Behind the Veil of Distance

I feel the need to begin with a disclaimer. This essay does not in any way mean to suggest how to create distance. I am merely trying to articulate how distance comes into being. This writing is entirely a reflection of my own dispassionate observations. Those who have the habit of misunderstanding what they read and then getting their mood spoiled, please do not read this piece. Just as you have no obligation to read my writing, I likewise have no obligation to tolerate your nonsensical comments—if you lack the mental maturity to keep this in mind, please skip this essay.

The boy doesn't understand the girl, the girl doesn't trust the boy—this is roughly the common thread in all relationships. Why do two people in a relationship deceive each other? Before marriage, or after? I have listened to, read about, witnessed, and learned from many people's experiences on this matter for a long time. I am candidly writing down whatever thoughts have occurred to me about this. This business of deception doesn't happen overnight. One contemplates it for a long time, various plans are made, and different excuses are constructed—for oneself and for the beloved person. Rather than transforming oneself into such a cheater, it seems a better option to replace that cheater with someone else or to spend life alone. I am speaking about the several reasons why breakups happen, divorces occur, or distance is created, or lovers cheat on each other.
1) Perhaps a relationship has no beautiful ending; everything is happening merely in the intoxication of the moment, and both people know this from the beginning. Then they mutually decide to break up. It could also happen that both are wonderful people, but their ways of thinking are completely different. Then they might drift apart even after discussing it between themselves.
2) Two people are in a relationship, but both or one of them is feeling a kind of unease from within, and is constantly thinking that continuing this relationship is not right. In such cases, most people listen to their intuition (and they should).
3) If it happens that two people are together, talking, wandering around, yet for some reason one of them is constantly feeling 'low'; then in such cases, distance inevitably develops at some point.
4) Many people suffer from the disease of 'nothing feels good to me.' If this ailment doesn't heal even in the company of one's beloved, then that relationship doesn't survive on love alone. That relationships survive purely on love—this is quite wrong.
5) Most girls are not good listeners. They are only busy making themselves heard. The funny thing is, some among them don't let their beloved speak; they start talking before that happens, but they listen attentively to many of their other friends. In this case, the boy will surely search in his heart for someone to whom he can speak his mind.
6) If some boy is constantly interrogated by his girlfriend on various matters for no reason, then the boy will think: whether he remains faithful or not, what's the difference—the girl doesn't trust him anyway. Love is not a prison. When personal freedom is curtailed, love gradually diminishes. In sustaining relationships, peace is worth much more than love.
7) A person who never finds anything good to say about their partner—the decision to stay with such a person is undoubtedly a very big mistake.
Anyone who constantly dwells on their partner's flaws and makes them the subject of endless analysis should simply be broken up with. No one in this world is perfect. Love means saying, from the heart: I am willing to accept your limitations too.
8) "I was actually better off when I was single!" ---- When this thought keeps working away in your mind, eventually the very impulse to keep breaking free from relationships causes the breakup. If a relationship brings neither genuine happiness nor at least peace, there's no point in sustaining it. "If love brings no joy, then why... why this false love..."
9) Whenever trouble appears in a relationship, if only one person always makes every effort and sacrifice to keep the relationship alive, it's only natural that cracks will eventually show. The one-sided responsibility of maintaining a relationship is a form of mental slavery.
10) If someone forces or encourages their beloved to adopt one of their own bad habits, such relationships rarely last. Say a boy smokes cigarettes or drinks alcohol. If he teaches the girl to smoke or drink as well, I have serious doubts about how much love actually exists there. Perhaps he's simply seeking a partner in vice, nothing more. Bad habits create friendships, not loving relationships.
11) Many young people get involved with others purely seeking variety in physical relationships. It's not that they're unhappy in their existing relationship. They do this simply to taste something new.
12) When there's too great an age difference between husband and wife, tendencies to get involved in other relationships often arise from physical and emotional dissatisfaction.
13) Arguments over various issues are bound to happen in relationships. But if it becomes the pattern that the boy always gives in to avoid the girl's anger, or vice versa, it's natural that such a relationship won't survive long-term.
14) At the beginning of a relationship, the boy wants the girl to be very caring. When the love becomes complete, the girl becomes excessively caring. Most boys cannot tolerate this. You can domesticate cats and dogs to behave according to your whims, but not human beings.
15) If the relationship becomes merely a matter of habit, boys might get involved with someone else without the girl's knowledge, just to break the monotony. Sometimes, this happens with girls too.
