To One's Own Being

One.
If I had some language, I too would speak all the unspoken words,
If I had some letters in my hands, I too would drift on the raft of words,
Those feelings that break silently day after day,
That sunlight that hurries across this courtyard in fleeting moments—
With some language I could bind it all together on a single thread;
This broken flute of my heart plays such a mournful tune—
Those who know can search, can hold tight to those sorrows just right.

Two.
You came into my life as a sudden shower,
You came into my life as a handful of sun,
You came into my life as morning dewdrops,
You came into my life as ocean waves,
You came into my life as the monsoon's torrent,
You came into my life as a nor'wester storm, as a cyclone,
You came as moonlight in my broken house,
You came as the sweet-harsh noon sun,
You came as the very snare of my death,
You came as kohl for my eyes,
You came as the lamp of my heart,
You came to my eyes as deep sleep.

Three.
I have surrendered myself to you alone,
In your heart I have stored this heart of mine,
I have made you the entire meaning of life,
I have woven you into every vein and vessel of myself...
I knew it would surely wound me,
I knew this heart would dance to its whims, clutching the pillars of the mind.
Yet I never lost my way,
The way a traveler walks, treading the path,
Just so I walked each day... along that path of your love.

Four.
I don't love you because I cannot live without loving you.
I love you because I love to love you!
If I could love you with all this heart poured out...
If I could love you shamelessly, brazenly, wildly,
The way a dog accepts its master's dominion with joy—
I love you madly like that!
Because when I love you, this heart dances with joy,
I love you because I find happiness in loving you,
I love you because in loving you I find myself,
I love you because this love for you teaches me to rise above my worth,
I love you because loving you lets me bow to all the love in the world,
I love you because loving you gives me an easy universal language for feelings,
When I love you, I love myself,
I love you because I don't want to deny this truth to myself,
When I love you I tenderly care for each of my feelings,
I love you because loving my own love gives my soul peace,
My ability to love you is my only qualification—
I couldn't give myself any other achievement, so at least I try to hold onto this much!
How ugly this foolish love of mine must look to you, I don't know,
What you think of me, I don't know either,
Perhaps you think there isn't another person on earth more foolish and without self-respect than me,
Perhaps you'll think sometime: what's the point of chasing after someone who doesn't love you back!
Perhaps you'll say to yourself, 'This world really is covered in madness!'
Or you might well say—Look, everyone, this is what you call an idle man's love!
Nothing to do after eating and drinking,
No mind for studies,
No worry for family,
Someone who doesn't care about work—what real work could they have besides love, tell me!
I know you'll say more: this world is flooded with all kinds of useless love!
You'll surely say idle people can't find work, so they sit around reciting love's litanies,
Because reciting love's litanies costs no money,
Requires no physical or mental labor—
So what easier work is there in this world!
Love can be hidden from everyone,
But it can never be concealed from one's own heart,
Otherwise one's very being becomes non-existent to oneself!
You can say whatever you like,
If you want, you can finish me off with insults and blows,
Still I will say: from boundless faith in love and the feeling of love itself,
I love my own love, will love it till death.

Five.
I die every day,
Every day I die loving you,
And am born again in new form,
I constantly purify, enrich that old me
With new love.