This meeting isn't our last, is it?

: Assalamu alaikum, sir.
: Walaikum assalam. Who's speaking?
: Sir, you don't know me, but I know you—I see things about you on Facebook, hear a lot. I'm calling because I'm in a bit of trouble, sir.
: Yes, tell me. What's the problem?
: Sir, it's about my son—he's very keen on taking the BCS exam. He got into Dhaka University and enrolled in Marketing. Now he's having second thoughts. He's thinking, I came from Commerce background with sports, can I really handle this? Plus he has two other options—Political Science and International Relations. Which one would be better? Since he wants to take the BCS, I thought I'd ask you.
: Which subjects did you mention?
: Political Science and International Relations.
: Just these two?
: Yes, both subjects are available at Dhaka University. Now he's saying, "Ammu, somehow manage the money, even if it's difficult, let me change subjects." And sir, we're very ordinary people, we don't have much money. Still, I'm calling to find out which would be better for BCS.
: Can you change subjects by paying money?
: He'd have to get admitted again, sir.
: What is he admitted to now?
: Marketing, sir.
: Marketing! You mean BBA?
: Yes, sir. Everyone's saying International Relations is good for BCS Foreign Cadre. Should I bring him into IR, sir? Or would Political Science be better, sir? Then it would be easier to become a magistrate.
: Don't you dare move him from Marketing to anything else. Is the boy crazy? What are you saying! A boy got a chance in Dhaka University's Marketing department, and you want to bring him to IR and get him admitted! Just to take the BCS exam? IR makes Foreign Service easier, Political Science helps with Administration—who gave you these bizarre ideas? And you're saying you'll change from Marketing for this! Who gave you this brilliant advice? Why on earth do you want to do such things?
: I don't know anything, sir. I haven't studied much.
: No, no, it's okay, I understand. Who gave him this idea?
: His friends. They told him he won't understand Marketing, it's too difficult. Besides, if he studies IR or Political Science, it'll be easier to become a BCS cadre.
: He hasn't even started classes properly yet, and you've already decided he can't do it! Don't you have to study in IR or Political Science? And whether he'll take BCS or not—what's there to discuss about that now? Don't you have anything better to do in life? How do you know what his desires, opportunities, and capabilities will be like four years from now? He could work, do business, even go abroad. Or something completely different could happen. None of Bangladesh's brightest minds are BCS cadres. Don't you want your child to grow up to be a good person in his own way? Why are you corrupting his mind at such a young age? And why listen to him so much? What does a boy his age understand? How much can he possibly know? Why are you taking his words seriously? The ones advising him are his age too. What great wisdom do they have? How much do they know about life?
: Sir, we don't understand all this! That's why I always tell him to follow you.
: Whether he follows me or not doesn't matter. One needs a philosophy of life. And that philosophy might change with time, with the demands of the era. Let me tell you—forget about BCS. He hasn't even started studying yet. He hasn't even begun first-year classes. Who told you he'll definitely become a BCS cadre? After completing BBA, he could become an entrepreneur. Live independently, with dignity. Create livelihoods for many people, provide a way for many families to survive.
: Actually, that's what we want—I mean, BCS. He has the same interest too.
: That's his interest? Fine! Listen, this interest might fade later. I had different interests too. Did I manage to go there? Or did I want to go there later? Let your son study Marketing and see—he might do something much better than what you're thinking. A BCS cadre job is just a government job. Having the goal "I'll become a BCS cadre in life"—it's a very small goal, nothing spectacular. It's quite possible he'll actually become an entrepreneur. Not working for someone else, but giving jobs to hundreds of people. That would be so peaceful, satisfying, and glorious. You'd feel joy seeing it with your own eyes. Why not? Is that impossible? He might do business. Get good results in the department and become a teacher. Go abroad, study or work there. Are there no other jobs in this country besides BCS? Aren't those who aren't BCS cadres doing well? An entire generation is afflicted with BCS fever! Interest in research is declining, no trace of academic study! And he couldn't even start studying, couldn't even walk around campus a bit, and you're already putting job thoughts in his head! Does that make any sense? Most importantly, who put this destructive idea in your head that you'd bring a student from Marketing to IR or Political Science!
: That's exactly why I dared to call you, sir.