16) As the relationship progresses, if the initial colors gradually fade and the relationship starts feeling burdensome, the boy might consider moving elsewhere in search of new colors.
17) Social media platforms play an enormous role in both forming and breaking relationships. Facebook, Viber, WhatsApp, Imo, at work, outside the home—new relationship options are easily available everywhere. Some people, drawn to novelty, might break their old relationships.
18) If you constantly give advice to a girl about improving her appearance, she'll eventually think that the boy doesn't actually love her. Then she easily becomes attracted to boys who praise her physical form.
19) Girls' suspicious tendencies or excessive possessiveness are truly terrible things. This can irritate the boy immensely.
When she posts a photo with a female friend on Facebook, or when a girl likes one of his photos, or when he likes a girl's post — if she keeps quarreling with him over these things, the relationship often begins to crack. The reverse happens too.
20) After a child's birth, excessive attention to the child can diminish the mutual respect and love between husband and wife, creating distance. Many couples forget, after their child is born, why they married in the first place. In such cases, relationships can sometimes develop fissures.
21) Love alone cannot sustain a relationship. A relationship survives through certain behavioral changes necessitated by the relationship itself, and through the regular practice of these changes. Otherwise, various ailments develop in the relationship, which eventually lead to distance.
22) In matters of physical intimacy, if the woman doesn't want to engage the way the man desires, then over time, out of discomfort and frustration, the man may secretly get involved in another relationship. Rarely, this happens with women too.
23) Men who deceive those women who believe all their excuses often suffer from guilt if they fail to deceive them. The more love a woman has, the more she believes all the excuses of her beloved, and the more she gets hurt.
24) Men who become attracted to multiple women suddenly become more romantic and sexually appealing. Their beloved usually views this very negatively, and finding the opportunity, he becomes more reckless day by day.
25) Men who have less affection and love for their own children tend toward polygamy more. A man who isn't drawn to his own home is surely drawn to other homes.
26) Men who were accustomed to one or more physical relationships even before marriage generally don't want to distance themselves from this pattern after marriage. In such cases, it's not that he doesn't love his wife. He continues this purely out of habit. Sometimes the same applies to women.
27) Men who tell many lies to their girlfriends — their girlfriends begin secretly doing those very things that would require them to lie to their partners. This only increases the distance!
28) Men who grew up witnessing marital breakdowns at home, in their families, among neighbors, or in their neighborhoods, consider this practice normal even when they grow up. Such men feel no need to remain faithful to their wives after marriage.
29) A person who lacks individuality and distinctiveness — everyone eventually feels exhausted staying with such a person for long periods. To overcome that exhaustion, attraction toward a new relationship may also come into play.
30) A man who doesn't praise his wife's cooking and beauty after marriage can never be a good husband. Going out on holidays, watching movies together, eating at restaurants, buying gifts for each other occasionally even without special occasions, going on long drives, suddenly going out at night for ice cream — many such things bring people closer to each other. The absence of these creates distance in many relationships.
31) Men who deceive generally have many deceitful friends. Mixing with them, they construct many arguments in favor of deception and begin to believe that deceiving is a normal thing.
32) People are influenced by their surroundings.
Those married women who frequently socialize with their divorced friends and discuss relationship conflicts with them may develop the notion that divorce is no big deal at all! Many of them might consider divorce without attempting to resolve minor problems. Every person in the world can construct arguments in favor of their position, whether that position is right or wrong. Hence, being conscious of whom I associate with is crucial.
33) A boy whose girlfriend either believes everything he says or disbelieves everything will inevitably be attracted to another girl.
34) If you forgive a boy who has once been unfaithful in a relationship, regardless of what he might say, he will almost certainly cheat again. Once he learns the techniques to 'manage' that girl, he repeatedly applies them and 'gets away with it.' Deception is a natural instinct of deceivers. Even if you were to flay the skin off deceivers, they cannot abandon their habit of deception.
35) A boy who doesn't enjoy listening to his girlfriend's chatter will very quickly discover another boy in his girlfriend's life who listens very attentively to even her most trivial words. In such cases, this second boy usually remains undiscovered, but his communication with the girl continues nonetheless.
36) A boy who cheats on one girl to get involved with someone else who knows about his previous relationship will later cheat on the second girl as well to get involved with yet another. He assumes that since the second girl accepted him despite knowing, he has every right to cheat on her too.
