Walking On

When you shower me with fierce affection,
draw me close, hold me to your chest,
kiss me—then I think, truly think…
I could die of happiness!

When you flare up in terrible anger,
scold me, hurl your rage relentlessly—
I think, where can I flee! What can I do!

Finding nothing else to do,
I want to tear out what little hair
remains on my head, strand by strand!
Even then I think…I could die!

When you neither rage nor embrace me,
I think to myself,
surely someone else has stolen you away!
Someone has claimed a share of my love!
Even then I want to—
better to die than this!

Why do I become like this?
Why am I so foolish?
Why am I so frayed and scattered?
Why am I so mismatched?
Why am I so strange?
Why do I torment you so?

What I am, I myself don't understand!
Sometimes when I behave this way with you,
fear creeps inside me,
I can't quite recognize myself,
questions arise in my mind—
am I going mad?

Or have I already gone mad?
This me—I can no longer recognize her!
Day by day I'm becoming a stranger to myself.
Think for a moment—
was I like this before?
The one you loved and drew close?
The one you made worthy of your love?
That me was never like this… no! I wasn't!

Then why did this happen?
What path have I started walking today?
Where does it lead?
I know nothing!
I only know love,
and I only know you!

To me, you alone are my entire world!
When, how this happened, I know nothing of it!
I only know that without you I can't imagine
even a single moment!
One who has never loved with such
shattering devotion cannot fathom this torment!

I am burning,
you understand nothing!
Every day, every moment I'm becoming
a different person,
you see none of it!
All of me is aflame, slowly turning to ash!
Only my heart knows that over this mind
no one has any control!

I have not walked love's path—
love itself is taking me by the hand
down its own road!
It feels like I've never walked this unknown path!
What lies where on this road, I know nothing!
Like a blind person I walk holding love's hand,
just walking, always walking…