When the Heart is Heavy

 When someone's heart is heavy and they come to you saying, "Could you help lift my spirits a little?" — never make the mistake of judging them, never speak to them with dismissive words. In this crowd of countless people, why did they choose you at such a moment? There must be a reason. If you don't have time, let them know, but don't treat them with even the slightest harshness.
  
 When your friend calls you and pours out all their heartache over the phone, the reason is simple — they want you to listen quietly to their words. Perhaps you don't even know what exactly you should say to them, what words might bring a little peace to their heart. That's alright. In times of need, we often cannot summon the right words to mind. But we can listen in silence, we can patiently offer gentle acknowledgments. So it's best if you let your friend speak. Let them talk, you listen. This way everything will work out, they will feel better.
  
 Living is not particularly easy. In the course of surviving, we must endure many terrible things. Everyone's life brings such moments when they need a friend to share what's in their heart. Otherwise, those words remain trapped inside, gradually increasing their suffering. When one of your friends calls you, let them speak. Whatever they say, even if it's difficult, give them your time then. They don't want solutions to their problems — they want to tell you their troubles, they want to hear a few compassionate words from you. Out of so many people, they chose you because they trust you.
  
 Not everything can be solved. Even trying with complete sincerity, you won't be able to find solutions to many problems, because some problems simply have no solutions. Friendship means being present, trying to feel your friend's problem alongside them. If you can solve it, wonderful; if you cannot, you can certainly offer companionship. Even that is a great deal.
  
 Each of us has our own preferences and dislikes, our own opinions. We all have strange fixations that we cling to, yet seeing them, others think, "People actually worry about this?" What means everything to you might mean nothing to someone else. What drives you to distraction with worry, your friend might never give a second thought. The landscapes of our concerns change from person to person.
  
 Truly, it doesn't matter whether the problem is big or small. It doesn't matter whether you know the solution or not. If you let them speak, if you value their words, if you listen to their sorrows with genuine care, their pain will diminish considerably. They want to share their thoughts to quiet their restless mind — they don't want solutions. There's no shortage of people ready to offer solutions or point out their mistakes. They didn't come to you for any of that.

 I know it's not easy to patiently listen to someone's troubles, to give them time in their own way. You might think to yourself, "Do I have solutions to all your problems? How would I know what you should or shouldn't do? Why did you make such a mistake in the first place?"

 You don't need to know. They know you don't have solutions to their problems. They know they've made mistakes too. It's precisely because they've erred that they've come to you — otherwise, why would they? Looking from the outside, it's often impossible to tell who's at fault for what. From a distance, things appear one way; the actual events are quite different. So don't be so eager to impose your opinions. They didn't come to hear your precious judgments — they came hoping for a compassionate glance, they came to hear a few kind words. Give them some of your valuable time; it will help them immensely.
  
 There are many people ready to lecture, but few willing to listen. There's no shortage of those offering solutions, but a great scarcity of those who will hear the problem. There are plenty of people eager to point out faults — you needn't trouble yourself with that responsibility.