A Word or Two About Your Ex

He left you for another woman?

Don't worry. One day he will certainly text you. He'll ask how you are; say he still misses you; remind you of old memories and try desperately to rekindle the old love within you. He might even say, "I truly made a mistake back then. If I hadn't made that mistake, life would be so much more beautiful today."

Why will he say all this? Because he wants you to think of him again, to let him back into your life, to meet with him, to reconnect with him. Why does he want this? The answer is quite complex. People want, people love to want. People understand only after it's too late. People want so very late!

You'll feel wonderful that day. One by one, you'll remember what beautiful days you once spent with him! What a happy life you two had! How much you loved him then, how well you kept him! You were ready to give up the whole world for him then! After all this time he's come back! After all this time he's realized his mistake! How strange!

But at the same time, you'll remember very clearly how much you hate him now! You'll also remember how much he hurt you once, how he drove you away from his life like a dog! How much you had to cry that day without any fault of your own, how wounded you became. Because of this very person, even breathing became difficult for you that day! Everything will come back to you one by one. It must! You are the one who suffered! While the one who inflicts pain may not remember anything, the one who receives pain remembers everything perfectly.

You have truly reached this place of wellness today through immense suffering! In response to his wounds, you didn't strike back—but that doesn't mean that today, after all this, carrying the burden of so many unbearable memories... you would write something loving in reply to his text. Actually, you won't write anything to him at all. Not even by mistake! You'll quietly look at his text and laugh with a contemptuous, empty gaze.

When the beloved doesn't wound, there may be love in the heart but sometimes no self-respect. But when the beloved does wound, whether love survives in the heart or not, self-respect certainly remains.

Today you've learned that living with peace and dignity is far, far more important than showing love. Even without a king by your side, you can live wonderfully as a queen with your head held high, if you learn to live like a queen. You've learned that today. You're doing so well today precisely because that psychopathic, toxic pseudo-king is not beside you.

Yes, he still misses you, but he will never bother you again. After trying for so long to prove himself good to you, he's tired now. For so many days he gave his utmost effort to keep you happy. Whatever was possible for him to do to win your heart, he did relentlessly for a long time.

But today, he can find no reason to do so much for you anymore. Today he can no longer care as much as before. There's no meaning left for him in fighting for you, in keeping you.

Each of your mistakes and negligences has brought him to this place today. Tolerating all your faults and flaws, he's realized today that you're not the right person for him. Every time you've broken his heart until now, he feels again and again that there's truly nothing worth looking back at. How many times can one return to the same mistake!

So don't sit hoping today that he'll come running to you, forgetting everything as before. Banish from your mind right now the expectation that he'll simply surrender quietly to all the love in his heart for you. Drive away this false hope that he'll continue to be hurt and wounded as before, loving you still.

People learn from mistakes. He too has learned. He told himself countless times, "I'm finished!" He told himself countless times, "I can't bear it anymore!" He told himself countless times, "What will I live for then!?" Today he's learned to tell himself, "I'm just beginning!" Today he's learned to tell himself, "I can bear even more." Today he's learned to tell himself, "I'll still live with this!"

He knows being alone isn't easy. He also knows being with you is even harder. If one must live with someone who makes you feel every moment, "I would have been better off living alone than this!", then becoming accustomed to solitude is far more peaceful than living with such a person.

He knows leaving everything behind and moving forward will be very difficult for him. He also knows that staying here like this will ultimately kill him. Rather than enduring such constant humiliation from someone who doesn't want him to stay, being hurt alone is far, far happier.

He knows he may never be able to love anyone again. He also knows that not being able to feel love is much more peaceful than burning constantly in love like this. If he ever finds that person who will truly value his love, understand its worth, and want to be happy with him in life, then he'll fall in love again, love again. And if he never finds such a person, he'll live contentedly with himself alone.