When She Writes Him...

ONE.

My dear little man, in these lines I would like to tell you about my feelings, about my love for you---the only and desired. They say that the happy do not write letters, because they have a life they are busy with and which surrounds them with attention, communication and new adventures. Ah, how wrong they are! In real life, I can never tell you about love, open my heart, because looking into your eyes, I always wait for an answer.
A letter of love is my chance to share my sincere and long-flashed feelings with you. Only in these lines will my hands confidently display every word, every letter. My eyes will not fill with tears and will not drop bashfully down, and my voice will not begin to tremble, trying to convey the whole limitlessness of my love. In the lines, I am the one that I am in fact---feminine, sincere and able to love as they love only once in a lifetime.
My love for you is that ray of sun that I so lacked before meeting you. This may seem too naive, but it always seemed to me that true love is completely different. I was getting ready to feel some kind of "click", to feel the inspiration that would completely change me and my life. I watched films and believed that my love would be the same---sudden, bright, sweeping away everything in its path. It seemed to me that only those who suffered it could know love, went through everything: resentment, humiliation and disappointment. I have always considered myself strong and able to think sensibly in any situation, and, therefore, control my emotions. But the first time I met your eyes, hearing your voice, my heart, as if captivated, began to beat harder. Suddenly everything changed, and I realized---love cannot be suffering. It is like a breath of fresh air!
I know, you feel something, but you don't know what it is yet. Just look around, listen to the silence: hear, it knocks! You read these lines, and it knocks more and more! Well, a tear ran down my cheek. This is not despair, no! It just seemed to me for a moment that you called me to your place. I started and seemed to wake up from a fleeting vision.
I don't know what emotions will prevail when you read this letter. Perhaps this will be anger at impotence, because of which you and I are not near now. Or maybe you will drop everything and rush towards me in order to finally hug me and forget about everything. Are you laughing? Will you say that I'm stupid and wrong in your indifference? I won't argue, because I love you!
Hello my handsome! It has been many years since the very day we accidentally grabbed one icecream together at the counter, do you remember? And you didn't let him go for a few seconds. And I was surprised at the impudence and decided to stand to death for the last icecream in that stall. Of course, then you made excuses, kept repeating about my bottomless blue eyes, from which my head rustled and turned off ... And I laughed merrily and did not trust a single word, because I knew very well which guys can sing praises, just to powder my head.
Until dawn, I wandered with you along the shore of the pond, along an alley. It seemed that the icecream that had already been eaten for a long time became our common star, one for two, like the one that slowly and slowly fell from the sky, so that we managed to make a wish together. But you didn't tell me what you thought of that night ... Remember, beloved? We all walked, walked, held hands and looked at each other, as if we would never see each other again.
Do you remember how you first wanted to kiss me? Do you remember how embarrassed and braided your tongue was at that request? And I was seething inside: a stupid man! Why ask if you can see it with your eyes! But you didn't see, you glowed with paint, although it was dark, and the distant lantern highlighted our shadows on the asphalt path ... And how we kissed! Selflessly, to pain, to small cracks on the lips! And sweet and salty, remember?
You called me to get married on the bus when we were driving from the beach. It was so funny: disheveled hair, pulled out from under the hat and adhered to the forehead, dyed with frost in the crimson color of the cheek and a confused look. Were you afraid that I would refuse? And I agreed! Immediately, without hesitation, without consulting with mom and grandmother! It was then that they shouted that I was a careless, stupid girl who was leaving school and a career because of the first person she met. They also cried, dressing me up on my wedding day, howled in a voice both, no, in three voices. I also roared with them, not knowing why. Maybe from happiness, or maybe for company? ...
You went into the army, didn't dodge, although you graduated from high school. And could hide behind our son. You didn't ... I was offended. Stupid, as I did not understand man's honor, pride. In general, patriotism---the word then for me was completely distant and alien. And only later I began to be proud of you, my beloved, realized how important it was for you to serve your homeland, protect the country, parents, me and my own son. How glad you were at his clumsy little words! How slowed him back! I was jealous, yes, very jealous of you both to each other. Alone, you belonged to me without a trace, and as if the two could do without me ... Stupid! But can you do without me!
