There will be no meeting again, and so

 When It Began
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You know, even moments have their colors!
Like this one, for instance — today's moment was colored…
I mean, today's nighttime moment…
Night meaning… around two o'clock it must have been… or two-thirty…
That precise moment was green.


I felt such longing to call you and show it to you.
But how could I show you? And where were you anyway?
Perhaps you were there,
perhaps you saw it too, right alongside me!


And meanwhile… you're here too!
You came and said, so surprised,
Who is this 'you' again! When did they arrive?


There is no one called 'you'!
No one by the name of 'you' exists!
There never was anyone called 'you'!
No one called 'you' ever stays!
So is this all imagination?


You know, I used to think humans were free, at least in their imagination!
No, how wrong I was! That thought was utterly false!
How wretched, don't you think?


Now I have another wretched desire…
To fill my cheeks with brown cigarette smoke,
I mean, to draw that cigarette smoke into my mouth
and then release it into yours…
By 'into your mouth' I don't mean in that signature Coke style of yours,
I mean, not in that Coke-drinking manner—
not like taking Coke in my mouth and suddenly pushing it into yours…not like that.
By 'release it into your mouth' I mean… all over your face, your eyes, cheeks, nose!


How strange desires become… don't they!


After the Beginning
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I never liked any of your posts, never commented.
I shared almost all your writing to my own wall… set to 'only me.'
Someday, when I could read Bengali properly, I mean
when I'd have a phone good enough to read Bengali…
I'd read them then, and the writings would stay with me…
Wait a second!… did you just burst out laughing reading this?


One thing really irritated me. On your wall,
other people's posts, photos, all sorts of cheap things…
it was so hard to find your original writings.
I used to think, since the profile owner was accepting all this,
no matter how much it annoyed me, there was nothing I could do.


I never knocked on your door, never did.
Today when I think of it, I laugh so hard, I actually laugh out loud!
I think, someone who has crossed oceans,
and I objected to them over a drop of water!


A Little More After the Beginning
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Remember, ages ago… seeing your like on that photo…
wondering why you would like such a photo,
that's when I first knocked… the date was October 10th!
How could I have known then… you had already changed long ago!


At my objection, you laughed so hard that day… you did laugh, didn't you?
Laughed quite audibly? Even told some people about it, I think!
Boys laugh like that, they tell others…
Today is another living October 10th! Three years have passed… are passing.
This 3 is just a number.
Even if time added a zero beside this 3 to make it 30,
the arithmetic of relationships would remain the same!
Let time bear witness, I want it to… let it!
Do I really want it to?


The water of the sea that isn't made for love,
even if it loses its essence and becomes a vast desert…
what does it matter to anyone!


How strange life is, isn't it?
If that one like hadn't been given—
this absurd 'I' of mine
might never have revealed itself to you!
Annoyed by this unwanted me's painful feelings,
you wouldn't have had to say with such contempt…
I feel no emotion for you. Please, try to understand!
Nor would you have said with utter disdain…
Are people mad? Am I crazy… why would I come to meet you?


I send my love to whoever owned that photo.
It's because of them that I got to know you…
how else would I have found the you that exists inside?


This Isn't the End Yet
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I'm thinking so much about that foolish girl today…
and about that day too.
The boy had said, What's wrong? Am I not handsome? Can't you look at me? Even with me sitting right in front of you, you're staring out the window… what's the reason, tell me?
The girl had laughed in embarrassment. A muffled voice emerged, No no, it's nothing like that!


When the people we love are right in front of us,
somehow even the language to speak gets lost…
this simple truth the girl couldn't explain that day.


So many words, so many memories… everything kept with such care!
The taste of coffee that day had become unique… like nectar!
Only the last words of that day echo again and again in the girl's ears…
The girl told that boy, This is our first and last meeting!
Hearing this, the boy had reassured her, No no, we'll meet again!


Yet so many days have passed, we still haven't met!
The boy had also promised the girl… we'll meet again.
The boy didn't keep his word, the girl turned out to be right!


Some love remains hidden in solitude, which no one understands.
Some love that doesn't end even after ending, such love simply exists!
Whatever may happen,
in true love there's never any place for hatred, harm, envy, neglect, pettiness…
these words never belong there, never will.


The girl still loves that boy far too much…
the boy will never understand this, not ever!