Thus, sunlight

 
One morning, newborn. I woke from sleep. I saw the familiar morning somehow seeming new! As if I'd never seen it before! Or had I simply not noticed? I don't know. Through the round gaps in the window grille, fragments of light were falling, and it felt as though pieces of diamond were scattering across my bare arms, my face. They had come and sketched a strange board game across the entire room!
For a long while, unblinking. With steady eyes I gazed, and somehow felt the rays of light had touched even my heart! I sensed the hint of a smile blooming at the corner of my lips, and murmured to myself, 'Hey, you've gone mad! You're still in a daze, it seems! Morning has come! Get up!' Just then, a dim green light flickered in the tiny holes atop my phone, and something leaped inside my heart! Taking the phone in my hand, I saw you had crafted a yellow-golden envelope from all the sweet fragrance of tuberose and written 'Good morning' within. Ah, what joy! What a sweet morning!
Lightning played through my entire body in an instant! It felt as though my heart was no longer beating, but rather taking deep, heavy breaths! Somehow I left the bed and came outside. Do you know what I saw there? Again, those rays of light! A magical morning wrapped in white and gold! The first light of dawn, sunlight! Light-traps in every leaf of the guava tree in the courtyard! It seemed as if someone was peeking through those leaf-gaps, watching me, laughing so much! The guava blossoms, heavy with pollen, cast proud glances and said, What's wrong, you withered human of fallen leaves, what are you seeing as you stare at us like that? Don't think so much, don't think at all! We too exist in an impenetrable prison of iron buried within stone bodies like yours! Look deeper into this prison of ours—ah, how much nectar lies hidden there! Here come bees from unknown lands, they drink the nectar and laugh with pleasure! Do you have anything like this? In those black eyes like a bottomless ocean scattered across white ground, has any distant boatman come today? Has someone quietly gathered tuberose buds and left them on your secluded shore?


You know, I answered them very well then! With a slightly dismissive glance I said, When your pollen yields thick, juicy guavas dripping with new sap, where will you be then? Each petal will fall and hide its face in the tiny pots of children's play-cooking! Where will the joy of holding this pollen be then? Who will come to drink nectar in that iron prison, pollen smeared on their body, lips touching every pore? Will the swarm of bees from unknown kingdoms still remember you then? Will anyone bring bright red petals and place them on your shore, remembering those old tales of nectar-drinking?


…Having said this much, what triumphant laughter burst from me, piercing the sky! In great joy I ran and touched the blue of heaven! Coming back, I said,
I have a personal ocean. There lives a sailor who knows no weariness, eternally pure, eternally colorful, eternally radiant! In that sailor's hands remain—
blooming mango buds, dewdrops on soft grass, rain-bathed jasmine, those madhavi vines on worship plates…do you know them?
He comes bearing fragments of light,
he will come at the beginning of every dawn,
he comes bringing all the tuberose just for me,
he will come when every flower bud blooms,
he comes in a slight daze, lost in thought…as an endless murmuring sound,
he will come to play ludo on my bare arms!
…What are you thinking? What kind of ludo? You don't understand anything, so you're thinking hard about sky and sea, isn't that right? Oh dear, that ludo is arranged in chambers of light—ludo of laughter, ludo of joy, ludo of happiness! Do you understand, silly?


Seeing your foolish gaze, I burst into drunken laughter like an innocent child! And gathering my wind-blown hair in one hand, I flung it at you like a sudden shower of rain! Finally, with mischievous eyes, breathlessly running, I fell on the bed and rolled about laughing for quite some time! Burying this face in the pillow, laughing wholeheartedly, I became completely disheveled then, drawing lines of happiness across my entire body moment by moment!


…May such a morning truly come! After so much waiting, may this heart witness such a morning!