Whom I keep in my evening prayer

Why didn't you take this heart of mine before?
This heart could have been churned a little more…
I was ready so long ago,
why did you waste all that ancient time on pointless things?
These days, so much talk with you…
if I don't call you, don't write to you…it's as if my sleep dissolves…
The more letters I write you, filling my diary with thoughts of you…all this keeps me alive!
One day without writing to you, and it feels like an age has passed without a word!
 
Every moment I live, I lose myself that much more in you!
How do you understand me so much, read me so deeply?
You're not even close enough to me
to read me so perfectly from such proximity!
Now I understand—being far doesn't always mean drifting apart!
 
Once, when people fell in love…I used to think,
they're in love…are they mad? Is there really such a thing as love?
Then they'd laugh and say, when your beloved comes, you'll understand everything…
I was truly amazed to hear this! Can people become so mad?
I didn't understand then that love comes just like this…breaking everything apart!
They'd say, love just happens suddenly…what calculations are there in love?
Why are you cultivating such emotion and madness?...I'd hurl this very arrow back at them!
Once I used to think deeply…the person I'd love would be like this, like that…
Now I think, how foolish I truly was! The one you love…doesn't turn out just as you imagined!
 
How can you say simple things even more simply, so effortlessly?
When you write poetry…you keep your feet on the ground…never touching the mountains…how?
I'll read and forget…forget and read…this is how a whole life will pass—
why don't the poems turn out right? Why do they end before they even begin?
Sometimes I feel such desire…to write you letter after letter…each one enormous!
I'd fill the world in one letter…that's what I think!
Tell me, how do you understand this heart?
Do you feel as much as I do?
No one loves me better than I love myself…
that's what I used to think in this life before you came.
 
How do you bear all this nonsense I babble every day?
Why don't you cast me away for this lifetime?
Every day I think, at least today I'll write you something wonderful!
Yet nothing comes of it! Can you tell me,
why am I so scattered? Why can't I organize anything when thinking of you?
Will you teach me to write organized letters? Then I'll write you very neat letters…
 
One day friends said casually…do you know what love is like?
I thought, these people have nothing in their heads! What's this talk of love at this age?
They said, let love come to your life first…then you'll see
how wrong you were before! When love comes…people change so much…
I used to think…love was about giving space and adjusting!
That by organizing and adjusting, you could hold onto anyone!
Now I understand, that's not love—that's compromise!
Once you fall in love, compromise is no longer needed,
no one has to give in, no one has to look away…everything happens naturally!
 
Whenever you came into my life, I could so easily become yours…
No need to adjust and organize, no need to scold my own heart,
just lovingly, carefully call it close to me.
…love takes care of the rest!
The heart that doesn't fill with love, finds no satisfaction,
something always remains incomplete…always falls short…
I long so much to see you…to hear you speak, to speak with you…
Never do I question anything you say or do…
When did I learn to accept so much…I can't even remember!
I see you as so beautiful, I see no faults in you,
everything about you seems just right for my heart!
You never bind me or my words to any rigid framework…
I can tell you everything…you never stop me, not even a little!
How can you love with such freedom?
 
Whenever I feel like it, I sit down to write…I don't have to think about writing…
Whatever comes to mind, I just write…I feel this thirst will never end…
My words won't run out either, I know…love…does it end so easily?
I never thought I'd bare myself so completely, sit with open doors by the roadside…
I've turned away so many, taken vows against so many loves…never felt such tenderness for anyone in this life…
Such scattered storms of emotion have never risen in me before…
What has happened within me…is this what happens when you love?
 
When you come close…I feel, in this one lifetime I'll just keep seeing you, understanding you…
Even if I listen to you for a thousand years…not a trace of weariness will touch my heart…
When you're beside me, moments pass in a blink…
When you come into my thoughts…day ends and night falls, and I don't even notice!
To endure one second with someone I don't love…is like murdering a century!
Love, I suppose…is really like this…night passes and dawn breaks…
Morning ends and rolls into afternoon…evening slips into dusk…
Yet no weariness comes to my thoughts…no rest comes to my heart…
 
Love is like magic…incomprehensible…yet I surrender to its spell…
Nothing else remains in my head, in my understanding…only love remains, only this love stays.
Do you feel the same? Behind your phone, you…when I touch the phone, I touch you…
You stay beside me all day long…it feels so good, I find you so close…
This has never happened before…it's like some strange disease…the more it grows, the better it feels!
Does love come only once? Even if I get nothing else in life,
I won't grieve…won't bind myself in regret for even a moment!
Whether I have you or not in this life, you'll remain in my prayers till death!