... And now I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, where you have not had time to wake up yet. I look at you, my love, and I feel like the happiest woman in the world. I have a house, have a son, have you. So big, strong, smart and kind, you have already been ten years in my life ... And you have not forgotten about our date. Here it is, icecream on the nightstand ... You brought it at night and did not wake me up. Melted away. Well, let. We will eat it together when you wake up ...
Hello beloved! I am writing this letter, and in front of me is your photograph. I do not part with him, day or night. It's just that I cannot live a minute without you. When I think about you, it seems to me that you are near, I feel your exhilarating breath, the warmth of your body. Honey, you can't imagine what you are doing with me! I live only for you! While you are on this earth, I'm not afraid of anything, I'll overcome everything. Every day I thank God for helping me find you among many people, for our enormous tender love, which will have no end---I am sure of that.
TWO.
Today I had a dream. You won't believe it, but you were in it. I walked with you across a wide field, golden ears parted around us, and in the distance---a large wooden door. At first, I was scared: where did the door come from in the middle of the field, and how would we go further? Approaching it, we stopped in confusion. But some unknown force told us to bend down and start looking for something on earth. After a while, our eyes fell on the key. We took it, opened the ill-fated door and went on, holding hands ... You know, it was a good dream. The field is our life, large and interesting, the door is an obstacle that we will overcome together, because we will find a solution to this problem---the key. I truly believe in this.
You know, I have a dream. It is very kind, and therefore must come true. I want us to have a real strong family, that we love each other not only during the honeymoon, but also, the farther, the stronger. Let the years only temper us and make us tender to each other. I want ourselves, beloved, to have two children: a girl and a boy. May they please us and be the meaning of our whole life. Agree, it's so wonderful to look at your children and not stop wondering that they are a piece of you and me, merged together!
I hope that reading this letter you feel the same way about me that you miss too. You can't imagine how I want to run up to you, cling to your strong courageous chest, smell your muscular body. My beloved, dear! Believe in the sincerity of my words, because before I could not tell anyone what I was telling you. Why? Yes, because I never loved anyone in the way I love you! I myself am surprised at this, but I cannot do anything. Yes, and I don't want to! You are the best, you are the most beloved, you are the most dear man to me, for whom I can live both in fire and in water! At least to the ends of the world!
At the end of my letter I want to wish the two of us a speedy meeting, which I am waiting for, like nothing else. Hope this is mutual. Goodbye, my dear. Do not forget, write. I kiss you and love you very much!
Your baby
THREE.
Hello, hello! A new day has come, and a new one, I, am writing to you about the love that you generously gave me. Thank you, my frantic angel, for the beauty of your pure soul, for the immense heart and radiant smile! You are the one for whom I overcame life's obstacles, traveled hundreds of roads, traveled thousands of kilometers in search of a real feeling! And here you are! Young, dear, infinitely sweet! You fluttered into my life, hitherto devoid of meaning, and with your tender hand crossed out the past.
You know, love, how I wait for the morning! Awakening, not yet opening my eyes, I see your face! Red lips in a playful smile, flickering lights in my eyes ... I feel your aroma, I want to touch you and finally wake up ... Happy, from the realization that you are mine! Good morning, love! And how I look forward to a conversation or meeting! Let it be short, let it be on the run! The main thing is to see you, hug you and whisper with tenderness the words coming from my wounded heart, with the arrow of cupid, my heart!
I won't write about the evenings ... You know better about them than me! After all, I, after a long day of waiting, have no power over my consciousness! I am only a shadow of my ego, my desires ... I am a quivering moth flying in the glow of heat of your charm---in your arms! You would know how sometimes I can hardly restrain myself from wanting to imprison you and hide you on the edge of the earth! Take away from all fears and troubles to heaven for lovers, where only you and I will be! I really hope that you will agree to come with me! I will try to be worthy of your favor! I will be worthy of your love!
I want to write poetry about feeling! Please do not judge strictly, because I am not a poetess! But still I'll try to throw out on paper those emotions and feelings that seethe in my soul at the mere sight of you, my love!
My good, dear boy!

