First Part
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(Let me share with you a few conversations with one of the five most important people in my life. She is the finest mentor and guru I have ever found. I have never met her in person, but to tell the truth, whatever I am today, I owe it entirely to her—she stood by me virtually on Facebook during the days when I was almost nothing. Her life philosophy moved me deeply. She is an Indian woman living in California, a chartered accountant who once worked for Disney. She left her job for reasons of her own, walking away from a starting salary of nearly 22 lakh BDT in 2008.)
~~ Conversation started on October 1, 2010 & ended on November 30, 2010 ~~
: Hi lil bro Bappi…..... I was thinking of you, so I thought I'd quickly write you a note. All this time I've been sooooo consumed with myself that I never even asked how you're doing... I miss our chitchats so much.......
: Hello didi, Good Morning or Good Evening. How are you? Are you still caught up in those family troubles? I miss you terribly too. I haven't been very regular on Facebook lately. Yes, my girlfriend—she demands 'no conversation' and insists on 'study'—hardly lets me be regular. Friday's our weekly holiday here in Bangladesh. I'm heading off to my paternal aunt's place for a quick two-day break. Your sweet note found me right when I was contemplating life and the people around me. Yes, I like to think when I'm traveling. I do miss your words and your way of seeing things. I love everything you write, everything you suggest. Take care.
: Hi Bappi.... so, enjoying your weekend?........How far is your aunt's house from yours? Man! I don't mean to rub it in……but part of me is HAPPY that all that structured studying is finally over.... I have such bad ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)!!! Seriously LOL…. I've started my script….but I don't get very far with it….I end up daydreaming and thinking……and then Neel shows up and distracts me even more…..I started going to the gym regularly because I'm someone who needs structure….. So at least that's my sanity time LOL…. …everything else is the same old same old.. I reallllly miss your status updates … they were always so thought-provoking……I'm so irregular on FB too...mostly just responding to stuff on my wall…I deleted the FB app from my phone but now I've added it back…..yaaah dependency LOL!!!
So, are you getting ready for Durga Puja?? Soon we'll have Navratri...and Durga Puja....I'm really looking forward to it…I love all the festivities...I look forward to celebrating.....our Hindu festivals and then the American holidays....like Halloween, Thanksgiving and my FAV ONE: Christmas!
: Dear didi, how are you? Can you feel the essence of Puja in the air? Yes, it's Puja season. Time for joy, time for dancing. In Bangladesh, it's the festival we wait for all year. I can hear the ringing of the temple bells and wish I could make you hear them too.
🙂
These past few days have been ruthless—barely a moment to check Facebook. Three test papers to finish before the 22nd, and then the admission exam itself. Your kind words were like an anchor for my soul, but I couldn’t find time to write back. I’m truly sorry. Please don’t think ill of me. These wretched exams make us do foolish things, you know? Leisure is something you have to earn before you can enjoy it. For me, it’s still a long way off. I want to escape, but first I have to be trapped in it. ;-(
Tell me about yourself now. How are your days treating you? I’ve missed our talks—those exchanges about everything under the sun. I miss my reading outside the textbooks. (Though I managed to squeeze in four books alongside my studies these last few days…..yeeeeee….)
Waiting to hear from you soon.
With all my affection
Bappi
: (silence from her end)
: Didi, Happy New Year 2011!! Send my hugs to Neel. 🙂
: Happy 2011 bro …. Any New Year’s resolutions??? I decided against them this year… I never finish them anyway and then panic on the last day… Yeah, just like I did with exams too… Lol …….wait all year then panic last few days lol … so are you all set…..Yeah exams are around the corner… But look on the bright side…. After that one less thing to stress about… Though new ones will pop up… We work hard to beat stress and then work even harder to shake it off… We could spare ourselves… By just not working hard in the first place…Lol…. just messing with you …… Work hard … Give it everything you’ve got… Never compete with others cause some days it’s too easy anyway … Compete with yourself… That’s the real measure…….
