The Wild Goose's Sigh

When love reveals itself wild in the wild passion of wild geese,
even then all the dwellings of happiness survive, only to drift away, gathering slowly in the courtyards of strangers.

You are the one I remember in every moment—sometimes you want this, sometimes you don't want it at all.
If I should vanish in your neglect, then in some forgotten hour, don't even mistakenly come searching for me.
You won't find me anyway!

Don't you see this city—
in this city every person is mentally unwell.
Some are perhaps literally mad,
others maybe from loving some "you" too intensely, become in translation... circling back, that same madness!

Why didn't you understand?
Your world is perhaps bright with countless lamps like you, glowing in its own glory,
so perhaps both you and your own world are accustomed to being clear in few words.

But my world, in your calculating eyes, is former like me—lost in darkness upon darkness!
So you never have the time to understand my language.

How much I keep saying...
You're very busy now. You lack the time to understand me.
The words of my heart and the stabs of my pen—
you no longer have the time or patience to separate these two.
So instead of advancing in poetic form, I've said directly what's in my mind,
though I know that to you, even this will be, in the end, just some writing!
—Here lies all my failure!

Whether this is my inadequacy in choosing words, or immaturity in expression—
I truly don't know.
What invisible, unearned failure prevents me from making you understand anything—
this I still haven't learned.

Pain is happening—saying this never conveys pain.
Not everything can be explained through words.
Some words must be understood through one's own generosity,
or bid farewell with one's own indifference.
There is no middle path.

Through such neglect, such unbearable means,
let me not make this love of mine into an unwelcome demand!
Not every story finds its resolution in drawing near!

When your city's weather holds the warmth of staying well in intense busyness,
just then in my city, in continuous melancholy upon melancholy,
the terrible low pressure of losing myself within myself!

If you want to stay well by leaving me... stay!
I'll try instead to find you among the crowd of fairy tales I've arranged.
Just one request. Through such acting, by being mine without being mine,
don't force me to lose this way anymore!