37) If a girl who fell in love with a naive college boy assumes for life that the boy has remained just as naive, the boy's irritation may eventually surface.
38) Among those who cheat, 95 percent of women and 83 percent of men never get caught. Often, to maintain the relationship, they say nothing to each other despite understanding everything. When conflicts begin over this matter and mutual accusations continue, the relationship gradually moves toward its end.
39) If the wife also has a relationship with another man, the husband too develops a relationship with another woman. They treat this as a normal matter and neither asks anything about the other's personal affairs. In the name of respecting each other's privacy, they enable each other's adultery. In such families, children's psychological development is often impaired.
40) If a girl shows more respect to another boy, and her boyfriend is deprived of his due respect, that boy will certainly be attracted to another girl from whom he receives respect.
41) If another girl, knowing about a boy's relationship, becomes crazy to win him over, there aren't many boys who wouldn't respond to her invitation. Some people will even eat coal if they get it for free! There don't seem to be many boys who wouldn't respond to a girl's unconditional invitation.
42) If a boy's ex-girlfriend is more caring than his current girlfriend or wife, the boy compares the two and gravitates toward another girl who closely resembles his former lover.
43) If a boy disparages his beloved in front of others or behaves contemptuously toward her, she will inevitably begin to contemplate distancing herself from him gradually.
44) When a boy begins to doubt his girlfriend's love, he starts seeking genuine affection from other women.
45) If children from a previous marriage grow up in a new household, discriminatory treatment between the new household's children and those from the former marriage can often create hostility between husband and wife.
46) When a couple lacks respect for each other's familial and social standing, the rhythm of their relationship may falter.
47) When a boy notices a female colleague at his office who cares for him deeply—bringing him home-cooked meals, praising his work, admiring his taste, occasionally sharing lunch together—he may gradually fall in love with her. Working women, too, can be drawn to caring male colleagues both mentally and physically, or in both ways.
48) Women are women's greatest enemies. Many women, for whatever reason, seek revenge against another woman by ensnaring her beloved in the trap of physical love. Revenge sex is hardly uncommon.
49) Women generally prefer men with a sense of humor. The girlfriends of overly intellectual types often flirt with other men behind the scenes. Similarly, the boyfriends of intellectual women frequently remain irritated and seek various ways to escape that irritation. The truth is, intellectual people are boring. Spending time alone is more pleasurable than spending time with intellectuals.
50) Once a woman loves someone, she cannot tolerate any other woman with him, even after a breakup. If she begins communicating with him again, or if she responds as before when he calls, the man may suddenly become vulnerable to her once more.
51) Women mentally desire many things in a man. It's impossible to find everything they want in the person they love. Then their subconscious mind searches for someone who possesses at least one of their desired qualities. If they find such a person, the woman gradually becomes weak for him. Sometimes this breeds infidelity toward the old relationship.
52) Women often mean the opposite of what they say. If you cannot understand their unspoken words, they conclude that this boy is not for them. What constitutes a woman's "no" and what constitutes her "yes"—even God himself cannot fathom. Therefore, every successful lover is God's rival!
53) The boy has been hurt somehow by the girl's behavior, words, or thoughts. He no longer needs her, perhaps having witnessed some behavior in her that disturbed him. In such cases, the boy begins mentally seeking an "alternative beloved."
54) If the girl's relatives and friends dislike her chosen one, sometimes influenced by their opinions, she may end the relationship. The same applies to boys.
55) Probing too deeply into the girl's past and repeatedly mentioning various aspects of it to wound her drives her mentally far away from the boy. While girls generally worry less about boys' pasts, many boys enjoy prying into girls' histories.
Women are anxious about men's present, and men are anxious about women's past.
56) Mental exhaustion, excessive work pressure, disillusionment with life, mistreatment by superiors at the office, cold relationships with colleagues and friends, a sense of unfulfillment—all these drive many men toward call girls, pornography, or extramarital affairs in the hope of finding peace or relief.
57) Men addicted to drugs are almost invariably unfaithful to their lovers and certainly spend time with other women. Women do the same. Living a healthy life with a drug-addicted lover or beloved is simply impossible.
58) Sometimes it happens that to avenge some mistake of the girl's, the boy has revenge sex with another woman. This continues, and at some point, they break up. The same can happen with a girl.
59) The interesting thing is that getting involved in another relationship doesn't necessarily mean they no longer love each other as before. There are many happy couples where the boy or girl maintains everything in the relationship properly while remaining attracted to someone else for a long time.
