The Wedding Invitation from My Beloved

So your girlfriend's getting married and you're feeling blue? You even got the wedding invitation? Oh my word! Come here, brother! Don't be so glum. I understand your emotion—I've walked the same path, you know! My girlfriend too got married before I could. Now I realize, it's really not a big deal at all. Though I didn't go to her wedding, of course.

Didn't go—I mean couldn't go. Your girlfriend is much nicer, she invited you. Mine didn't even invite me. But if she had invited me, I would've gone and feasted properly. There's no greater fortune than eating at your ex-girlfriend's wedding feast. The food at your ex-girlfriend's wedding is the most delicious cuisine on this earth.

So I'm telling you, you will go to the wedding and absolutely, absolutely fast for the two days before. No eating or drinking, keep your stomach empty, then go there and eat to your heart's content. And if possible, take along some uninvited guests—say, about twenty people. Take twenty people so they run short of food there. That's your duty! Beyond this, I really don't see what else you can do.

My girlfriend is getting married, she's invited me, what should I do now?! That's what you're thinking, right? Why are you being so silly? You'll go eat the feast now, what else can you do besides eating the feast? If you can, invite me too, take me along. I'll go to the wedding too; let's see what kind of good food we can get there...what's the problem?

There's great fun in eating at someone else's ex-girlfriend's wedding, you understand? Of course, all of us who eat at weddings are actually eating at somebody-or-other's ex's wedding! Because most people who get married in this world are somebody-or-other's ex. This means I'm someone's ex; my wife is also someone's ex; again, my ex-girlfriend married someone who's also another person's ex; and his ex-girlfriend married someone who also married somebody's ex.

Marriage is basically a marketplace of exes. Therefore, we're all eating at somebody-or-other's ex's wedding, so none of this is a big deal. We have to grow up eating at exes' weddings, we have to die eating at exes' weddings...so there's nothing to get worked up about.

She invited you to her wedding—your girlfriend is really nice...really nice! She invited you, so you go eat the feast. One should honor people's invitations. She couldn't love you, fine, but she did respect you. She invited you so warmly, and you won't honor that respect?! Just go and see, you'll really enjoy it! What fun, I tell you! When you see her husband next to her, you'll think, I was so much better than him, I looked so much more like Shah Rukh Khan than him, and instead of marrying me she married him! I look like Hrithik Roshan, and he looks like Dipjol...and so on and so forth.

All this will keep occurring to you. There's actually peace in this, brother. When you take photos and come home and look at them, you'll think, hey, he doesn't suit her at all! He doesn't suit my girlfriend, I would've suited her better. You'll look at that special couple photo, then look at the old photo you have with her...the one you took, say, sitting by marigolds or in a garden. You'll look at that one too, and this one too. Then you'll think, oh my! I suited her so much better, he suits her less. Then you'll be in quite a cheerful mood.

Think about it—your stomach at peace, your mind at peace. Peace and more peace! What greater peace exists in this world, tell me? You absolutely must go, and if possible, invite me to the feast too, I'll go as well. You eat, I'll eat too! It'll be wonderful. It'll be fantastic.