Yours, having felt love, I will now refuse paradise!

Do not experience like me again!

And I will strive for pleasure! To you, my soul delight!

Let your love be enjoyed!

After all, I don't need anything else from life!

Do not think that I write pathetic, not tasty!

I am writing from the heart, but it sings!

I am writing with hope, if it becomes sad,

My letter will come to the rescue!
See you soon, my love! Until new happy moments! Always remember that I love you!
FOUR.
How about a weekend break, my love? I promise to pamper a cappuccino, with a delicious scum that I'd love to pick up the remnants of your cheek with if you are a sloppy boy. I swear not to bring a drink to bed before 10 a.m. I love, kiss looking forward to hearing.
My love, our baby, opening his eyes for a minute after sleep, is very similar to you. You came after a night shift, did not want to disturb my morning dream and therefore fell asleep on the sofa in the living room. He also looks at me in surprise in the first seconds, and then, with a funny jerk of his nose, as if making sure that next to me, smacking his plump lips, he again starts to sniff softly. When we get home with him, you will understand why I like to watch sleeping on you, he is the same. We miss you very much, although some so far only know your voice, see you soon. One hundred kisses and two native hugs.
FIVE.
I miss you, my cat, a vacation without you seems endlessly long, gray and empty. It would be better if you went with us, my love, and did not stay to refine your important, prestigious, nasty project.
I thank fate, my love, that your character is able to withstand all my whims. Honestly, I promise not to scandalize about or without it anymore. I swear to take an example from your endurance. I'm coming back.
Putting your feelings on paper is the same as landing an angel and burdening it with human worries and inability to express in words what you actually feel and experience. But talking about them is even more difficult. Therefore, today I will try to embody love in words. If I were asked to describe my feelings for you, I would hardly be able to find a complete and truthful description. Yes and no so far, such words that could convey the fullness of my experiences that arise at the mere thought of you, beloved. Therefore, the best explanation for the height of my feelings will be simple earthly moments connected with you and without which I simply cannot imagine my life.
I love when it rains outside the window, and we, covered in a blanket, remember our first meeting. And although each of us knows this story by heart, we will always find something romantic and funny in our memories. Therefore, rain and slush at such times never spoil our moods.
Beloved, if only you knew how I like to discuss the most serious things with you, such as, for example, a 3D printer or the principle of decompression. And although at these moments I often find myself in the role of a listener, this feeling that you are still connected with your beloved friend or partner relations, give my feeling a new facet and depth.
I love when you solve issues that I can't solve. And let it be---it will be a heavy sofa moved during cleaning or just a nail hammered into the wall, I feel fragile and protected, and I always want to take cover on your strong courageous shoulder in difficult times.
Very often, I feel tides of tenderness, inexplicable feelings by common sense. I am sometimes touched by your ridiculous jokes, attempts to cook something edible, given that you absolutely do not know how to cook, trying to be nice to my chatty friends, refusing to watch football matches in favor of my favorite series. It seems to me that it is precisely such moments that can show all the versatility and depth of relations between us.
Many people wonder what they have---love or just sympathy. With what to compare, if earlier this bright feeling did not visit your heart? It is incomparable with anything, and if it rolls a wave on a person more than once in a lifetime, it still will not look like anything. Everything is simple. I'm just looking at you, my love, and I understand that here it is love, and I am happy!
Beloved, today is the 365th happiest day in my life, today is our anniversary! It doesn't matter a lot or a little. The important thing is that the year flashed like a beautiful, sparkling moment. You have been my husband for exactly a year, and I am your wife. I remember every day filled with you, I remember every event, even the most insignificant one.