60) When a boy is drowning in frustration over some personal matter, he sometimes thinks that if he gets involved with another girl, all his problems will be solved in an instant! Some girls think this way too.
61) Most girls feel comfortable hearing lies. If a boy tries to keep himself transparent—sharing openly with his girlfriend about which girl he has a crush on, whom he talks to, what his opinion is about some beautiful girl—cracks begin to appear in the relationship. Whether the girl says anything or not, she shows such cold behavior that the boy is compelled to think about other girls. Most happy relationships are adorned with many small lies. The better liar a boy or girl is, the better lover they make!
62) For most boys, sex and love are completely different things. The idea that you must love someone to have sex with them doesn't naturally exist in boys' minds. Even when they get physically involved with other women, they love their own wives and feel no remorse or guilt. After sex, they are haunted by two fears: What if my wife somehow finds out? What if this girl tells someone? On the other hand, when a girl has sex with another boy, the first thing that strikes her mind is: What have I done? In most cases, the girl subsequently feels a kind of emotional pull and affection toward that other boy. Women's love flows from mind to body, and sometimes even from body to mind; men's love flows from body to body.
63) Supernatural utopian expectations and dreams about post-marriage life break many marriages. When the distance between imagination and reality increases after marriage, the emotional distance also grows. At some point, it reaches a conclusion and stops.
64) Divorce also occurs due to physical and mental abuse after marriage. In our social system, women are usually the victims of this abuse. Some sick and mentally unbalanced men are primarily responsible for such divorces.
65) Women are naturally ahead of men in handling post-marriage pressures and responsibilities. If marriage happens before becoming sufficiently mature mentally, socially, and financially to handle those pressures, many men constantly want to return to their previous life to escape the excessive burden.
66) If sex after marriage becomes merely a matter of physical habit, devoid of the mind's varied languages and emotions, then after a certain point, physical touch itself only increases mental distance.
67) When left physically unfulfilled after marriage, many men or women gravitate toward other relationships.
68) When women decline physical intimacy after marriage due to various physical problems, many men seek to fulfill their needs through other means.
69) Differences in physical needs after marriage can create distance.
70) Many physical and mental incompatibilities become apparent after marriage. Sometimes, faced with unpleasant social and familial situations arising from these issues, many men end the relationship. Men generally cannot handle excessive family pressure. I know a couple who loved each other for seven years before marrying. As far as I know, they even lived together for nearly three years; yet their marriage ended in divorce just three months after the wedding.
71) The best strategy for winning arguments after marriage is to lose them. Relationships grow fragile when bound by relentlessly rigid logic. Arguments can only be won in debate competitions, not in life. Constant quarrels over various matters diminish mutual respect and weaken bonds.
72) After marriage, many women think love is greater than sex, while their husbands believe sex is no less important than love. This contradiction sometimes creates distance between expectation and fulfillment.
73) If the person before marriage and the person after marriage are vastly different individuals, then the growing distance between expectation and reality may eventually break the bridge of the relationship.
74) Some people feel a conscious or unconscious pull toward old relationships from before marriage, and sometimes attempt to reconnect somehow. In such cases, bonds begin to loosen. Looking back at a broken relationship only increases one's suffering.
75) Marriage binds people within certain boundaries regarding sexuality and other matters. Many men and women refuse to accept these constraints. Given the opportunity, they repeatedly and secretly transgress these limits. This gradually increases distance.
76) Many men consider maintaining relationships with various women a mark of virility and achievement. For this reason alone, they deceive their beloved day after day.
77) Men who habitually engage in sexual conversations with complete strangers over the phone or internet have very little respect for love. Such men rarely experience happiness in their romantic lives.
78) Every man likes to display his masculinity. If a woman controls her partner too much, and the man always concedes defeat to avoid conflict when arguments arise, it's almost certain that he's seeking recognition of his masculinity from some other woman.
79) A man's personality emerges through his clothing, manner of speaking, and taste. Women of refined taste maintain distance from men of poor taste.
80) Nothing in this world can be taken for granted. If anyone reduces or stops communication by taking any relationship for granted, that relationship doesn't last long.
81) If a wife's economic role in the family exceeds her husband's, in many cases that family doesn't survive.
Here mutual respect can be eroded, ego gradually takes precedence over love, and eventually disaster befalls the relationship.
82) If preferences and interests are so different that they lead to constant conflict between partners, the relationship may also move toward breakdown. In such cases, resolving conflicts is the best approach. By setting ego aside, both parties can compromise on certain matters to make it work.