All the best bro
: I’m so glad you wrote. Resolutions? Honestly, I’d rather watch other people make them. I’m done making and breaking mine. Like sister, like brother. Hahahaha . . . I have a strange relationship with exams. Let me tell you . . . . Reading for exams is the one thing I can’t do. Ask me to study all day and I’ll do it happily—just not for an exam! I’m not one of those disciplined students with a rigid schedule. I study hardest when the clock’s almost run out. Even my degree—I did the whole thing this way. Half the time I’d buy books the day before the exam. My bookseller used to call me after to ask if I’d passed. Every time I said yes, he got tired of hearing what he thought were lies (but I swear didi, I really did pass every time!) and gave up asking!! . . . That’s what my exam stories are made of! And now I’m facing the toughest one yet, the hardest exam system in Bangladesh. Thank god for a bit of common sense—I actually started studying early this time!! Unusual for someone like me, especially since I took up engineering.
Believe me, I was always a very, very studious student before I started my graduation. I kept it up afterward too, though only with non-academic reading. . . .
Yes, I’m trying to compete with myself. You suggested it to me before. I remember every word you write to me, every idea you offer. 🙂 🙂
My exams end on the 23rd. I’d be really, truly happy if you wrote to me sometimes. I promise to write to you twice after the 23rd of January. . . . lol . . . . I’m silly! You’re probably thinking that. Right?
Take care, didi.
Your loving brother
Bappi
: (silence from her end)
: Dear Didi, how are you? What have you been up to these days? Busy with guests? How’s Neel? Did you finish that book you started but couldn’t complete? I feel like reading something . . . Didi, would you suggest 5 books for me? . . . I found ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ today . . . I instantly thought of you—you’re a BIG fan of that one and shared some wonderful lines with me. But the cover said it’s a must-read for all women. So I ended up buying ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ and ‘Don’t Count Your Chickens Before You Hatch Them’ instead . . . I also found the sequel to ‘The Secret’—it’s called ‘The Power’. But I didn’t buy it . . . . Is the sequel any good? . . . And there was another one, ‘The Power of Now’ . . . . I didn’t pick that up either . . .
Waiting for your reply . . . 🙂 🙂
Bappi
: Sorry Sush, I fell asleep with Neel yesterday . . . actually, the truth is I fell asleep putting him down for his nap and didn’t notice when he actually drifted off . . . but when I woke up he was sprawled beautifully across my face 🙂 . . . the best feeling a mother can have! . . . the most precious feeling is when I feel my son’s little fingers on my face!
Two books come to mind: ‘The Last Breath’ by Peter Straks . . . Cautionary Tales from the Limits of Human Endurance . . .
‘The Art of Racing in the Rain’ by Garth Stein . . . . . . The second one is a beautifully crafted and captivating look at the wonders and absurdities of human life . . . as only a dog could tell it . . . . . . It’s really lovely . . . very well-written, and you don’t have to be a pet lover to enjoy it 🙂
I really think you’ll enjoy both . . . I did . . .
I’ll add more books as they come to mind . . . today I’m still heady from the last World Cup game. 🙂 . . . . . . can’t seem to shake it off . . .
Love,
Radha
: Dear didi, how are you?
. . . . . . . . the most precious feeling is when I feel my son’s little fingers on my face! . . . . . . . . One of the most touching things I’ve ever read!! What a priceless feeling that is!!!
Thank you for recommending those two books.
I’ll try to pick them up from the bookstore tomorrow. Can’t say if I’ll manage though. Right now I’m working through The Power of Now, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, The Secret (second time around), The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, and Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch…. Reading these feels like reinventing the wheel, but it’s enjoyable all the same. The trouble is, I overthink everything and end up drawing conclusions that make no real difference to who I am. …. lol
What about Eat, Pray, Love? I spotted it at the bookstore.
Didi, why haven’t you started that book you once told me about? Just begin, I think you should.