Probably from the side, our relationship may seem like a pun, and we may be two crazy people who just love to swear, while ruining everything and crying. Darling, I don't care! I must tell you that under no circumstances should you change, no matter how much I asked you after another quarrel, because I loved you just the way you are now. You are my husband, you are the most amazing person on Earth. Persistent, courageous, strong-willed and at the same time kind, affectionate, gentle.
Do you remember how we met? Before I even saw you, I had already fallen for that infectious laugh of yours—it burst out behind me like a thunderclap and went racing across the street. You'll say there are thousands of such meeting stories... I remember the first time you walked me home, I remember every second of that awkward silence at my door. Darling, I even remember the taste of our first kiss. God, how nervous I was then.
You weave together charm and intelligence, humor and gravity, childlike wonder and grown-up feeling. I miss you terribly when you're away. If I could have my way, I'd spend every free moment at your side. I'm grateful that our feelings, despite everything, don't weaken or fade.
But every day I grow more fearful... I'm not afraid there'll be someone else between us—that's simply impossible. I'm just afraid of losing you. I worry when you can't answer the phone or when you're late coming home. Beloved husband... how much feeling, emotion, and experience lives in those words for me!
I'm proud that you're my husband, proud of your every action and every thought. You are perfect for me. If only you knew how much I want to raise your child—it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or girl. I'm certain that in ten years our feelings will remain just as strong, tender, gentle, and romantic. I'll never tire of watching movies with you, watching you sleep, work, or cook, holding you, kissing you. I love when you kiss my hair and tangle your fingers in it.
I love everything about you! Kisses, dearest!
SIX.
Hello, sunshine! I've wanted to tell you about my feelings for so long, but couldn't bring myself to do it. It's nearly impossible to look into your enchanting eyes and not forget what I meant to say. You might miss the most important thing, and you still wouldn't know my true feelings for you. So I decided to put my feelings in a letter, though it won't be easy to capture them in words—but I'll try.
From the first moment I saw you, a small flame sparked in my heart. Each day it grew and burned brighter. I realized my tender, sincere feelings for you had blossomed into something deeper. I fell in love with you completely and could no longer imagine life without you. You became my air, my bright sun, my crystal-clear water. You gave me everything I needed for happiness.
You are the perfect boy for me. You have no flaws—you are perfection itself. Such beauty and grace astound me. I'm proud that the most beautiful boy in the world has become mine. I drown in the blue of your eyes—there's so much tenderness and sincerity in them. They give me the warmth I lacked before you came. Your beautiful hair dances so gracefully in the wind and settles again on your surprisingly gentle body, as if caressing it.
I never stop marveling at your enchanting smile, which makes me forget all troubles and disappointments. I want to smile with you and always be happy. Even when you're late for our meetings and I wait forever, I can't stay angry with you. The moment you smile, the whole world becomes kinder. I always admire your amazingly light step and the attractive curves of your body. You're so slender and graceful that I can barely resist such charms.
But what I treasure most in you is your inner world. You're so pure and innocent that sometimes I feel embarrassed to be with such an angel. You're so kind and sensitive, you always understand me perfectly. I love talking with you, I love being quiet with you, I adore simply watching you. In your actions and movements there's so much openness and mystery at once that I could admire you forever.
For all this, I love you—sincerely and openly. Through you I've known love and found happiness. I want to shout it from rooftops and whisper it softly in your ear. I love you more than life itself and always will.
Hello, my dear and beloved. I was pleasantly surprised to receive your gift—that you remembered my birthday. You always knew everything about me, and this little black dress fits as perfectly as your embrace. Perhaps you somehow envisioned our relationship when you sent me this present.
