1. No one despises wealth, everyone only despises the wealthy.
2. Two paths lie open before you: either earn money, or envy those who do.
3. Beloved, never masturbate. No one but me has the right to have sex with the person I love!
4. Love is universal, gratitude is not. This is why people love easily, but rarely feel grateful.
5. ...but tell me, who are you! Then I'll tell you who you're not!
6. Friendship is better than love. People are satisfied when deep friendship stays deep, but deep love must grow deeper still or people cannot be truly satisfied.
7. The easiest way to annoy your wife is to tell her frankly what you think of her.
8. People say there's nothing wrong with excess. Yet excess is where all wrongs lie!
9. In present times, a happy family is one that was once even happier.
10. If you want to talk to someone, don't market yourself as virtuous and chaste. No one usually prefers a boring girl for conversation.
11. Life's only enemy is love, love's only friend is death.
12. Everyone thinks God is on their side. God sees everyone is on His side.
13. One who is betrayed in love has only one consolation for all past sexual conduct: Love!
14. Most of those who say you must read good books to live are tired of life.
15. Nothing is more tiresome than being involved with a woman who thinks she never makes mistakes.
16. The more a man avoids sexual topics while talking to a woman, the more skilled an actor he is.
17. I once thought I would achieve great nobility in life. Now I understand that safe joy matters more than greatness.
18. We make the most noise about things that don't need discussing at all.
19. Buying liquor requires not moral corruption, but money.
20. Good people die quickly, because there's no point in prolonging such a tedious way of life.