Evening in the Rains

One day after meeting you, instead of getting off at Khilkhet on my way back, I got off at Banani. The weather was just like this, but it was Srabon then. I often go to Banani Star for tea. Going alone to eat is an old habit of mine.

When I don't feel good, when I want desperately to escape, I wander off somewhere alone, without purpose. I get off somewhere random. I drink coffee, I drink tea. I sit and watch people. I listen to their stories, watch their expressions. I laugh watching them and drink my coffee. There's a certain joy in being alone.

Anyway, after finishing tea at Star, when I came out, I saw the sky was weeping steadily. I thought, I won't take a car home today, I'll take a rickshaw. With my beloved sky-blue umbrella over my head, I walked toward Kakoli bus stand looking for a rickshaw.

Wearing white sandals and carrying Somaresh's "Satkahon," I kept walking. A few cars were rushing past in the drizzle. Lost in thoughts of you, I didn't even notice when I'd walked from Kakoli all the way to Shyamoli.

Reaching Shyamoli, I saw how beautifully clean and pure my feet looked, wet from the rain! Getting wet in rain makes me terribly cold, gives me headaches. I'm prone to catching cold, you know! I was walking along Shyamoli when from somewhere, like an angel, a rickshawala appeared and said on his own, "Going somewhere, apa?"

I climbed in. You were still wrapped around my thoughts then. The two of us huddled together, pulled up the rickshaw hood, and moved forward, half-soaked. On the city's wet tar roads, in the murky yellow light of wet lampposts, everything kept swirling in enchantment, again and again. What magic! What magic!

I didn't feel bad at all; it didn't even seem like I was actually traveling alone. Your enchantment had wrapped me intimately through every moment! That day I wrote in my petulance,

My entire day, the cloudy sky, the rain...
I won't give it to anyone!
This Srabon evening is mine alone!

Afterward I felt very cold, but didn't get fever. For some reason, I never get fever. I had a terrible headache. When rainwater touches my head, it hurts terribly. But even that day's pain somehow felt like pleasure!

Even now when Srabon evenings come, I return to that day again and again...again and again...I keep humming...I asked you for that Srabon evening!