However it may be, I see you as noble and sublime. I am lonely, and there's no one near me who could compare to you. Remember how you used to be jealous of me? How amusing—your jealousy was groundless. Your virtues would never let me toy with your heart. No, I've never encountered such refinement, such delicacy, and such sharp, blade-like intellect as yours. In any circumstances, you will always be better to me than all others.
SEVEN.
I'm sure you deserve the best, but how can I tell you about the changes in my soul that keep me from being with you? I know you don't like it when a woman cries, and I'm not trying to make you pity me. You know, the first thing that struck me wasn't pain—it was shock at the realization that there could be a crack in our relationship for someone from outside to slip through. How it began—maybe from seeing the same vase in her window that you gave me, or from your words when you asked me to wear red, saying how well it suits her—different from me, but anyone but me... She means so much to you now, all your judgments are measured against her opinion. And I couldn't and can't accept this or live with it.
Yes, we were still together, you smiled at me, outwardly everything seemed the same. But something happened imperceptibly, and against my will, I suddenly felt the whole world differently. This state contrasted so sharply with that first time you invited me out... Then I convinced myself for so long that everyone was wrong, that any decision needed time, that only you were my beloved—but something inside me had gone cold, as if severed. Kisses no longer warmed me, and I could no longer be the same.
I think you noticed my coldness, but you said nothing. You asked me about it when we were dancing, remember? I couldn't play the hypocrite and suffered. Don't judge me harshly—I tried as best I could to preserve our relationship. I understood that you too needed to work through your difficulties from the past. Apparently, she was more than just a memory for you. Strangely enough, I lost your ring the very day she called...
It's difficult when the heart of someone great and beloved turns away from you. Every day you spend some time beneath my windows. But you know, you still haven't released that pain, and perhaps soon it will draw near or pass by...
Surprised? Now, finally, I can tell you everything I think without fear, because you don't see me, just as you don't see my feelings. But I'll try to tell you as much about them as possible so you might feel what I feel! So you understand how much I value you and fear losing you!
Darling, I hope you understand everything I want to tell you in this letter. It's so strange and wonderful when, waking in the morning and falling asleep at night, I miss you so much. I would follow you through fire and water! I will catch with my whole heart your every breath, every smile, because I love you so deeply! I will give you happiness! I can do this, because you are my life! I believe in you, I worry about you, I love you and know that, no matter what happens, I will be here! You know, it feels so strange when you're not around. This feeling of separation is stronger than I am, because it slowly kills me, robbing me of sleep and joy... The romance you give me lifts me to heaven, where I want to stay with you forever...
প্রিয়তম, আমার কাঙ্ক্ষিত, ভালোবাসা, আমার শুধু চাই তুমি সর্বদা আমার পাশে থাকো। যদি আমার সাধ্য থাকত, তাহলে তোমাকে দিতাম গোটা ব্রহ্মাণ্ড, দিতাম আকাশ, চাঁদ আর সূর্য। কত রোমান্টিক হতো, আর তুমি বুঝতে পারতে আমার তোমার কতটা প্রয়োজন। জীবনে মাত্র একবারই আসে এমন প্রেম যখন তুমি নিশ্চিত জানো যে সে কখনো যাবে না, কখনো শেষ হবে না। আমি জানি, আর তুমি?
রাস্তা দিয়ে চলে যাওয়া লাখো হাজারো মানুষের মধ্যে একে অন্যকে খুঁজে পাওয়া আর হারিয়ে না ফেলা—এ এক মহান উপহার আর আমি জীবনের কাছে কৃতজ্ঞ! আমি সবকিছু করব যেন তোমাকে কখনো হারিয়ে না ফেলি! আর আমি খুশি, কারণ এমন ভালোবাসা—নিখাদ ও সত্যিকারের—জীবনে কেবল একবারই পাওয়া যায়। আমি তোমায় অত্যন্ত লালন করি, প্রিয়!
আমি তোমাকে এই চিঠি লিখছি যেন তুমি শেষপর্যন্ত বুঝতে পারো যে আমাদের সবসময় একসাথে থাকতে হবে, সব বাধা, সব পরিস্থিতি অতিক্রম করে একসাথে থাকতে হবে! আমরা আমাদের ভালোবাসাকে তাড়িয়ে দিতে পারি না, এ আমাদের ক্ষমা করবে না, আর ভালোবাসা ছাড়া জীবন একটা পয়সারও মূল্য নেই। তুমি জানো। বলো তুমি কী জানো...
এসো আমরা একে অন্যকে ভালোবাসা আর রোমান্স দিই, আমাদের একসাথে কাটানো প্রতিটি মুহূর্তে আনন্দ করি। আমি আর তোমার ছাড়া বাঁচতে পারি না, শ্বাস নিতে পারি না, অস্তিত্বে থাকতে পারি না! প্রিয়, তোমার প্রেম আমাকে যে সব অনুভূতি দেয় তা যদি আমি বর্ণনা করতে পারতাম, তবে করতাম, কিন্তু তুমি জানো আমি তা পারি না, কারণ শুধুমাত্র একজন আন্তরিকভাবে প্রেমিক ব্যক্তি প্রেমের অনুভূতি বর্ণনা করতে পারে না। এমন অনুভূতি যার জন্য বেঁচে থাকা যায়! এমন অনুভূতি যার জন্য লড়াই করা যায়!