83) From despair, frustration, and depression too, people seek variety and get involved in other relationships. In nearly 90 percent of cases, the belief that happiness lies in other relationships proves to be nothing but a mirage.
84) Human attraction to the forbidden is irresistible. After marriage, many men find every woman except their wives beautiful, finding everything about other women appealing. Like preferring the free deer of the forest over the caged one, many fall into extramarital affairs driven by this attraction.
85) Women often dislike men who are too busy with their careers and work. Women tend to favor men who can give them time, though in most cases these men have utterly dark futures, so such romances rarely progress to marriage with family approval. Whether the woman is single or not, she spends time with men who give her attention, who listen attentively even to her most trivial words, and goes around with them.
86) Suppose a girl falls in love with a boy at a young age, but later the girl gets admitted to honors while the boy cannot even pass his HSC. Regardless of the boy's financial situation, the chances of their relationship progressing to marriage are very slim. Many relationships with unequal educational qualifications do not last.
87) Love that begins quickly often disappears just as quickly. Without giving adequate time to understand each other, misunderstandings can create distance.
88) Distance also causes many separations. Distance often destroys relationships. Mental and physical touch cannot be achieved merely through phone or internet. The unconscious mind constantly works with attraction toward those nearby. People get entangled in other relationships under the spell of such attraction. Among women whose husbands live abroad after marriage, the rate of infidelity is much higher.
89) Addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, call girls, extramarital affairs—these are unfailingly effective at destroying relationships! Many couples decide to separate due to lying, deception, attempts to fabricate believable stories, and such behaviors.
90) What is life like? What would make life more beautiful? Which dream, if touched, would allow one to color oneself more deeply with life's hues? Many couples never talk about such matters. Many spend years together without even learning each other's favorite color. If after marriage someone continues living 'their own' life instead of 'our' life as before marriage, distance will inevitably develop over time!
91) Unnecessary interference by in-laws in trivial matters also creates discord in households. When this continues constantly, family bonds no longer remain as strong as before.
92) If someone's small joys and feelings are not appreciated by their beloved, they often spend time with someone who thinks like them, who loves to enjoy life as they do.
93) Men are generally more attracted to physical beauty than inner beauty. When a beloved's physical beauty begins to fade, many men become attracted to other women.
94) Men mostly cheat driven by biological urges, while women cheat driven by emotional impulses. When another woman feels intensely drawn to a man, overwhelmed by passion, she herself compels that man to betray his beloved.
95) Men mostly believe in one night's passion, while women believe in love that spans a thousand nights. Where men's biological needs end, women's emotional dominance begins. Where love is absent, the body becomes paramount. Seeking the allure of different nights in different women's eyes, many men chase after the attraction of novelty.
96) Many men don't want to get entangled in marriage. The moment a woman starts pressuring for marriage, he begins searching for another woman.
97) Men naturally don't want to solve problems on their own. Whenever trouble begins in a relationship, many men simply flee. In some cases, sheltered women from wealthy families behave similarly.
98) The other woman with whom men maintain relationships day after day is, in most cases, someone the man's girlfriend knows and considers utterly trustworthy. Many men do this to escape suspicion.
99) Men's intentions in relationships differ from women's. Most men are attracted to women's physical beauty, while women are drawn to men's inner beauty. Once men get what they want from women, their attraction gradually begins to fade.
100) If a woman refuses to listen to a man's joys and sorrows or his comforts and difficulties, constantly talking only about herself, the man might seek out another attentive female listener. Most women's favorite pastime is complaining endlessly about various matters—something no man actually enjoys, though they pretend to like it to avoid trouble. A woman carries herself as if she's the world's most miserable person, while the man has no sorrows, no suffering. Maintaining relationships with women who market their misery is hardly pleasurable.
101) The man might begin believing he's not getting what he wants from the relationship. The woman doesn't want what the man wants. This could be sex or something else. The woman thinks she's giving more than she's receiving, while the man thinks he's not getting what he desires. The result: breakup!
102) If a man constantly gives time to friends and spends little time with his woman, she might become irritated by this.
103) The man thinks he's far more worthy than the woman in many ways. He could easily find a more suitable woman if he wanted. Then he considers leaving. This could happen with women too.
