Enchantment

I never imagined that someone so extraordinary would come into the life of an ordinary girl like me in such an ordinary way!

I truly don't know what's happening, what will happen. I only know this much — you've painted new colors over all the faded hues of my life. I never thought someone like you would ever come to me like this.

Even in all my darkness, you become a sliver of light that instantly pushes away the shadows and brings illumination, always. I really don't know how to express what I feel. Should I write poetry, or something else... or how do I write to make you understand! I truly don't know how to make you see.

You really don't know what you mean to me... the time spent with you has been the best time of my entire life. No one has ever cared for me so well. Not that you haven't caused me pain, but... I've misbehaved plenty too.

Even crying for you feels good, brings me peace. Though it's true, I think I fight a little too much! But what can I do... the fear of losing you grips me every single moment. The slightest shift this way or that frightens me... but if you leave after this, or tell me to leave, I don't know what I'll do. But I won't misunderstand you even a bit, or feel any anger toward you at all...

Because what you've given me without even trying is already enough to carry me through an entire lifetime. I don't want anything else from you, only that you truly be well. Being with you all this time, I've never once felt... that I don't want to talk or do this or that... instead I've always felt... oh! If only I could stay a little longer... just a little longer with you! Every day, every moment, I discover new reasons to love you. I found you in this new affection.

Whatever I do, whatever work I'm engaged in, your priority means more to me than my own life. When your text comes or when I spend a good moment with you, you can't imagine how happy I become!

I even laugh to myself, alone! This magic I'll never find with anyone else, ever. You are the magician of my life, my dream-man, my one and only beloved! You are the only one in my life! No one like you will ever come again. In fact, they can't. Because I know none of them possess this magic that you have.

So many things I want to say... but when I try to speak, everything gets tangled and confused. Sometimes I love just listening to you in silence. The way I love to care for you, to notice you with such tenderness — I've never felt this way about anyone else. And never will.

It truly amazes me sometimes! How could anyone not love you? I know your room though. There's a storekeeper figure in the window design on the upper wall. Your room has a brown wardrobe, your blue water bottle... your coffee mug... several of your shirts... your three watches... some t-shirts... your books... your two chairs... two headphones... the nebulizer... these are what I recognize so far. Who knows what else I might be missing! I've written about so much.

Ninety-nine percent of the words in my life are written for you, written to you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop writing to you. But today, somehow, everything is getting confused. I can't organize my thoughts. Actually, what I want to tell you, I can't quite make you understand. I'm afraid — will I ever be able to honor this god-given gift like you with the respect you deserve for a lifetime? I don't know!

Your voice, your laughter, the way you speak, everything about you... essentially, you enchant me anew every day! You are irreplaceable in my life. Please be well, so very well... with the people close to you. This is all I want, nothing else.