: I've wanted to talk with you for so long, for ages. Why do you keep avoiding me like this? : I'm not avoiding you. Many different selves live inside me. Which self, exactly, do you want to talk to? Please, be specific!
One of my selves is a very rule-abiding person...who never stays awake even one second past eleven o'clock at night, just falls asleep. And wakes up again at exactly six in the morning. Takes a half-hour walk, bathes, has breakfast with sugarless coffee and heads straight to the office. Returns home at seven in the evening for dinner, green tea, tidying up the house, watching the news on TV, then prepares for the next day and goes to sleep.
Another self of mine is the complete opposite of this one. He goes to sleep at dawn. Wakes up at noon. From twelve o'clock, he spends an hour and a half or two drinking tea and coffee and dozing. Runs his fingers through his disheveled hair and thinks, 'A bath would feel good!' But the very next moment he pushes this thought aside and reads a few pages of poetry, pretends to write something like three and a half lines of verse. Wraps himself in a quilt and smokes cigarettes, thinking about all sorts of things. After this, he's forced to go take a bath. Some days, when he sees the bathwater, he thinks of the ocean...or remembers waterfalls...
After bathing, he somehow puts on his clothes and goes off to tuition. After tuition, by the time he gets home it's ten at night. He somehow swallows his rice, finishing one enormous task! Then again until dawn—paper, pen, poetry, poetry books, cigarettes, tea...that's it! He keeps going in this cycle.
Another self is the one who only wants to be mother's obedient child. He wants to work so much that mother won't have to work anymore. As if mother carried him in her womb and brought him into this world only so he could give her a world full of happiness. He has no time to think about anything or anyone except mother.
Now tell me, which of my selves do you want to talk to?
একের ভিতর অধিক সত্তার বসবাস।