When People Change Themselves

Someone will change themselves for you only when they deem you worthy of that change. No amount of pleading or force on your part will ever make them transform.

You truly cannot force anyone to change.
Even falling at their feet won't make them transform.
If they themselves want to change, then you won't need to keep telling them—they'll change on their own.

You can remind them of their mistakes every day, again and again.
You can bring up all their past faults and wrongdoings, one by one, and remind them as intensely and as often as you wish.
And you can point out, day after day, exactly how much pain they cause you.

None of this will help, unless...

They are reforming themselves.
They understand that they should become better now.
They feel that they need to get their act together.
They genuinely feel from within that they should give you the love you deserve.

...Yes, unless these realizations come from their own understanding and judgment, they will never change!

You think you're special to them. Try to see whether they truly consider you special! If you really are someone like that to them, if they praise your good qualities with an open heart, if the love and understanding in your relationship is completely right—only then will they change themselves for you, the way you want them to. Not only that, they'll try to become exactly as you wish them to be.

When someone values you with their entire being, there's nothing they cannot and will not do for you. Your needs will come to their mind before their own. They won't be happy unless they see you happy. Without question or hesitation, they will put you first, selflessly, above everything else!

So if you have someone in your life who has changed themselves only for you, consider yourself very fortunate. Remember, if you ever find someone who transforms themselves completely for you, according to your heart's desire, who sincerely tries to make you happy and see you content even if it means pushing the whole world aside—then you were surely born with great luck.

Do you love someone deeply? Can you do anything for them? Can you change yourself exactly as they want? Can you even give your life for them?

How wonderful! Now tell me, what about them? Do they want you the same way? Are they ready to stand by you no matter what happens? Will they be able to change everything about themselves for you when the time comes?

If the answer to all this is 'no,' then before it's too late, find someone for whom the answers will be 'yes.' Stop dreaming of spending your life with someone who doesn't see your beauty, who doesn't trust in your strength, who doesn't feel you deeply, who doesn't know your worth. No matter how much you love them, you won't be able to live well with them. They might know how to keep others happy, but they're not willing to keep you happy. So step away from them right now.

Let me put it simply. If they loved you—truly loved you—they would have valued your words by now and changed themselves in a way that would be good for both of you. Since they haven't done this even after all this time, even after having so many opportunities, you can be certain they will never do it in the rest of their life either.