I know finding time to write isn’t easy for you, but I’m pushing you anyway—please do it. I’m eagerly waiting for that golden moment when I’ll be financially secure enough to do just one thing: WRITE. My biggest struggle is connecting my thoughts to the page. Being simple is genuinely hard for me. Simplicity—it’s the toughest thing to pursue in any work we take on. I often can’t manage it.
Didi, you commented on one of my recent posts, and what you wrote was so warm! Not everyone has an elder sister who can overlook all your faults the way you do. 🙂
Didi, have you noticed I’m losing my spontaneity, my fluency of thought? It shows in my writing now. I think I need to build my reading habit again. I’m waiting for the day when I land a government job and have enough time for reading and writing. I’m really waiting for that MOMENT!!
Write whenever you get a chance. Take care.
Love,
Bappi
PS ….. I’m sorry for replying so late….. Hope you’re not already exhausted by my endless apologies. (I don’t mean there are more waiting for you ……lol)
Do you know I sometimes check whether you’ve unfriended me whenever I’m slow to reply (or you are)? Please didi, don’t ever do that. It would be terrible for me. I don’t think I could bear it. 🙂
: Dear Bappi …Haven’t forgotten about you… Just caught up… :)…..and yes you’re still on my friend list… Always will be… I promise!!!!! :)))) Will write more later……
Loads of love,
Radha
: Dear Radha didi,
Happy Birthday to You. Wishing you a beautiful journey into the next season of your life. Be happy always and bring happiness to others. Keep smiling—I do love your smile …. 🙂
I don’t know why your birthday notification didn’t show up on my Facebook. Hey! Mark Zuckerberg!! Do you know what you were supposed to do? OMG!! Did you know I could fire you for this?? 😛
I hardly ever check the Facebook homepage where all the posts live. But today I was doing it (no idea why), and I stumbled across some posts on your wall! Thank goodness for that!! The Law of Attraction at work!! It really does save the day!! And it did this time!!
I’m really sorry for this late wish.
PS . . . .
Didi, do you still have the three poems I wrote for you on your previous birthday? They’re lovely. Right? Read them once again. You’ll feel good. 🙂 🙂
Love,
Bappi
: Yes, I have them :)…….. thank you brother… yeah late me … I have become such a procrastinator…. I feel yeah I’ll do it….in a sec….and that second never arrives…I inadvertently get distracted…. I blame it on the age…. cause I don’t want to be held responsible hence accountable lol …how have you been?
Loads of love,
Radha
: Didi, are you annoyed or angry with me? Are you there? I’m online ……. If you’re free, can we have a chat?
: Nooooooo am not angry or annoyed…. Oh u are too cute!!!! Am busy shopping for Neel’s bday party …. His bday is on Sat Aug 20 ….so rushing…..as we have karate and swim lesson and then a play date …. So sorry Sush …. No no no
No not at all upset
My chat on mobile doesn’t seem to load my online friends 🙁
Load WhatsApp… It’s online free msging
: So sorry ….. For what?? No no ….. Never say sorry to me….. You don’t need to do it …….. It’s always OK ….. Anything with you …..
Neel’s birthday!! WOW!! Such a cutie cutie kid….. your son, my nephew ……… he must be so !! Right??
I wish I could dance and sing with Neel whole day long. Give him tons of hugs from me on his very special birthday!!
How are you? How are your days going on? I miss you a lot but I can’t communicate with you regularly …….. Studies! Studies!! Studies!! So lucky you’re!! You got it finished …….
You are super-duper sweet tooooooooo ……… 🙂 🙂 🙂
: ……. 🙂 So, we have a mutual admiration club … As I pointed out a while back when we connected on FB …… I’d say almost 2 years ago!! Wow … That long ….yes I see you are busy with studying and me with Neel’s ever so demanding schedule of extracurricular activities…. Yeah from this September onwards will be his homework too from school 🙂
But honestly… I think I meet u every day as I am at the gym daily and bump into this handsome young fellow …yeah perhaps no similarities but he very much so reminds me of you :)….. I guess it’s the fault of my ageing eyesight… Lol
While Neel is turning 4 … His mommy dearest is in her 40’s 🙂
The number is the same… *****
If you have a smartphone try ‘whatsapp’ I have sent you many requests on that… so I thought you changed the number LOL
: Dear Didi, my handset is a very humble one, Nokia 3110 Classic . . . . . And, my number is also the same . . . ***** . . . . As I don’t use a smartphone, I never got your request. Don’t misunderstand me.