: There's absolutely no question of doing such a thing. If anyone in the entire world tells you otherwise, I'm telling you with complete responsibility—they're speaking without knowledge. There's absolutely no question of shifting your boy from Marketing to IR or Political Science. I'm telling you honestly, absolutely no question. He got admitted to Marketing, Subhan Allah! Many don't even get a chance here. Do you understand what Dhaka University's Marketing Department is? You will not, under any circumstances, take him away from there. And if he absolutely must take BCS, then he will! What's the problem? BCS exams don't have any special love or hatred for particular subjects or universities. To take BCS exams, you just need a graduation certificate, regardless of subject or institution. There are other jobs, businesses, other paths. Now tell me, who gave you this advice? Give me their number! I'll call and give them a piece of my mind! Hahaha…
: Sir, there's another thing. He's saying my father's salary is low, I won't be able to afford private tutoring. While studying Marketing, I won't be able to take private lessons. Then my results won't be good either.
: He needs private tutoring for Marketing!! A university student needs private tutoring to get good results! You people know absolutely nothing! Who told you or him these things? If a student needs private tutoring to study at university, how did he get a chance at university in the first place? Why should he study at university then? If someone needs private tutoring to pass university, they don't need to study at university at all. Show me which public university student takes private tutoring? Do Dhaka University Marketing students take private tutoring? Absurd! Who told you these things? From whose fertile mind did these ideas emerge? If you don't know things, find out. But don't sit around with such bizarre notions without understanding.
: Sir, please explain things to him.
: No, I can't talk to him. I might lose my temper and start scolding the poor boy! I'm telling you. You're his mother—if you tell him, that's enough. If he doesn't listen to you, then who am I to him! Why would he listen to me if he doesn't listen to his own mother who carried him! What are you saying! What I'm telling you, I'm saying with understanding, not without knowledge. He wants to leave Marketing for IR or Political Science… is the boy crazy! If he says anything else about this, you absolutely must not listen to anything he says. And if he really needs private tutoring, he'll do tuition to pay for private lessons. If he doesn't pay attention in class, that's his responsibility, not yours. Why should you take that responsibility? After getting admitted to CUET, I haven't taken a single penny from home till today. My own expenses, even almost everyone in the family's expenses—I've borne myself, still do, always will. There's self-respect in this, joy in this. After he gets admitted to Marketing, you won't send him a single penny from home. Tell him, "You'll study by doing tuition. You'll manage your own expenses yourself." Doing tuition doesn't diminish dignity, begging does—even if it's from one's own father. At most, you'll send money for the first 6 months. After 6 months, not a single penny more. Let him walk on the world's path. Let him stumble and learn about life. Otherwise, he'll spend life as a cripple later. Living dependent on others is a kind of bad habit. I've seen many such people who have no minimum self-respect, no shame, spending life as burdens on others' shoulders. Instill this lesson of standing on his own feet from honors first year—let him become a human being. And since your family's financial condition is poor, it's his responsibility to study by doing tuition, manage his own expenses. You've gotten him admitted to a good university—how many parents can do this? How much more will you do? Why should you do more? Don't keep him crippled. Don't indulge these words of his. He got admitted to Marketing, let him study there. He has to study there. I won't talk to him. Because listening to his words has made me lose my temper. I didn't understand what you were saying at first. I was distracted, I thought you were asking me which of the two—IR and Political Science—he should get admitted to. He's thinking of leaving Marketing for these two subjects… is he mad! Marketing is a very good subject. Those two subjects aren't bad, but I see no reason to leave Marketing for them. And nowadays, which subject someone studies has very little connection with career. I have a colleague who studied Sanskrit and became an excellent customs officer. He can't practice medicine, can't do engineering work. Those are professional or technical things. He has many things he can do. Someone studies Bengali and works at a bank, someone studies Finance and works at the same bank in the same post. Both their careers are similar. There's nothing to be so worried about regarding subject or university.

