Bonsai of Thoughts: Thirty-Three

1. Each time I take your name,
if I had taken God's name that many times instead,
He would never have kept me in such agony!

2. People only want love, want to love;
but where do I see any heart that truly understands another!

3. I was doing fine, in joy and merriment!
Suddenly I wondered, how are you now!
And at once I began weeping with fierce guilt!

4. There are a thousand reasons to forget friends!
But how do I forget that friend
who, despite having a thousand reasons,
never forgets me!?

5. Don't forget to speak just these few words with me!
Otherwise one day, no matter how hard you try,
you won't be able to speak at all.

6. My body is failing.
Before I become just a photograph,
come before me and show me those crocodile tears!

7. Truly, I wasn't this ill before!
People asking me about your welfare
have made me so sick with their questions.

8. I fell at the doctor's feet and said, Sir, please cure me!
He laughed and said, If you do get well, what's the point of living then!?

9. What's the use of praying for me anyway!
I hear even my murderer's mother is very devout!

10. I saw you, and at once
something within me vanished!
You placed your hand on this chest, and at once
the heart flew away, escaping its cage!

11. See, one day in a crowded assembly
those very ones will bow and speak of us,
who killed us today!

12. I must learn to swim now!
The way I drown you in tears every day,
if I truly sink one day, who will save me then?

13. Those whom life will never give anything,
why does it make them fall in love too?
Who can handle such vast wealth with empty hands!

14. You go around telling everyone the story of your life,
how would these stories have been created if I hadn't turned away that day?
Then why are you erasing my name from all these stories?

15. Why do you demand so many explanations today?
Can't you bear to look anymore?
Or have you changed your very eyes today?

16. Following their advice,
that day you chose the wrong path.
But why must we pay the price for your decision?

17. Whatever I've desired in this life
has ultimately broken apart!
Now I'm too afraid to want anything,
so I break myself within my mind!

18. In greed to have you,
everything I had is plundered today!
In the trap of taking me,
everything you had has turned false today!

19. The one for whom I gave up my night's sleep,
that very one now sleeps day and night in the grave!
Can humans be this selfish!

20. Never ask to know my sorrows!
Who are you to me that for your sake
I should bring sorrow to these lips and burn my heart!?