Why she gave this to me—that is not my question. How do I make her understand what I feel reading this—that is my question! What must I say? How much would it take to make her grasp even a little? This is no ordinary thing, after all, that I could dress it up in some plain explanation and send it to her! But then, I am hardly extraordinary myself! She knows that in that secret game of hide-and-seek, however much she may want to defeat me and make the night unfamiliar and black, I will still seek her out and bring her back, even if I must cross the Pharaoh's tomb! No no, don't mistake me! I won't wait to find her! I will seek and bring her back! Though the night may not be moonlit, I can still free her from this delusion that I have accepted defeat... and the joy of that will remain in the end! My inner self? Yes yes, I broke that long ago! I became an explorer, revealed myself many times! Only there was no finding anything... that's all! On this uneven ground, with a spade to bring autumn to the courtyard— I was that very courtyard that autumn sought. The brush that was in hand to paint rebellious signs— unknowingly, I was that... yes, I was that brush! The cold that wanted to wrap her in evening's trembling— that too, inevitably, was me! Only she never knew any of this... that's all! On fields of ice, on walls of blind nebulae, the fate that time had written— for that fate I stood in line, this wretch called "I"! At the edge of that wilderness where her stubborn emotions stood still until they finally became stillness itself, the tainted woman who still waits there motionless— that exile stained with darkness is none other than this very "I" that I am! Even wandering through the Pharaoh's tomb, I won't just find her— I will seek and bring her back! Yes, I will... I promise!
Within the sunlight, like a shadow
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