The real work is to prepare oneself to be worthy of the job market.

: Exactly, sir. I've told him—if I need to help you, I will. I'll support you. I'll give you five years. You study.

: What kind of support? What are you saying! He should tutor students. He should struggle and become something in life. If you don't let him tutor, do you think he'll study day and night? Not at all! He'll wander around, waste time chatting, shamelessly romance with your money. He might even start using drugs due to bad company. He doesn't have much sense in his head anyway—can't you tell from how he talks? After getting into Marketing, he should tutor. Support him for these few days. When he gets a hall seat later, you won't need to send five thousand taka every month. That money will be saved each month for other uses. And tell him to tutor. Tell him to support his studies through tutoring. Tell him to learn by facing hardships. Tell him to walk the path of the world. Without facing struggles, without hardship, no one becomes a proper human being in life. Besides, tutoring will keep his mind and brain in healthy practice.

: Then I won't help him anymore. No need. I won't even change his subject. Let him study whatever he's in. Whatever happens, happens. Let him become human by getting kicked around.

: You should help him for the first six months. He doesn't have a hall seat now, he's staying in a mess—cover that expense for now. Tell him to get into the hall, manage a tutoring job, teach classes somewhere. When baby birds are small, you have to feed them by putting food in their mouths. After that, they can eat on their own, fly on their own, right? You help him financially for six months. After that, tell him, "Son, your father isn't very financially strong. You do some tutoring and study." Tutoring will make his basics strong too. How old is he really, how much does he understand? We became strong in basics because we tutored. If he doesn't tutor, he'll forget all his matriculation and intermediate studies. Those studies are most useful in job exams. Without practice, the basics rust. Tell him to tutor, study academics well, enjoy university life. If he wants to buy peanuts for his girlfriend, tell him to first earn the money for those peanuts. Finding happiness with your own money is good—even finding sorrow with your own money is good. Someone who has to carry the water bucket with his own hands never thinks of wasting water. One must take responsibility for one's own life. A man's philosophy should be—first income, then expenses. Tell him to live life properly, the rest will happen automatically. There's nothing to worry about career now—that concern will come when the time is right. Becoming a BCS cadre is a very small goal for life's ambition. Don't let his dreams be confined within such limited boundaries. While others' journeys end at the sky, let his begin from the sky itself. Tell him to keep his eyes and ears open—honors life isn't for fooling around. Teach him to think like this, to have respect and faith in himself. You won't listen to all his talk, will you?

: All right, sir.

: Good. Take care.

: Sir, let me take a bit more time. Let me introduce myself. You were in Kurigram, sir. I always hear about you.

: Yes, I was in Kurigram. I was also in charge of Lalmonirhat. Very beautiful places!

: You were in Lalmonirhat too!

: Yes, I used to work in the Lalmonirhat office as well.

: I work as a computer operator on master roll in Kurigram, sir.

: I see, good.

: Everyone talks about you when we eat. You all were like a family in the office. Everyone tells various stories about you. That's how I know you, and got your number.

: No no, that's fine.

: That's why I called you. Please don't mind, sir. I had to call for my son's sake.

: No no, he's saying these things without understanding. He's young, he'll be fine. But never indulge him. Many people this age speak confidently about things they don't understand.

: No sir, my son is a good boy. I explain things to him, and when I do, he understands.

: Tell him—whatever support needs to be given, I'll give it. No problem. You study, and alongside that, do two or three tutoring jobs. Handle your own expenses. Learn to build self-respect. When you handle your own expenses, your respect for yourself will grow, your sense of responsibility will increase. Those who live depending on others never straighten their spines their entire lives. Their shame disappears at some point, and later they become worthless. They blame the entire world for their condition. Of course, if you had abundant wealth, that would be different. Rich people's children can get by without doing all this! Haha... Anyway, you explain these things to him. If you do, you'll see he'll do something very good in life one day. He'll make you happy. Whether he becomes a BCS cadre, or does another job, or research, or business, or goes abroad—all that can be thought about later. Don't ruin his head with "BCS BCS." A person's life's prosperity has no connection whatsoever with their honors subject. Tell your son to keep his intentions right—if he can do that, destiny will keep him on the right path.

