To Find Me

 
 Never judge me by how I look. You won't find me in the way I dress or what I wear, in how much hair I keep or cut, in how I walk, or in what I seem to be from the outside.

 If you want to find my beauty, you must look at the daily reckoning I make with my own emotions, at the battle I fight against all the adversities of this entire world.

 To define me, you must learn to measure that smile I must keep in my eyes and on my face, holding all my sorrows within. I know how to laugh with hearty sound even while burning in the fires of hell. If you don't know to seek this, don't come to judge me.

 My life is nothing grand or aristocratic, my showcase holds no abundance of awards, medals or trophies by which you might judge me. The greatest prize of this life, which I have received from the Creator, is this: I know how to love, I know how to be kind to people, I initiated myself into humanity long ago.

 Sometimes I become very sensitive and emotional, but that doesn't mean I am weak. When, where, how much of myself to reveal, how much to withdraw—I know all this very well indeed. You cannot simply climb onto my shoulders at will.

 I have fallen in love, been wounded and bloodied by it. I have been betrayed in the most wretched ways. Yes, I have been terribly deceived without any fault of my own. Yet I am not afraid to fall in love, I do not hesitate to love. I know how to love with everything I have. If someone loses me, the loss is theirs, not mine. Today I have nothing left to lose, only things to give. I know very well how to take care of myself.

 When the heart breaks into pieces, I know very well how to gather up those broken fragments one by one and put them back together. I have learned to endure all this. As a human being I am very emotional, while as an individual I am very strongly built. It is not easy to destroy me. I am not one to stop out of fear of stumbling and falling. Even if walking makes me bleed, I know how to wash and wipe away the blood and walk again.

 I have decided that I will be well—not for anyone else, but for myself alone. The reason is this: if I am not well, no one else in the world except me is affected by it. I have broken again and again, shattered into pieces, and each time I have gathered myself together again.
 I know how to endure, how to be brave when necessary, how to maintain confidence when the situation demands it. I have the strength to bear suffering, I have the full capacity to survive by fighting against all adversities. I know very well that I was not born to be defeated. I have everything it takes to survive.

 I am unique. I have many flaws, I have many mistakes, I have many imperfections. Yet I am what I am. Not a hair's breadth more than this am I, not a hair's breadth less am I. For my complete existence, I depend not one bit on anyone else in the world except myself. I live by my own means, I dwell in my own heart. When I stand, I stand on my own feet alone. I take pride in myself.