Fragments of Conversation

 

 1. Most of us, when we need to make decisions with our heads, make the mistake of deciding with our emotions—that is, we follow our hearts. And precisely when we need to make decisions based purely on feelings, setting reality aside and listening only to our hearts, that's when we think hardest with our brains and make the most difficult choices!
  
 2. I've heard that if two lovers or a married couple can't build a Taj Mahal together, then there's nothing wrong with them going their separate ways. Simply put, there's really no reason for them to keep their relationship alive. Then again, some people actually harm themselves or both partners in the struggle to maintain a relationship! When that happens, breaking up or getting divorced becomes downright "religiously obligatory"!
  
 Here I didn't really mean the Taj Mahal literally. Perhaps one of two people is exceptionally gifted while the other is completely ordinary. If the ordinary one can stand beside their extraordinary partner for a lifetime, then together they've built a magnificent Taj Mahal!
  
 3. Around us we see all kinds of people in love, married, or living together. We witness their joys and sorrows, their push and pull, we hear stories of their unions and their separations. But there are also some love stories around us that we know nothing about. These couples don't tell anyone about their love or their partings. What partings would they speak of? In truth, separation rarely occurs in such love.
  
 This kind of love is usually found between two emotionally mature people. You won't see them walking hand in hand anywhere, nor will you see them together in photographs. Surprising? Though very few in number, such love truly still exists. Those who have it are so busy savoring heavenly love that they find no time to tell or show anyone! Public displays almost always contain a lot of pretense. We ordinary people are never fortunate enough to witness such love, which is why we don't believe that true love can be like this! Those who have a habit of showing off their romance will never find real love—that's only natural!
  
 4. A man who can keep himself away from gluttony, attraction to other women, envious anger toward successful men, and illicit romantic desires, and a woman who can keep herself away from saris, gold, gossip, and greed—it's only a matter of time before such people get their names written in the list of great souls. If you look closely, you'll find that compared to men, there are very few women in the list of great souls!
  
 5. When we're in love or in relationships, we think the main job of the person sitting in front of us is to praise everything about us. Two things happen here.
  
 One. Hearing the same praise over and over all day, some people stop noticing their own bad sides.
 Two. Even if the praise is genuine, constantly hearing the same kind of words eventually leads to irritation with the person in front of you.

 6. If you live with a smiling face and a beautiful life, you'll find that many people become your enemies simply because of that smile. But if this same you were to put on a sad face, wear shabby clothes, make your face look like a bitter gourd, and go to those same relatives to properly tell them about your troubles, you'll see them pulling you to their hearts with love. It even happens that your relative, in their eagerness to be happy hearing about your sorrows, is ready to hide even news of some great past crime of yours!
  
 Why does this happen? We enjoy others' suffering much more than our own happiness. Another thing is that almost all of us like to think of ourselves as superior. What tremendous joy I feel when I see my brother bowed down before me! How can I possibly accept my brother's well-being with grace!?
  
 By the way, you'll see such stories constantly among office colleagues too. A colleague who can tolerate another colleague's happiness—what a true friend!
  
 7. Just as Facebook is one of the most convenient platforms for creative people to express themselves, it's also one of the most dangerous platforms for uncreative people to express themselves. Those who can do it, do it and show it. Those who can't, try to show off and get caught red-handed in front of everyone! Without Facebook, we wouldn't have known about so many people's various incompetencies!
  
 8. More precious than someone who loves you is someone with whom you have good understanding; someone who understands you, meaning understands your passion; someone who understands your anger or understands the language of your silence too. Such a person shouldn't be allowed to slip away from life. We need people who understand us more than people who love us in our lives. Many people love well, but how many truly understand!
 'I understand you' is a much, much more powerful feeling than 'I love you'.