I never knew you were sending so many requests.
: I just sent a text—let me know if you got it and write back.
: Oh God! I’m trying a thousand times and my message won’t go through to you! Why can’t I send you texts on this number . . . ****? I have yours. I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I tried so many times before and failed every time. That’s why I thought you’d changed your number. :/
: Try doing **** … Strange you used to text all the time … Did you change your phone or carrier?
: I called customer service. They said the recipient **** is rejecting your texts!!
OK, I’m trying ****
I still can’t send you texts!! It says, ‘Message rejected by recipient’…… Wait, I’m going to lose my mind with this mobile operator!!!!!!!!
: 🙁
: What’s wrong, didi?
Why the long face?
What happened?
: Hey, are you on chat?
: Hello!….. hmm …… I’m in the chat room …..
: Cool
: You’re here too …… that’s awesome 🙂
: Yes I logged on
: Yes, you logged on, definitely!!………… How are you? How are your days going?
: I’m OK………..recovering……..and planning a trip to India next week.
: Recovering from what?…….that’s great!!
: Been juggling Diwali prep with the trip planning……….I had my appendix out……..emergency surgery—it ruptured.
: You’re completely fine now?
: Yeah… well I’m back on my feet and running around like a madwoman….. lol
: Like a madwoman? Sounds rather fun……..hahaha
How’s Neel?
: lol……..seriously…
: Does he like his new school?
: Neel’s doing great….loves spelling and counting……..he’s trying to read words……..
: He must love it …… he must be brilliant ……
: Hopefully he’ll start reading soon too….
: He will, I’m sure ….
I’d love to see him go far one day ….
: Every parent thinks their child is special 🙂
: I really do……….Yes, it’s only natural……..your kid must be gifted too 🙂 ………my nephew …. right? B-)
Where are you, didi???????
: ….. 🙂 here
: Not just smiles, send some words too……lol
: My connection’s being weird.
: hmm …. not being …. it is……..hahaha
: Yes, I keep typing.
: So??
The text doesn’t go through…..
Right?
: No, I’m not getting yours
You’re getting mine …yeah?
: OMG!
Why?
: OMG???
: You don’t get mine ….. that’s why OMG …..
It’s just a harmless OMG!
: …….. :/ I know
: Why so sad?
: I don’t get your texts :/
: But why?
I respond the moment I get yours.
: I know…
: Facebook! I could throttle it!!
: But I’m not getting anything 🙁
: Getting anything now? (I sent 3 just before)
: Nope 🙁
I do get international texts
: Nope??
Why? Is it Facebook’s fault?
Don’t you get all international texts on FB?
Or just ones from here, from Bangladesh?
: No no
Not Facebook
On my phone, when you send to my mobile number
: I really can’t understand why I can’t send you texts ….. A few days back I just felt like crying ….. when it showed …… ‘Message rejected by recipient’
Did you change any settings for international SMS?
: No….
I still get international texts
: Didiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…………….where are you ?????????????????????????
: I’m here 🙂
I just texted you again from my mobile :/
: ……… 🙂 I haven’t got anything :/
: ……..
I just sent
: It hasn’t reached yet …..
: Hmmmmm
OK Sush
Need to run……
Neel is up.
: Lost somewhere along the way, across such a long distance …. poor thing
OK didi
: lol
: Run Annie Run!!
: Poor text………lol
: Take care
See you later
: You too
: Hahaha
: Ciao for now
: Bye didi 🙂
: Happy Diwali
: Didi, how are you?
Are you busy now?
Didiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :/ 🙁
: Speak
: Are you busy now?
If you are, I can talk to you later
: No no, I’m not busy………I’m in Delhi…………just finished my morning run.
