feeling has made you believe in unreality—”I am this.”
Therefore, do not abandon it; seize hold of it, dig into it, hollow it out. Only then will it itself open the path toward its source—where there is no ‘I,’ only Brahman.
The sense of ‘I’ is the first sleep, yet within that very ‘I’ lies the seed of awakening. And so the Upanishads remind us—”Arise. Awake. Pass beyond the door of ‘I’ toward yourself.”
Your guru, your God—it is this very sense “I am.” With its arising began duality, creation, action—before there was infinite silence, there was only—you, who speaks neither ‘I’ nor ‘you’—only ‘is.’
With the feeling “I am” arises division—seer and seen, doer and deed, the desire to know and the object of knowing. The Upanishads declare, “Dvitiyat vai bhayam bhavati”—where there is duality, there begins fear, conflict, and separation.
This sense of ‘I’ is that first particle which sends ripples across the clear water of consciousness, and from those ripples the world is born, time begins, relationships emerge. Therefore, if you seek liberation, follow this ‘I,’ meditate upon it, sit silently and feel its rising and falling.
And when you penetrate its depths, then you will understand—this ‘I’ arose upon you, and you were before it, and you will be after it—you are that silent witness—who merely is, endures—knows nothing, yet is conscious.
The Upanishads proclaim—”Yena na janen bhuyasam jnanam tena vinas’yati”—even knowledge of ‘I’ is a kind of delusion—however long it may persist, it will one day dissolve completely.
With ‘I’ came the theater of the world, but you are that light upon the stage—whose brilliance was unshaken even before ‘I’ arose. Therefore, know not the ‘I,’ but know the source of ‘I’—know that you.
“I”—a border post of illusion. The notion “I am”—the last guardian of illusion—this is the final frontier, the uttermost shadow—cross this and personality ends, name and form are renounced. As there is no man’s land when crossing from one country to another, so when leaving the realm of illusion—”I” is that final border post—beyond it there is no country, no identity, no path, no footprint.
The Upanishads say, “Nayam atma pravacanena labhyah”—this Self cannot be grasped by words, cannot be reached by going—only he who knows how to erase himself obtains it.
Therefore, establish yourself in the deep center of “I am,” dwell in that feeling, but do not touch “I am this” or “I am that.” Stand only in that soundless interior; you will see, after a time you are no longer ‘a person’—releasing name, form, and history, you dissolve into silent infinitude.
The sense of ‘I’ is that final door—touch it, but pass through; embrace it, but do not cling; for it is the last illusion—in its dissolution lies the path to freedom.
‘I’ is the final curtain—beyond it there is no ‘I,’ no ‘you,’ no separateness—only being remains—inconceivable, formless, beyond all description—Brahman.
# Translation
So then, dwell in the 'I', and dissolve yourself into your former self.