76.
As you came into existence, so too runs the path to liberation—transcend the 'I' by passing through the 'I' itself. From non-being to being, from the unmarked to the marked, from the attributeless to the attributed—the gateway to all of this is a single wordless knowing: "I am." This sense of 'I'—it came once, unbidden, without will or reason. And coming, it declared: "You are"—from here everything began.
The Upanishads say: "Sa isha praveshati"—that supreme consciousness enters through the door named 'I,' and through that very path returns again to unconditioned awareness. Now the guru teaches—just as the 'I' emerged from the unmarked, so too, by dwelling fully in the 'I' and transcending it, you shall return to that non-existence—which is in truth your original, eternal nature.
But this liberation demands complete immersion in the 'I,' holding its wordless sensation in your heart—until it dissolves of itself into that non-existence—where nothing can be known, nothing can be spoken, yet all being lies concealed within. The Upanishads say: "Avript chetana leenam Brahma"—when consciousness itself merges into its own source, then occurs the establishment of the supreme Brahman.
The path by which the 'I' came is the path to liberation. The door to exit and the door to enter are one and the same. Now your only duty is this—abide completely in the sense of 'I,' and wait—until it dissolves of itself and merges into your true, non-dual, experiential-transcendent, formless consciousness. Then no one will remain to declare—"I am," for there will be only silent being, which neither exists nor does not exist—yet stands eternally behind all things.
77.
At this very moment—you are the supreme Brahman, you are omnipresent, formless, eternally pure consciousness. But where lies the problem? You do not stand at the source of 'I,' you have drifted away into the identities, thoughts, and feelings that cling to you. The Upanishads declare: "Advitiyam, nirupdhikam, svaroope sthitam"—the supreme Brahman is one and indivisible, free from all conditions, and its nature is to stand eternally in itself. Now the guru says—return to that 'I' as you first felt it—when you experienced "I am," there was no language, no name, no personality—only a pure presence. Abide fully in this wordless 'I,' as a concentrated seeker remains steady at the source of the stream.
What then? If you remain established in that pure 'I' forever, then one day it will dissolve of itself, as a dream dissolves into waking, as a lamp's flame dies when the sun rises. What will remain then—you yourself, whom you always were, but had forgotten. The Upanishads say: "Yah sthitah tasya lay na bhavati"—for one established in their own nature, dissolution and separation do not occur. You are already the supreme Brahman—you have simply forgotten yourself.
Therefore this practice—strip away all identities and return to the wordless 'I,' and abide in it until it dissolves of itself in the light of your true nature. Then there will remain only you—transcendent of experience, unchanging, silent, omnipresent. You who were never born, will never die, will never be entangled in change—for you have always stood eternal within yourself.
78.
Not 'who am I,' but 'I am'—in this alone lies the gate of return. You were never born, you were never made, you existed—in a silent, invisible, experiential-transcendent consciousness. And in that very consciousness, one day there suddenly arose—a dream-like sensation—"I am."
The Upanishads say: "Aj san na bhavati"—he who was never born experiences existence only as illusion. This sense of 'I'—it belongs to no person, it did not come through anyone's will or decision, as sleep suddenly brings a dream—so too came this 'I'—upon a birthless, unconditioned consciousness. Therefore the guru says—"Who came, who felt it—this is not important. Who you are, what identity—this too is not the essential matter. Simply abide in that sense of 'I'—which is knowable without any word."
In that state, there is neither person, nor history, nor future.
Only one pure, unborn Being, in whose breast this ‘I’ has come like a dream—and now you need not return to that dream, but rather stand still, observe—as it came, so it will dissolve. No more than that.
The Upanishads say: “Remembrance alone establishes one in one’s own nature”—remembrance is enough—to abide in this ‘I’-consciousness, nothing more need be done. Not an attempt to understand who the person is, but to observe the ‘I’-consciousness as it first arrived—wordless, astonished, spontaneous. You dwelt in that unborn void, now only return—standing firm in ‘I’, as if it dissolves of itself, and you are established once more in your eternal nature—in Brahman.
79.
Return to ‘aham’—there will dawn the knowledge ‘aham brahmasmi’. First came a silent sensation—”aham”—I am. Then that ‘aham’ took form and said—”I am this body,” “I am this name,” “I am so-and-so.” Then it transformed—”aham + form” = ego.
The Upanishads say: “The Self, this ‘aham’ consciousness, has assumed the human form.” But the original ‘aham’—it is no body, no name, no identity. It was merely a wordless presence—which spoke nothing, only was. Now the Guru says—”Abandon this form. Body, identity, character, history—all this is ego. Return now to that original point—abide in pure ‘aham’ consciousness.” And when you abide in this silent ‘aham’, then slowly there dawns that eternal truth—”aham brahmasmi”—I am Brahman.
The Upanishads declare: I am not this body-mind, I am that supreme Consciousness, which manifests in all things, yet remains itself unmanifest, undivided, unknowable. The path of liberation begins with returning to ‘aham’, and ends with the flowering of that very ‘aham’ consciousness into supreme knowledge. When you abide in ‘aham’, forgetting body and form, then you realize—this ‘I’ is no individual self, rather I myself am that Brahman—eternal truth, eternal consciousness, eternally immutable.
80.
You are not ‘I’, nor action—you are that upon which ‘I’ has come. This ‘I’ you speak, with which you construct identity, history, relations, brings forth countless actions and deeds—in all things ‘I’ becomes the central point. But ask once—before this ‘I’ arose, had you done anything? Had there been any experience? Any action?—No. Nothing whatsoever. Only an actionless, motionless existence—which does nothing, yet is the background of all things.
The Upanishads say: “Neither doer, nor enjoyer”—the Self performs no action, enjoys no fruit—it is merely the witness. So understand—this very ‘I’-consciousness is itself a mirage. And this mirage attaches itself—”I acted,” “I felt,” “I am experiencing.” Yet the true reality is—you are witness to all this, you are prior to ‘I’ itself, and completely separate from all actions, history, fear and hope built through ‘I’.
This ‘I’ that came—it came upon you unbidden, you did not summon it, you have no part in its doings. The Upanishads say: this Self is forever unattached—it is implicated in nothing. Realize now—you are not ‘I’, you are no participant in action or sensation. You are that untouched, formless consciousness, upon which all things come and go, but cannot touch. You are before all things, behind all things, and beyond all things—you are Brahman, eternal witness, beyond experience, forever free.