104) When the man comes home, instead of spending time with his wife, he watches TV, starts playing video games, or goes on social networks. In some cases, women do the same. In such situations, mutual emotional understanding gradually diminishes, post-marriage life becomes an invisible contractual social habit, and family bonds progressively weaken under the spell of the virtual world.
105) The man lives entirely according to his whims. He leaves clothes scattered about, exposes his teeth grotesquely while chewing food, cleans his nose without using a handkerchief in front of guests, watches TV constantly—clinging to such irritating habits day after day. After repeatedly requesting him to abandon these habits, the woman might eventually become so frustrated that she creates emotional distance.
106) The boy works hard all day outside the home so that life might be a little better. When he returns home, if his wife opens up her satchel of all the world's problems, the whole affair becomes deeply irritating. The boy who, after returning home from the office, finds no one to say "you look so tired" — there is no one more helpless than him. In such cases, many men become discouraged and begin seeking alternative refuges of peace. I have seen women who, the moment their husbands return home, start venting their anger over the phone or face-to-face, wanting to win the argument at any cost right then and there. It never occurs to such women that the man is tired and exhausted, that he should be given a chance to rest a little — and when they do win the argument, they feel joy equivalent to winning a Nobel Prize. Living happily with such a woman is truly incredibly difficult. A person's greatest virtue is humanity. Without humanity, no relationship of any kind ultimately endures.
107) The boy loves to wander about, and the girl loves to stay home. What the girl loves to eat, the boy doesn't eat at all. Sometimes this leads the boy to secretly seek out companions for his wandering. He sits and eats his favorite food together with some other woman.
108) Marriages that happen at a very young age under the sway of emotion have a much, much higher rate of divorce. This matter mostly remains secret, so it doesn't become widely known. The main reasons for such marriages are sex, revenge, and bizarre dreams about life. Once the enchantment breaks, love flees. How many young men and women secretly marry during their student years — we will never get an account of that.
109) If one continuously flirts with other women, mistreats one's wife, never says anything praiseworthy about one's wife, harbors low opinions about one's wife's intellect and intelligence, tries to forcibly influence one's wife's preferences and beliefs according to one's own way — at some point the wife may become fed up. A boy thinks in one way; a girl never thinks in exactly the same way. The longer it takes to understand this opposition of thought, the more the distance will keep growing.
110) If a woman, after entering a relationship, wants to pull a man away from his old habits, and constantly pesters him about it in various ways, many men don't like this and begin thinking about creating distance.
111) If a woman makes too much fuss about her boyfriend's Facebook password, email box, Facebook inbox, Viber, WhatsApp, IMO and such things, the boy often becomes annoyed and thinks about living freely.
112) There are certain psychopathic boys who, without any visible reason, lose all attraction toward the girl after a certain time. A feeling develops deep within their minds that they no longer feel good being in this relationship. They cling to this notion and eventually hurt the girl and withdraw. Some girls do this too.
113) There are some people whose mental constitution is just not suited for being in relationships. I mean, they're not affair/marriage material. They cannot remain entangled in a relationship for long. At some point, out of boredom, they lean toward something new.
114) Many boys keep it in their heads from before the relationship even begins that they'll "run this thing for a while" and then leave. They keep cheating throughout the relationship as long as they don't get caught, or even if they do get caught, they somehow "manage" the girl.
115) Some boys believe that the more girls are attracted to them, the more masculine they become. They do whatever it takes to capture other women's attention, and draw close all those who appeal to them.
116) Sometimes it's best to marry your closest friend. Because looks and sexuality fade with age, but friendship endures. However, if at some point the man encounters someone in his life whose love becomes greater to him than his wife's friendship, he may grow accustomed to spending time in secret with this new companion. The same can happen with women. Love and friendship are entirely different things.
117) When physical beauty deteriorates due to weight gain, many often secretly become involved in other relationships. But this rate isn't particularly high.
118) Sometimes you see a boy whose girlfriend possesses everything he wants physically and mentally—even more qualities than he desires. He's the boyfriend of a completely trustworthy girl. Yet still he finds himself attracted to another, uglier woman. But why? A boy cannot tolerate a completely "yes sir" type of girl for long. Sometimes he wants her to offer her own opinion, to have some individuality, to be a little mischievous now and then. When he sees these qualities lacking, he's drawn to a woman who is at least somewhat less tedious. Yes, this happens with women too.
119) There are men who truly love their wives but want physical relationships with other women. In such cases, they spend day after day hiding the second relationship from their wives in various ways.