Second Part
………………………………………………………………………………..
~~ Conversation started on November 30, 2010 & ended on December 14, 2010 ~~
: Can you chat with me now?
: Sure … You OK bro?
: Hmm …. I’m superOK
How are you?
Didi, do you know that your little brother has reached the dream he always talked about and you inspired him for?
And he’s ranked first in the entire Bangladesh …… can you believe it, didi?
In the Bangladesh Civil Service (BCS) Exam…….. the toughest exam in Bangladesh …..
Can you believe it? You taught me how to be true to my dreams….
I remember those hard days when you were beside me always……..
I remember the hard days when you were beside me always (just had to say it again!!)
: Oh I am soooooooo happy for you bro…….I’ll send you a message from my cell now
: Yes, I got it.
: Facebook hangs on my mobile device.
: 🙂
: **** Can you respond?
: Hmm……
Got it.
: Cool!
: I can’t send you an SMS ….. :/
Over cell phone…..
: I have no idea why Facebook is soooooo slow :/
: Why?? ……… It’s OK
Can you come to the chat room?
We can chat faster
: Where is the chat room?
: Facebook chat….
Oh…. got it ….. you’re on your mobile
: It says ……. time out……. unable to load my friends :/
: You’re on a tour …. ?
You’re in such a super-duper mood 🙂
You’re my super hero!
My idol …..
Always
This success of mine is only because you were there…….
How is Neel, didi?
: Lol……. Thanks, but I think all the credit goes to your hard work.
: Does he like his school?
To hard work? …… Maybe, but more to smart work …… your inspiration was there too. 🙂
: …….. 🙂 ….Sush, I need to run and shower. I’ll catch you in a bit.
: OK didi …. run run …. Have a nice day.
: Didi …. How are you?
: Hey!
: Wow!! Didi ….. How are you? You’ve forgotten me………..Uhuhuhuhuhu …..
: LOL…….NOOOOOOO I haven’t forgotten you brother…….you are always on my mind and in my prayers.
: I know 🙂
: Then why did you ask? 🙂
: Didi …. didi ….. Tell me everything about how you are …. what you’re doing ….. how everything is going on …… tell tell …… I ask, because I like to ask ….
: Oh! I’ve had such a soulful trip…
: ……. 🙂 I know…….
: It was my time…
: I checked the photos…….
: I did all the praying……and partying……
: Sounds great!
: Eating and loving to eat …….
: Eat Pray Love …..
hmm ….??
: Yes, it was my eat pray love journey……
: Sharmie posted all and tagged me……. 🙂
: Needed it….. I was a mommy all these years…
I became my gypsy self for these 5 weeks.
No schedule…
No destination…
: U r a born-gypsy……
: Just the moment….
: I often think……
: Yes, my soul is gypsy…..
: I like ur gypsy soul.
: And, best of all, I said sorry to one guy I hurt the most in my life……. Feeling great!!
: Are u in NY now?
: No, I am home in California.
: Whom?? Whom???
U hurt???
OMG!!!
: My first boyfriend….Nitish’s brother….
: Really???
Tell me abt it …..
Plz …. plzzzzzzzzz
: We were young……thought we’d get married….
But, then dad died and I moved to the USA.
: Oh sorry!
Then??
: Now…….. I feel good I said sorry…..
So if I die now I can face God without guilt…….
: Wht was his expression?
U r too great ….. ur soul is great.
: He was happy.
: Didi, do u know I prayed for u when my BCS result published?
: He is a great guy….just not my soul-mate……
: Everyone around u loves u, for sure!
: And, he is mature…….lol
: He must be a lucky guy as u loved him……
Do u still feel him, didi?
Didi, if someone loves me but I don’t, is it my fault? Can she blame me for it?
Some do this …… uffffff
And, Girish’s brother must be married now.
Right?
: brb……
: And, living his life happily.
OK, brb.
: I always meant well for him.
I, of course, loved him and the love is not necessarily defined as a materialistic lust term.
