Thoughts in Bonsai: Sixteen

1. By what merit of which lifetime did I come to see you—
I do not know.
By what sin of which lifetime do you belong to another—
That too I do not know.

2. I offered my heart, you wanted the body.
I offered my body, you fled!

3. What depth of feeling one possesses,
that much gain one receives.

4. Tell me, what should I drink
to ease your sorrow?
Poison? Or wine?

5. If you had not seen me laughing so,
how could you have guessed at my pain!

6. If you can commit robbery,
then why did you come to steal?
Don't you know, they only respect robbers!

7. Who but I will share in your solitude?
And even if someone does, will they stay beside you weeping so?

8. Life is suffering, time is torment, the world too is wretched!
...I'm wondering, until you return,
on whose shoulders I can lay the blame!

9. Everything you used to say
was all lies,
just like you!

10. Do not seek wounds in desire—
if you have time at hand,
seek me there instead!

11. I ease your pain
by increasing my own.

12. How many more curses will you give?
How many more blessings will you take?

13. Whenever I raise both hands for you,
blood falls from both eyes!

14. What you had wanted, you've forgotten!
And this too you call wanting!

15. You are not in my fate;
you are within me!

16. If you had given just a little time,
I would have changed destiny itself!

You don't believe in time,
yet you believe in fate!

17. We dreamed together, the two of us.
But when nightmares come, I am alone!

18. When leaving, you had said,
'You are as much a madman as you are a lover.
One can love a madman, but not make a home with one!'

19. Thinking of their happiness,
you separated them!
Now you survive, let them perish!

20. Speaking of forgetting,
you fled with all the memories!