120) Some relationships exist that are nameless relationships. They want to maintain connections with each other, to experience all kinds of pleasure in the name of relationship, but they don't want to give that relationship any name. There's no commitment in such relationships, no expectations. Whenever desired, the chapter of that relationship can be closed temporarily or forever.
121) A study found that when husband and wife live separately for four years or more after marriage, distance between them continues to grow, whether openly or secretly.
122) When a boy notices the absence of certain qualities in a girl that he has always imagined, he may then feel attraction toward another woman who possesses those specific qualities.
123) Even after having a good job, many people still search for new employment. In exactly the same way, even while in a wonderful relationship, many want to move into new relationships. This happens far more consciously than unconsciously. As long as the second can be kept hidden, many successfully maintain both the previous relationship and the new one. Generally, for men this happens for physical reasons, and for women for emotional reasons.
124) The more indifferent a boy becomes toward his beloved, the more another man's attention will begin to attract the girl. If at some point she feels that other boy would be better for her, she may break up and go to him.
125) If a boy thinks as much about his relationship as he does about his own life, he will never do anything that would lead the relationship toward breakup. When boys don't properly respect the relationship, they consider ending it.
126) Divorces nowadays occur far more often due to mutual misunderstandings than sexual infidelity. When someone suppresses what lies in their heart for a long time—out of fear, hesitation, or ego—it eventually transforms into profound discontent, and its explosion manifests as divorce.
127) Financial hardship can also lead to divorce. Marriage naturally increases expenses considerably. When people marry purely on emotion before having sufficient means to bear those costs, emotion often flees in defeat before reality. To survive, humans must eat food—no one lives on emotion alone. And who doesn't know that food requires money to buy, not love!
128) The persistent absence of mutual understanding in financial decision-making often creates distance over time. If there are constant disagreements about earning and spending decisions—constant ones—then after a while, mental dissatisfaction can create a chasm.
129) If someone develops a crush on another person and manages to connect with that individual, and if that other person responds positively, many can become unfaithful to their existing relationship.
130) Many are compelled by family pressure to abandon old loves and marry someone else.
131) Often women, and sometimes men, can form relationships with others who have better careers. Hoping for future security and to live a socially prestigious life, many consciously end their previous relationships. Therefore, the foundation of successful love should be preparation for building a career, not mere affection.
132) Many people have certain hidden personal, physical, and psychological problems that can no longer remain secret after marriage. The anger of "why didn't you tell me everything before we married" leads many to choose divorce or infidelity.
133) Why doesn't he call me? How many times did he call today? Why should I call him—let him call! Does anyone need to check on me? He doesn't call me much, therefore he doesn't love me.——Many women believe that frequent calling equals greater love. And not calling or calling less creates extreme trouble and anguish in relationships daily. Why is his line busy, who is he talking to, surely he's having romantic conversations with some girl, whenever I call his line is busy (perhaps she found him busy just once)—nearly all women are naturally gifted at reaching the extreme limits of distress over such matters. Perhaps the boy is busy with official work on the phone, or talking to someone about personal matters, or chatting with a friend, or giving time to a female friend on the phone—women refuse to accept these possibilities. In such cases, it's natural that the relationship won't remain very warm. Who enjoys constant turmoil and trouble? In relationships, the need for peace and comfort often becomes greater than the need for love itself.
134) Many men have truly unrealistic expectations. They want their wives to constantly look after them. But it doesn't occur to them that wives must manage the household, handle everything from children's schooling onward, deal with various domestic troubles, work at jobs, and so on and so forth. If they unexpectedly receive even a fraction of this attention from elsewhere, they gradually begin to become unfaithful.
135) Many boys keep a 'backup girlfriend' at hand, whom they introduce to their current partner as just a 'friend.' When they sense trouble brewing in the relationship, that friend becomes the girlfriend. This is how, in time, the 'backup girlfriend' becomes the 'girlfriend.'
136) Many boys, inspired by the polygamous tendencies of various successful, creative, and great figures in the world, lean toward other women while still fulfilling all responsibilities toward their beloved. Just because some great man was polygamous doesn't mean that being polygamous makes one great!
137) Many boys seek freedom from their wives after marriage. They become involved with various women and inform their wives of these affairs with evidence. If the wife still offers no protest or doesn't file for divorce, the boy never strays from that path.
138) Many boys cannot maintain regular contact. Once a relationship is established, it's mostly the girl who holds the relationship together. If she fails to do so, the boy may become attracted elsewhere.
