In Shishir's Language, to the Sun

Will my existence forever dissolve into you like this, tell me? Will anyone ever know—that I too existed within your shadow?

I am not well.

Why such sorrow in your eyes? Your melancholy darkens everything within me.

Life is fleeting—you hold everything in the palm of your hand, live a little each day. The other day I saw someone in your image, you know? Wherever my gaze reaches, it searches only for you. My silent languages, my lifeless glances—do you feel them? The echo of their muted weeping is what troubles you, I think.

My life force has reached its depths. And yet I will see you, won't I?—I must turn myself around, prepare. Don't harbor grudges between us like this. If I fall silent, understand—it is only because there are no words upon my lips, for no other reason.

I cannot even imagine in dreams the thought of neglecting you. If only you knew how much you mean to me. One may harbor grievances against God, even anger—but the thought of neglecting God never crosses the mind. I have only one prayer before you—stay well, stay happy. I too must heal.

If fate does not bring us face to face, then we shall seek each other out ourselves. Just give me a little more time—let me gather myself.

The day I first knew you, it was as if someone whispered in my ear—we two were made for each other. After that, weighed down by my own inadequacy, I never found the courage to step forward. I only watched from afar—yet could not sever myself either.

Now, after all this time, it seems the measures by which I judged worthiness were perhaps wrong. Nothing is worthier than the heart—it never has been.

I never told you how beautiful you are in my eyes. When I see the sky, mountains, clouds, earth, colors—the joy they kindle pales beside what I feel for you. A whole lifetime could pass, I think, simply in looking. This beauty knows no end. Is breathing in this beauty not itself what love is?

Outside, a fierce storm rages. Everything tosses and whirls in the wind—how wonderful it feels, oh! Even at this twilight hour, I long to be drenched. Why is nature so beautiful, tell me?

I wish to be struck by raindrops as large as tears falling upon someone's skin. We grow old—yet the heart remains a child! I have nowhere to go. Like raindrops, it is my fate to dissolve into the earth and vanish. No one has the power to hold me back.

A wisp of cloud can never touch the sun—there is no future in that...a cloud exists only to weep.

Some things I truly cannot understand. I only fear. This much I sense—something deep and silent unfolds within. I have so many failings—teach me. Everything is shrouded in mist, all scattered.

Sunlight, in your vagrant life I shall be a servant.