Words Spoken in Silence

– That first phone conversation we had keeps coming back to me today, so suddenly. But look, we don't talk anymore. So many days have passed, yet we're in no hurry, there's no effort to keep the conversation going.
– Listen, crazy girl, you're still not separate from me.
– I know I have no value to you. Even if someone like me wasn't in your inbox, it wouldn't matter to you at all.
– What's wrong with you? Why are you talking such nonsense?

– Go to sleep. From tomorrow I'll try not to message you anymore.
– What's wrong with you? I never forbade you from messaging me.
– Why would you forbid me? I'm nobody to you, never was.
– You seem so tired. Come, sleep on my chest.
– Ha ha! You only noticed the tiredness? Couldn't see anything else? Look into my eyes—can't you understand anything? How can you be so blind? Oh yes, you're only blind when it comes to me, you don't want to see anything, can't understand anything either!
Why should you? Who said you have to? Why do you keep reminding me of all my failures by staying silent like this? I had forgotten—no one is supposed to love someone like me.
If you love me, you can't stay well that way; you can't surrender yourself in peace; something else happens! You did well, staying away was much better. Keep yourself well.

– Are you done? Now come calmly to my chest. Why are your eyes so red?
– From now on my eyes will always be bloodshot like this. Even if I die, it doesn't matter to you at all, does it? It never matters to anyone!
– I'm here, crazy girl. Why are you so restless?
– You stay well. I'm actually a completely unnecessary person, who was never needed in your life, and never will be in the future. I'm just an unwanted nuisance in your inbox.
– Who told you all this?
– No one had to tell me. Your feelings about yourself aren't some unexpressed rhythm to me. I love you so, so much...
– I feel terrible, believe me.
Why are you doing this, crazy girl? Who said I'm better off without you? In your reckless love I find myself. Your causeless restlessness makes me disheveled. Will you never understand?
If you become upset, who will hold you close in their heart, tell me? Why aren't you talking? Have you fallen asleep?
When you come into my chest and sleep like this, I feel that without you all resentment fades. In your gentle pulse, love still lives today.

– Good morning, my sweet crazy girl.
Come close, let me feel the touch of your lips. Let your touch moisten my lips, let all intentions shatter that tried to guard you.
I'm inside you, completely. In the sound of your breathing today I feel so reckless.
– I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't myself then. I don't even remember what I said to you. Don't misunderstand me.
– You didn't say much, crazy girl, you just said—that you love me terribly.
– Ah! When you caress me like this, I go mad. I feel so lost.
– Everything about you is mine. Your resentment, the tumult of your pulse, your touch, that longing in your eyes—all of it is only mine. Do you understand, crazy girl?
– When you come close like this, I feel such peace. I won't need anything else, I'll only need you.