139) Boys fear commitment. When they realize they're truly falling in love, or that their personal happiness and sorrows are becoming bound to a woman, they always think subconsciously of escape.
140) Heart proposes, religion disposes! Due to different religious, familial, financial, or social positions, many relationships don't end happily. In our social system, religion's demands far exceed those of the heart. Besides, due to positional disparities between two families, many loves remain merely love and nothing more.
141) Many boys who marry before the age of twenty-two often divorce within the first fifteen years of married life. Love, affection, and marriage are three completely different matters. When one marries before developing the mental maturity to view and understand these three from different perspectives, such marriages rarely survive.
142) "Why won't you do that with me? You don't really love me, I know." When boys fail to emotionally blackmail a girl with such words, they may become involved with another woman to take revenge or fulfill their desires. Countless incidents occur where the boy turns elsewhere because he doesn't get what he needs. Of course, it's also true that in many cases, the breakup happened precisely after such blackmail attempts. The body may come into love, but when the body becomes love's condition, that love doesn't last.
143) "We're just friends, nothing more!" Placing trust in someone new with such assurances often completely destroys one's life. Matters of love happen very quickly. If someone regularly mingles with a person of the opposite sex, at some point, unknowingly, an affection or attraction toward that person may develop. Then that friend is no longer just a friend. Rather, the old person becomes just a friend.
144) Many people decide to distance themselves after being mentally hurt by the words or behavior of their beloved's father, mother, or other relatives. Such people tend to have very intense self-respect.
145) Even after landing a good job or achieving a favorable social position, many people push away their old companion. Their love resides not in the heart but in status. How fragile such love is!
146) When someone continuously lies about everything, whether necessary or unnecessary, there comes a point when their beloved loses all trust and respect for them. They can no longer be believed. Gradually, love too begins to fade.
147) Many young men remain quite indifferent toward their careers. They don't even try to secure a good job. Thinking about future life, many conscious women distance themselves from such men.
148) There are many who cannot admit their faults or take responsibility. They always blame others and derive a kind of self-satisfaction from it. People who blame others don't make very good life partners. Many of their loved ones eventually grow tired and leave. It's completely impossible to maintain a relationship with someone who thinks they're perfect. Actually, no one is perfect, and maintaining a relationship—let alone having a conversation—with those who consider themselves flawless is extremely painful.
149) The voice has a unique power. Speaking for five minutes a day is more effective than sending fifty text messages. Many consider merely sending texts sufficient for maintaining communication. Such relationships don't become very strong.
150) -------- Please write this point yourself. --------

Why should one need anyone to get through life? It's much better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. Since men are naturally polygamous, many plan "who's next?" even while spending time with one woman. And when women are in a relationship, they observe whether their emotional needs receive the importance they deserve. If not, they lean toward other relationships. A study found that seventy percent of men and fifty-four percent of women never even discover that their beloved is involved with someone else. So no one even thinks about solving this problem. Because before solving a problem, one must know it exists. Only in thirty percent of cases does the main partner discover the other relationship. If mutual respect and trust are very strong, many of these issues can be avoided. Life brings many small mistakes. No one in the world is perfect. If one acknowledges their mistakes and seeks forgiveness, many complex situations can be simplified. If one completely abandons their ego before a relationship breaks and tries to reorganize everything like the beginning of the relationship, many relationships can be saved. A relationship remains beautiful as long as the initial sweetness endures.
However, if the relationship still cannot be mended after all this, one must accept that they were in the wrong relationship with the wrong person all along. Thank God for giving you the opportunity to love yourself. You can now organize your work more beautifully. Those small joys and hobbies you had forgotten all this time can now be enjoyed in your own way. You'll be able to understand and love the people around you much better than before. You'll suddenly discover that you used to worry unnecessarily about trivial matters, which destroyed your mental peace. All your fears and anxieties were centered around the wrong person. Beyond the world inside your head, there's another world outside that is very beautiful. Your confidence in your own resilience will increase significantly.
You will learn how to heal the wounds of your own life. You will be able to feel the strength within you very deeply. You will come to realize how much your family and loved ones care for you—those whom you have deprived for so long. Having survived the worst of times so magnificently, having endured—this means that no obstacle will ever come in your lifetime that you cannot face. No barrier in life remains a barrier for you anymore. Pray silently in your heart: O God! Thank you for freeing me from the wrong person at just the right time. Today truly marks the beginning of my life. I will never make the same mistake twice again. Just stay by my side!