The Worship of Departure

And so, I departed beyond our familiar boundaries—there can never be adequate reason for such a position. I accepted in an instant the simple truth that you cannot bear me against your heart's will.

Keeping me close under the pretense of necessity was outside your nature. And beloved! Did I ever truly become that? Behind your mysterious smile, as if the fear of leaving me!

Sometimes I think, among all the worthy people in your life, I am perhaps terribly out of place. Whoever you're with now has surely kept you very well! It's so good to see you happy with someone.

Yet the anguish of not being able to stay with you remains. Insignificant as I am, I lack the audacity to ask you to remain in this dust-gathering room; you'd better stay in my worship instead—from afar, I touch you with the inside of my heart.

How many times have I explained to myself that I'm forbidden from joining the procession of happiness, it doesn't suit me. You know, this is the only place where I couldn't stay close to you; but it's not at all true that I didn't want to because I couldn't. Anyway, you haven't grown tired of performing happiness, have you?

How essential is being well? I don't know exactly, but it seems my absence is just as relevant.

Enough! You want freedom from this clamor, don't you? You could have said so earlier! Of course, if I hadn't wanted it, you could never have devastated the inside of my heart like this.

Tell me, you don't seek freedom from winter's fierce winds, so why do you seek it from me? How impartial are your feelings surrounding me?