: I'll tell him, sir. I've had him study at BKSP since childhood. After leaving there, he got into all the universities.

: Your son is truly a good boy. And getting a chance in Dhaka University's Marketing is itself difficult. If he got a chance there, it means he's good as a student—I can understand that... So all right, you guide him that way, okay? And give me your email address—I'll make a PDF of my BCS-related writings and send them to you. Have him read them occasionally. He'll get some guidance that way. But let him go in whichever direction he wants to go—don't impose your wishes on him. You can tell him to read some of my writings on my website, it'll be useful. You'll find my writings and speeches at www.sushantapaul.com. Most importantly, tell him to study his subjects properly. You'll see, he'll place well in his department. Those friends who told him he can't study Marketing, that Marketing is a very difficult subject—tell him never to mix with them again. Tell him to answer their words through his results. What he's telling you, he's saying without understanding, and he's saying it because he's still young. If he had wisdom, he would never say such things.

: Actually sir, we don't understand much either. No one ever explains things like this.

: Those boys are saying, "You study Political Science or IR. If you study these, becoming a BCS cadre will be easier." How much do they know about the world! If he studies Political Science or IR, you'll see, no competitive sense will grow in him at all. Marketing requires some effort, some study. Is there that much pressure in Political Science or IR? You'll see, he'll romance all day, then study when exam time comes. Hey, he won't even get good tutoring jobs! If he studies Marketing, at least he'll get some tutoring, can teach classes at coaching centers. But there are exceptional stories to everything too. Different people are different types. Your son might not be such an exception, right? To take the BCS exam, he'll leave Marketing to study IR, study Political Science! If you study IR, becoming a foreign cadre is easy, and Political Science for administration! What strange nonsense you people accept! Never listen to these things again, okay?

: No no, all right, sir. I couldn't understand at all. Right now, to manage the 12 thousand taka for new admission, I'm having to call so many people! Otherwise, I wouldn't need any extra trouble. He's already admitted to a subject! He can study with his father's money in that subject.

: Exactly! Tell him to study in whatever he's admitted to. Forget the rest! At his age, young people think about many things, most of which are wrong. They don't understand first, then understand after getting kicked around.

: Sir, don't you visit Lalmonirhat anymore? My home is in Lalmonirhat town itself.

: No. I don't visit that side. It's actually quite far from Chittagong!

: Khala is there, your mother. She talks about you all the time, absolutely all the time.

: Which khala?

: Khala, the one who cooks food for everyone.

: How do you know her?

: Sir, I told you, I work there.

: I see. Where do you work? In Lalmonirhat?

: No no, I'm on master roll as a computer operator in Kurigram, sir.

: You probably weren't there when I was there.

: No, sir. I joined after you left.

: Oh, you work in our office?

: Yes, yes.

: Khala is like my mother. There are no people as good as Khala. Truly an extraordinary person. I haven't seen such a loving and sincere person. She can love people with a heart just like a mother's. I've seen very few such people.

: Hearing about you from Khala's mouth every day, you've become familiar to me. That's why I've saved your number too.

: No, that's fine. I pray that your son will do something good. I want him to become a good person in life. Wherever his livelihood is destined, he'll go there. Even if the entire world together doesn't want it, he'll go. I believe this. And if you ever feel you need my help, call me without hesitation. I'll give him all kinds of support. But what I said... tell him to stand on his own feet, which will make you happy. If he stands on his own feet, everyone will respect him, he can do something for family and society—seeing all this will give you great peace. Understood? All right, take care.

: Come visit us if you get time, sir.

: I will, Inshallah.

: Please don't mind, sir. I called with great courage, sir.

: No no, it's fine. Take care. Assalamu Alaikum.

: Many thanks. Walaikum Assalam, sir.