Yes, he is married and has a beautiful wife and realllly beautiful children.
After seeing Robin’s pix he is happy I didn’t marry him as he LOVED and still LOVES his hair……. Lol ………. (NB…. Robin, Radha’s husband, is bald headed!)
: Sweet love story, didi …… not an expected ending, though.
Everyone must be blessed who comes around u.
I’m blessed.
: No no, I m happy of the ending.
: I believe my result is because of u……
: We both agree we weren’t soul-mates… just soul-friends….
I’m gypsy in soul…
I needed a ground anchor like Robin…….who lets me live and yet anchors me in this materialistic life…
: Is it something for which u have a gypsy soul?
: We have many good friends…..
I don’t know what I’m searching for….I know it’s not at a materialistic level……..am drawing to a force I can’t define 🙂
Bussss……a wanderer….lol
: It’s always great to be in a constant quest ….. as u gather something always worth-gathering.
: Ta ta bhai… need to run my 3 miles before I wake Neel up….yes…
: OK didi ….. Just send me some text when u have time
: Did u see my pix with Santa?
: No…. OK, I’ll.
: Ciao for now….
: OK sister….take care…..talk to u later.
: Hi Sush!
: Hello didi……..my sweet didi
Today I told a lot about u to another of my favourite persons
She was so happy hearing about u
: Who is that?
: Parveen Rahman
: OK
: She is a very nice lady.
: lol
: lol ….. why ??
U are developing ‘lol syndrome’ these days …..lolzz…..
(me too??)
She must have thought it’s so silly….the way I am……I laugh a lot
No no ….. No one can ever call u silly in front of me …….
Never!!
She appreciated u so much
Where is she?
In Bangladesh?
Yes, in Bangladesh
Did u see our Xmas pix?
No, not yet……where are those pics?
In my photos……….
OK I’m checking……thnx didi
Didi, why are u so gorgeous always & forever?
I like u, ur family
lol
Everything of u ….. 🙂
Thanks bro
I look really good in photos…… very photogenic 🙂
U r originally beautiful, I know……I guess…….so so lovely!
Thanks, brother!
Don’t mention ……. I know what u think of me …… u r always so sincere to me
U r most welcome, didi
We did this breakfast past Sunday
Now I have to make Christmas cards and even shop :/
U r so busy …… I know
I wish I could help u in shopping and everything
But I don’t feel like doing anything…..so lazy.. It’s cold outside and sooooo cozy at home.. lol
Hahaha …… it’s always is …. u summed up it so nicely ……. it’s cold outside and sooooo cozy at home
hahaha …..
It’s like 3 degree C
OMG !!
I never experienced that temp
lol
U smile too good on facebook……lol
I’m also developing lol syndrome, u see
Like attracts like
Didi, I’ve told her to read Eat, Pray, Love & The Secret ……. she told me she would read them
Yes….Like attracts
The Secret is the secret of my great success …… I’ve told it many and also abt u as u suggested me it first.
U r my all-time favourite !!!!
Thanks 🙂
When I will visit the USA, I’ll meet u
Yes….ABSOLUTELY…….and looking forward
We will have super-duper time together! I will hug Neel ……so so so sosoooooo cute kid!!!!!!!!
ummaaaaahhhhhh
He will love his cool mammu too when he meets you!
I know, he’ll love me ……
Kids love me so much …… always
I’m very fond of kids
I like them
🙂 You are a loving person..….It’s not hard
U r also a goddamn loving person
Well… yes …so everybody says… but my true critic is my hubby ….. who lost all his hair married to me … lol
Aahhhh!!! After marriage he lost his hair?
:/ …..sadly yes…
I think the timing was wrong…
He would have lost it anyway…
What did u do with them? u could spare them at least …… 😉 …..lolzzzz
It’s just I got married around the same time I got married to him lol
That’s what he said too lol
Hmmm ….. it’s so …
hahaha ….. good …… my jijaji thinks like me
lol…….he does..
Thank you so much for sharing such awonderful conversation, Sir…..