When we think about these two words: sexual abuse, we see that it is a kind of sexual experience. So sexual experience can happen voluntarily or against one's will. If it happens voluntarily, then it doesn't fall under abuse—it's a choice, it's pleasure, or it's a desire or decision. But if it's not a decision, then it becomes abuse—meaning sexuality is imposed upon me against my will. It's an experience where I have no agency, where I bear no fault, where I play no role, where even if I wanted to, I could not have done anything or was unable to do anything.
Since sexual abuse is not in a person's control, I understand that emerging from such trauma is very difficult. Forgetting it is also difficult. But at the same time, we must acknowledge that there was nothing they could have done. Despite trying, they couldn't do anything to prevent it. Despite all the unwillingness in their mind, they had to go through that experience.
What happens in our lives, we can never undo. But by learning from it, or by forgetting it, or by recovering ourselves from it, we can go far. The experience of sexual abuse—that horrific experience—will naturally create suffering in a person, a kind of trauma, distrust, a lack of wellness. But this doesn't mean that person can never return themselves to a normal state! With intense will and effort, it's possible to return to a good state from any terrible mental condition!
That past experience of sexual abuse creates hatred within you, gives birth to revulsion. If you are a man, a kind of hatred toward women might be born within you. If you are a woman, a kind of hatred toward men might be born within you. At the same time, remember this: just as the five fingers of a hand are not equal, people too are not all equal. Not everyone is the same. And those who commit sexual abuse are usually sick people, people with perverted mentalities. If you think everyone is perverted because of one perverted person, then you're committing an injustice to your own mind.
A terrible experience might destroy your faith in people. But try to bring that faith back. Because if you can't bring back that faith, you truly won't be able to live! "Won't be able to live"—this doesn't mean someone isn't letting you live, not at all! You yourself are not letting yourself live. A barrier is being created within your own mind, an obstacle that constantly blocks you on the path of living.
To recover yourself from that unbearable experience of sexual abuse, you need to become busy with your own work. And you need to accept it as a very normal occurrence. If you can't accept it, then at least think this much: something has happened in your life over which you had no control. Remember, the world we live in is not a fair place. Nothing here is fair. But in this unfair world, the way you're living—your predecessors, your forefathers lived in exactly the same way. Since they managed to survive, you too must acquire the strength to keep yourself alive, develop the mentality to live well. Only then will you be able to do something good.
Look, a monster wronged you; if you keep that wrong in your head repeatedly, if you bring that monster into your memory, if you make that monster central to your daily life, then do you know what happens? You're giving legitimacy to the wrong that monster did to you. Remember, the best way to protest against injustice is to rise above the injustice done to you, to transcend it and lift yourself to a much higher place, take yourself to a much higher level. If you can do that, you'll see that you've finally won. You can never win by suffering. You win by overcoming the suffering. Keep these words in mind. Then I think you'll be able to free yourself, at least somewhat, from these problems.